Things you find in your pockets...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The things you find in your pocket after a night of party hopping, or any other inebriated event that you can’t remember.

Five bottle caps.

A chunk of glue.

A match book with what looks vaguely like a phone number scrawled on it.

Half a cigarette.

Half a candy bar.

Half an omlette.

A picture of you with Rick James.

A ticket for streaking.

Three lighters you don’t recognize, none of which work.

Half a love-letter written by you, addressed to someone you don’t know.

A marriage certificate.

A used condom.

Paper clips.

And a mutated ball of lint with malicious intentions.

Any I’m missing here?

2

You left out “receipt at Rosie’s Tattoo Parlor for $275”

3

Ah, but you left your wallet on someone’s dresser. You woke up that morning but forgot her name so you have to drive all the way back to her apartment and hope she’s there.

4

A note that says, “Great ‘party’, call me.” that is signed by someone who calls themself Santa and has a $10 bill folded inside of it. I still can’t figure out what that was all about.

5

A Polaroid of yourself and three other people you don’t know dancing on a bar you don’t remember being at.

6

Pockets?

Where are my pants?

7

Pants? Who wears pants to a party? Its just too expensive loosing pants all the time, much better when you know your gonna get naked to show up that way.

8

Well, I’ve found out (from a very attractive woman, I might add) that I am an obnoxious drunk who spent all last night throwing people’s shoes out the window…

9

somebody else’s hand.

10

I usually find wadded-up money after I’ve tossed beer-stained jeans into the wash.

11

Well if you have the receipt from the tatoo parlor where did the receipt from the piercing place go?

12

This reminds me of a blooper (or is it a UL, anyone know)?

Don’t know the show, but the question was:

“What do you find on a pool table, and in men’s trousers?”
:eek:

13

Well, I woke up the morning after Mardi Gras with so many beads around my neck it ached. And I didn’t remember “earning” them all, except my guy friends assured me they brokered my titties and I was responsible for their impressive arrays of beads, too.

Ay yi yi.

Not a pocket, but in the same vein. My bosoms are in a lot of strangers’ vacation photos.

14

That was you?? Thanks a lot, Myrr… I woke up this morning and my feet were killing me from walking home barefoot!

15

Back in college, my roommate one summer disappeared after a party and in the morning was lying on the porch with a 3’ piece of railroad rail, and 16 cinder-blocks. No clue where he’d gotten them.

My father-in-law once found a gravestone in the trunk of his car after he and his cousins went out drinking.

16

Things my weird college roomate came home from parties with:

The receiver from someone else’s cordless phone, no idea who it belongs to, and it’s out of range and no longer charged, so it doesn’t work…

Someone else’s car keys, but not their car. Wonder how they got home…

Wearing clothes she hadn’t worn to the party…

17

::sigh:: I always pass out long before I blackout. Damn. I wish I would come home with cool, strange, unexplained stuff sometimes. But I’m always to busy vomiting Frito Pies all over wicker sofas.

–Tim

18

HA HA I thought you said wiccan sofas, and I was wondering how sofas could practice witchcraft.
Silly me.

19

Money - I was broke when we went out to a party and had over $50 in my pocket the next morning. And no, my ass did NOT hurt.

Thanks for making me remember that…

20

What kind of funky-ass places are you getting drunk? Did this happen at Jeffry Dahmer’s going-away party after he was sentenced to prison?

I actually woke up after a binge one day to find a wedding ring on my finger. I spent 2 days trying to find out who I had gotten married to, only to find out it was a prank. A recently divorced buddy put his old ring on my finger while I was passed out.