Things You Shouldn't Need To Tell People

I just rode one of the local bicycle trails yesterday, and it seemed like the pedestrians have gotten worse since the pandemic. If you’re walking, stay to the right, and keep your dogs close.

Used baby wipes do not go in the plastic recycling.

If you have to vomit, tell me to stop the motorcycle and take off your helmet. Please.
And do it soon and fast.

If you are shopping for someone else, please find out which of the 9 million different kinds of spaghetti sauce they want before you get to the store.

If you have to call them to find out which kind of spaghetti sauce they want because you didn’t ask and never knew there were 9 million different kinds until you got to the spaghetti sauce aisle, please move your cart over to the side so that you’re not blocking the whole aisle with your spaghetti sauce negotiations and pissing off the rest of us who know what we want but can’t get it around you.

On a related note, if you’re in the grocery store blocking a whole aisle while on your phone because you need to negotiate world peace right there in Food Lion’s pasta aisle, the correct response to someone behind you who keeps saying “excuse me! can I just get past you!” is NOT to hold up one finger and keep gabbing away.

If the LAPD says their bomb truck is plenty strong, don’t believe them!

It’s a fair cop.

Forks, too.

Or in the toilet.

Here’s one people ask all the time “does your dog bite?”

I’ve always responded with “my dog has not bitten anyone to date, but she has teeth and shes a dog with teeth. My purpose when I adopted Miss Boo was successful training for my personal protection, companionship and property protection.”

“Miss Boo will as necessary bite anyone and hold you should you pose a significant threat to me.”

When I was little my dad said “if it’s got teeth it can bite you.”

One of my pet peeves is friends and family who feed my animals. You out of respect should always ask me first. My answer will be no.

And the opposite: food does not last indefinitely, especially dairy and meat. Yes you should throw out that milk that is three weeks past its expiration date.

Do you have a ‘reum’?

Pre-pandemic I had our three dogs on leashes at the marina, heading toward our pontoon boat. A woman with kids asked, as she and her horde approached, “do your dogs like kids?”

I replied, “No”.

She glared at me as I walked away. Would she rather I’d lied and someone got hurt? (although in reality I was lying a bit and I was just in a hurry).

“Deep fried in batter!”

I’ll let myself out.

@scottr, welcome to the board.

“Yes, but I don’t.”

BINGO (was his name, oh)

Another one family and friends always ask me, "can you move that, I don’t want my kid to break it.

I am not going to rearrange my kitchen, living room and bathroom, you’re his mother and that’s your job as his mother.

I see people who just don’t teach children how to be behave in other people homes. I guess because they say “well he’s a kid that’s what kids do. Matt didn’t mean to break it.”

Please teach your children not to run around people’s houses picking things up with out asking first.

When you go are in my home with your kids pay attention to what they are doing. If you can’t or don’t want to make arrangements for your kid when visiting.
Tell your kid to wash his hands before eating and when snot is running down his nose have Kleenex or ask for something to wipe his nose with.

Another thing when you and your child are finished eating. Please wash your hands. If not I’m going to say something. Grrrrr. I have no problem handing you or your kid a bottle of Windex and a rag to clean up the bbq sauce or whatever sticky crap off the surfaces when we you are not paying attention.

I see that the USA has made the transition to an urban culture



And don’t eat while you are on the phone. Especially salad and crunchy vegetables.

Yes, that’s irritating. Another one I’ve heard is when they say the number to you out of whack with the expected grouping of numbers: Area code…exchange…last four. So instead of one two three…short pause… four five six… short pause… seven eight nine ten, they’ll say something like one two… short pause… three four five… short pause… six seven… short pause… eight nine ten.

I almost fall to the floor it sounds so nonrhythmic.

If you want to borrow something that doesn’t belong to you, ask first. If you don’t ask, at least have the decency to put it back where you got it from.

Learn to deal with the world as it is, not the world as you would wish it to be.

Cheese lasts more or less for ever. Cheese does not go off - it has gone off already, that’s why it’s cheese. If it hadn’t gone off it would be milk.


(BTW - the cheese thing - joking :wink: Plus, I have to confess, it absolutely does not last foe ever in our house.)