Things You Can't Do

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Don’t read this post.

2

Uhh, what? Great. Thanks a lot! :frowning:
Now I’ve read the post. Now what am I supposed to do? Cripes. . .

Tripler
I burned a whole 3 seconds reading your post. I’m sooo lost now. :slight_smile:

3

Rub your own back.

4

Understand a Mobius Strip.

Figure out how to get this keyboard to put an umlaut over the “o” in Mobius.

Spell “umlaut” without looking it up.

Do anything useful lately.

5

Spider Woman:

ö. Also known as Alt+0246. And you spelled umluat correctly, I think.

What I can’t do:

  1. Not be nervous before a dopefest.
  2. Not get lost in Old Town.
  3. A split.
  4. Curl my own weight.
6

touch my tongue with my nose.

7

touch oldscratch’s nose with my tongue

8

I spelled it correctly, but I looked it up first.

So can you e-mail me more specific instructions about how and when to do this alt stuff to get the umlaut over the “o”? Thanks!

9

Roll my R’s. Unless I’m typing and I rrrrrrrrreally concentrate.

I actually was able to read the post, incidentally :wink:

10

But you were unable to follow its instruction.

11

Damn, you’re right. And I just went back and re-read it, thus leaving no doubt about my failings.

12

That’s OK. I don’t believe everything I read.

Things I can’t do:

  1. Listen to radio sports babble for longer 15 seconds becfore I have a psychotic episode.

  2. Listen to Miss Cleo offer me a psychic reading one more time.

  3. Kill Diablo without dying at least once.

  4. Just eat one potato chip of any brand.

  5. Convince myself sauerkraut is edible.

  6. Fly.

  7. Understand women. Or men for that matter.

  8. Get these @#%%^ @^&^ @$&% experiments to work right.

  9. Spin straw into gold.

  10. Remember to add Hi Opal as my third thing.

13

I can’t whistle. I can do the lame, soft, “this is a good tune so I’ll whistle it to myself” whistle. But I can’t uncork a big, loud, “Yo, taxi, get yer bumper over here!” whistle.

14

Neither can I! :frowning:

15

I can’t get my kids to clean up their damned rooms!

16

I can’t go more than 5 minutes…7 maybe…without thinking about sex.

17

Better than me, Dire Wolf!

18

  1. Take instruction from Lib. :smiley:

  2. Sing in key.

  3. Bowl a 200 game.

  4. Cook bacon.

  5. Whistle.

  6. Roll my tongue.

  7. Listen to “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Scaggs at any volume lower than full blast.

19

I can’t snap my fingers
I can’t do a cartwheel
I can’t make french toast
I can’t do the taxi whistle thing, either

20

Wow. I could go 5 or 7 weeks without thinking about sex, easy.

I can’t whistle with my fingers in my mouth.

I can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

I can’t speak any language except my own. My pathetic 3 years of high school french notwithstanding.

I can’t stand watching sports.