Ditto on that. And what I suppose goes along with it, I wish I had been taught how to make friends, and how to ask a girl out, have a girlfriend–you know, the whole love/sex/dating/relationships thing. My parents were long past that part of their life, and I didn’t have any older brothers or sisters or anyone else like that around to learn from. From what I have learned from my parents, I could probably do a pretty good job at being married–if I could ever find someone to marry.
But all through the time I was growing up, there never seemed to be any expectation, from parents, peers, or anyone else, that I ought to be socializing, dating, having girlfriends, etc. My aloneness got treated as normal–as though of course no girl would be interested in me.
I never learned how to ask a girl out, what to say, how to tell who was available or who, if anyone, might be at all interested. I never learned the proper procedures and rules and customs for dating or getting involved with girls, in high school, college, and on through life. I felt like I must have been absent the day they explained it all. So it wasn’t until I was 28 that I had my first girlfriend. Hell, I’m still pretty clueless even today.
First and foremost, proper nutrition. I’m one of those people who, if she doesn’t check it on a website or something first, honestly doesn’t know what constitutes a healthy meal. I mean…when I try to be healthy, the meal consists of like, sliced cucumbers, ham cubes or small bits of grilled chicken, and bread. Maybe an apple.
Also, I wish my parents had taught me how to look for a job. They never really bothered. They just started nagging me in high school, so I had to figure it out for myself. I’m still figuring it out. Along with that, I wish they’d told me what proper attire was for various occaisions (such as job interviews).
Definitely financial stuff. The best way to save for a house. How to pay my taxes. How insurance works. What to invest in. I’ve had to learn all this stuff the hard way, and I’m still fuzzy on a lot of it.
On the other hand, my parents were great at teaching me most other practical stuff. From age ten or so, my mom would have me help her cook and clean and do basic household repairs. Manners were also a big deal. At the time, it wasn’t always fun, but I really appreciate it now.
Wow. This is a great thread for helping me see what I’m doing right as a parent, and therefore what my parents also did right.
The only thing my parents really fell short of was the financial guidance thing. I don’t know if they figured, “heck, they’re girls, they’ll get married” or what, but beyond “Get a job”, there wasn’t much. I was in my mid-30’s before I realized I needed to save for retirement and that maybe buying a house would be a good idea. But then, my parents divorced when I was 12 so maybe that stuff fell by the wayside.
Other than that, I cook, clean, had proper hygiene drummed into head, social skills, all the rest. My two (one teen, one pre-teen) sons cook and clean, have hygiene and interpersonal skills AND have bank accounts. We talk about everything to do with finances and especially getting into the tough Toronto housing market, and we have a plan for them in place.
As a bonus, I have respect for how hard it can be to teach kids without making them feel like idiots. Also how hard it is to just let them do it so they can figure out “their best way”. I appreciate my parents so much more for their efforts now, than I could when I was a kid.
