Junk mail/credit card offers. Why ME? See, Mr. Credit Card Company, the reason you’re offering me credit cards is because I have good credit. And how do you think I got it in the first place? By not accepting a credit card from every stupid credit card company in America! I get probably ten credit card offers a week.
They all get thrown away…eventually. But I can see three of them from where I’m sitting right now.
Lugnuts.
I keep finding them in the street. I’ve got four or five now, none of which are from my car.
No, brother… they’re finding you.
Carmex. It’s everywhere. I buy Carmex at least once per week, because I never have it with me when I need it. However, from where I’m sitting no I can see 4 of them, two within reach. I know there’s another in my jacket pocket, and at least one at work. The good news is, it lasts forever unless you leave it on the dash in the summertime.
And, extension cords. I buy them compulsively, generally in 3 packs. I rarely use them, but should anyone need power 1/2 a mile away from the nearest outlet, I’m the one to talk to.
Animals, cars, motorcycles, skis, printers, trailers, Ford engines, bent up metal trash cans, lawn mowers, dart boards, piles of wood, pinball machines, refridgerators, beer bottles, beer cans, cds, beds, tvs, neighbors…
but you can never have enough tools or toolboxes.
The first meal my boyo made for me was tuna croquettes. It was awful, but I politely had seconds with plenty of catsup. On our first aniversary, he made me a special dinner. Yes, he made tuna croquettes. It was as awful as I remembered it. Thank God, I only have to eat it once a year!!.
Cats, lots and lots of cats.
I also have lots of plastic coathangers. They’re not related to the cats in any way.
Sample - You’re not the only one overrun with elephants. My sister wanted a baby elephant as a pet when she was a kid. The story was repeated constantly and now my sister had quite a collection of elephant statues, jewelry and stuffed animals. I think she’s been trying to let us know that she’s rather tired of elephants.
Size 7 double pointed knitting needles. When I organized all my knitting tools a while back, I discovered I had three sets of them. I don’t know why on earth I bought so many of that particular size.
Maybe you thought they’d look good on your hats?
I have several pairs of tweezers, of different styles. Maybe the pointed-tip tweezers and flat-tip tweezers bred to produce the slanted-tip ones.
Tins of pipe tobacco.
I enjoy smoking my pipe, but I’m sure have more tobacco than some tobacconists. I guess I know where it comes from–when I visit a tobacconist, and they have some of my favourites, it’s “I’ll have one of those, and one of those and one of those…” and so on; since tinned tobacco blends aren’t often available locally. Add to that the contributions of my wife, who occasionally has to visit Denmark on business (where they make some beautiful pipe tobacco blends), and I won’t need any pipe tobacco until, oh, 2009 or so.
Band aids.
I never seem to run out of them, which is astounding, since my kids are cured by the powers of Curad. I haven’t bought a box in two years and the things just multiply.
Guitars
Empty whiskey bottles
Ex-girlfriends
Although if you talk to 3), they will cite 1) and 2).
I have four copies of ABBA’s ‘Arrival’ album. I can’t remember buying one.
Of course you don’t remember. You couldn’t have been sober.
You’re not trying to tell me every time I hit the turps I’ll end up with another copy? :smack: Actually, I also have two copies of a Paul Robeson album. Both are records (vinyl) not full size 33 1/3 RPM, but the odd thing both have never been played. They are brand new. Again, I have no idea how I got them.
I know that I have kept certain things, but I don’t know why I continue to do so:
Fr’example:
–cardboard boxes, padded envelopes and other mailers. They are piling up in the garage because I like mail order. I do use them on occasion but they keep breeding.
–loose change I find all over the place; I am stashing it away for the CoinStar.
–old address books. Why is my new one not good enough?
–calendars. I’m not the only one. Charities and others keep giving them to me.
Enough already.
Windchimes?
I must have more coasters than anyone alive. I usually get a couple from my local bar that I like. Over the years, I’ve accumulated hundreds. Yet, I rarely change the ones I use around the house.
70 page spiral notebooks. Every year just before school starts you can find them for less than 10¢ each. This past August I bought about 40 of them. And I already have well over 100 in my closet.
And you can never have too many tools. I have at least 20 phillips screwdrivers but there are 6 different sizes and each has it’s own purpose. And that doesn’t include the bits I use with my drill. I have about 30 different lengths and styles. I even have 4 Reed-Prince phillips bits.