[QUOTE=salinqmind]
There’s the whole sub-universe of pretentious names people give their mundane children, but that could be a whole other thread. … I had a neighbor I glimpsed every so often, and I knew her name was ‘Andrea’. I once brought her a piece of mail of hers that got put in my mailbox - ‘this is yours, Andrea’. I was haughtily informed that ‘thanks, and my name is Ahn-DRAY-uh.’ Uh-huh. (Hereafter referred to in Case Sali as ‘Ahs-HOLE-uh’, who is on the mailing list of a rubber dick emporium ).
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In the same vein, I get highly annoyed at the intentional misspellings of girls’ names (Jenafer, Breighanna, Mashell) to show how oh-so-unique their little angel is. You see this a lot with female newscasters.
Going into any music thread and posting about your favourite band, who have released an album(online) that sold five copies and no one else in the world has heard of them (probably because they suck harder than a gold-plated Dyson).
Exactly. I wrote this a while ago as a way to blow off some steam about one of my (ex)co-workers:
Ten easy steps to become a pretentious snob.
Despise absolutely anything based purely on how popular it is or was.
If you are caught liking something popular, remark how you were totally into whatever it is, but how you can’t stand it now because it changed due to popularity.
Pronounce foreign words, which have been integrated into English, as how the native speakers of that country would pronounce it; especially if there’s already an accepted alternative English pronunciation which makes it clash less to the ear.
When you clearly don’t fit into the crowd, become the center of attention by complaining about stuff no one really cares about.
Overcompensate by talking a lot when your actions show you’re inadequate. This is a good maneuver to distract attention away from your shortcomings.
Become obnoxiously knowledgeable about wine, coffee, food, politics, technology and music, then condescend people who have different tastes, needs or opinions than you.
Never be caught not having an opinion about something. When in doubt, dis it.
Be incredibly prejudiced by your preconceived notions. Let nothing else change your mind, like logic, enjoyment, or most importantly, someone else’s opinion.
Correct people on the spot when you think they’re wrong. Even if you’re not entirely positive yourself. Stick by your guns and never admit defeat!
No one can be absolutely knowledgeable. But, ironically, not everyone knows this. So just pretend you are.
I am feeling rather charitable at the moment. If it makes those people who point out typos and spelling mistakes feel better about themselves and makes them feel more intelligent than they really are I say let them.
Anything that smacks of sneak-bragging and or more about you than the topic itself.
To be clear: I worry that some of the stuff I like to talk about might be perceived as pretentious. I think threads like this make it clear that we are worried about being perceived as pretentious - while also trying to come across as smart, articulate, self-aware - hard not to drift into pretension on occasion.
When I do, I try to acknowledge and reset. And stay focused on topics I have sincere interest in - but over in the “is there Jargon in your Hobby?” thread it is easy to see how sincere interest can spill over to pretention pretty easily.
We are all a hop away from wine drinker to cork sniffer…
Wine snobs who make a big deal of letting everyone know what they think of some wine. “I’m tasting black cherry and a bit of pepper. Oooo… is that a slight hint of blue jay poop?” Invariably, they also take forever to order the wine since they grill the waiter about each one.
I feel like letting them know what I’m tasting in whatever I’m eating. “This pasta is fabulous. The wheat has a slight toasted taste and Oooo… the eggs must have been farm fresh. What do you think?”
ETA: (keep in mind I wrote that out of frustration of some truly remarkable snobbish behavior from my coworker. I kept it to myself, but then posted it on facebook for my other coworkers to snicker at [read: satire]. He’s the epitome of that list)
I think that sounds like an awesomely interesting conversation, actually. Playing “guess the ingredient” is a pretty popular game at our house, especially when we run across some really awesome dish we’d like to replicate at home.
