Things you've seen that actually made your jaw drop.

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was walking on campus one day with a friend. About 20 feet in front of us was another guy walking. I go to an urban school and there are pigeons all over the place. Well there was a pigeon ahead in front of this guy. We are walking along and out of nowhere, this guy steps up and kicks this bird really hard! Like he was kicking a field goal! This was so unexpected that my friend and I just stopped and stood there with our mouths agape. I still can’t believe that I actually saw that happen. It was so wierd.

Anybody have any similar stories? Where your jaw literally dropped and you stood there like a doofus trying to comprehend what you just saw.

2

First date. We’re driving down the street and he’s spewing venom about how every Ni__er on the planet needs to die and so forth, and then proceeds to RUN OVER TURTLES THAT ARE CROSSING THE ROAD! I had him drop me at my house, a few blocks away. Lose my number! Asshole!

3

If you’ve ever seen the hunks of tire tread on the shoulder of the road and wondered how they got there: I was cruising along the beltway heading south towards the Potomac about ten years ago. Ahead there was a semi, and all of a sudden this huge band of tire tread (a re-tread?) flies out from under his rig straight up into the air. It climbed in slow motion, apparently hovered, and started its way back down to earth. It must have been 50’ in the air. Other cars noticed this, and everyone shifted positions ever so slightly so no one got hit. That hunk of tread landed on the shoulder. It was about 8 feet long. I think about that every time I pass a truck: ‘if one of those treads were to give way NOW I’d be a goner.’

4

I taught private preschool in a well-to-do community in California, where it was not unusual to have 40-something women bring in a two or three year old first child for a get-to-know-you visit. One such woman brought in her adorable,pouty,4yo,dressed to kill. While her darling rocketed around the playground with the other 30 kids, Mom sits and chats with us staff. Darling runs on up and says “I’m thirsty! I want neenee!” Wherein Mom pulls up her blouse to her neck and Darling promptly latches on. Amid our collective dropped jaws, Mom says “I don’t have anymore milk, but she still likes to suckle.”

5

Cyn, that is horrible.

A few years ago a friend and I were walking through Overton Square in Memphis and we saw a man bleeding from the face and head. The blood was pouring out, so we ran over and figured out pretty quickly that he was homeless. I think he said that someone beat him up and took his money.

But when he regained some composure and looked up at us, we saw that he meant to play off the injuries, as here are two college chicks fretting over him. He says to us, while the blood is still running down his face, “So what are you ladies doing this evening?”

I say, “Um, there’s still blood all over your face.”

He proceeds to cough up a big, slimy one into his hand and rub it all over his face. I think that the snot was a water-substitute? The public restroom, complete with running water, was ten feet away and was just too far to walk, I guess.

We freaked out and walked very, very quickly away…

6

This actually happened to a friend of mine. She had to go to jail for a weekend for DUI. We’re in Chicago, and Cook County jail is notorious for being really scary and tough. She figured she would do better if she copped an “emotional illness” plea so she would end up in the hospital portion of the jail. So she gets in there and introduced herself to another girl on the ward, and the girl hiked up her skirt and took a dump on my friend’s bed. She slept on the floor in a corner for the remainder of the weekend.

7

This story might be to graphic for IMHO, but I’ll try to be as genteel in the telling as possible.

I was a little nervous when I met my college boyfriend’s family for the first time, I was 20 years old. We meet the parents for dinner at a restaurant. They seem nice enough, and I begin to feel more at ease.

Then the father says “so what was it that first attracted you to M.?”

I think about this for a moment and say, “I think it was that M. is always so confident and sure of himself.”

And the father beams, and says, “do you know why that is?”

And I say “no.” And the father says … I kid you not …

“That’s because when he was conceived, his mother and I were engaging in intercourse in the doggy style position!”

My jaw just dropped, even as I was thinking that I must have heard him incorrectly. But no, he went on and on, describing the sex act in intimate detail, and explaining how the exact position determines the baby’s personality. To make it even weirder, if that’s possible, he kept switching between clinical terms and porn lingo to describe the positions in question. He must have mistaken my look of abject horror for confusion, because he then started using his hands like little puppets to illustrate various sex positions.

He would occasionally gesture towards his wife, who was absent-mindedly sucking down a martini and gazing off into the distance, and say something like “so then, Mrs. B. had her legs wrapped around my waist …”

The boyfriend and I didn’t date much longer after that.

8

:eek:

And to think, when I saw the title of the thread, I was just going to reply with “The light saber battle at the end of The Phantom Menace.” Obviously, I am both a geek and sheltered.

9

I went camping with some friends. One couple that I had recently met had a daughter about 5 years old. They encouraged this little girl to pull down her panties in public and pee just anywhere and around anyone. I finally asked the mother why she allowed this and I was told that they wanted her to be comfortable about her body. I am not a prude but there are too many weirdos in the world who like little girls in an inappropriate way for me to consider this a good thing for a little girl to do. BTW, this couple were ex-hippies.

10

Jeez delphica! That’s unbelievable, it seems so surreal.
What the hell is a person supposed to say in that
situation, my mouth would probably lose the ability to form
words at that point.

11

When I was about 12 or 13, I was over at my buddy’s house who had this hot older sister who was like 15 or 16 or something and her friend were there. She was kind of into me and I thought she was a babe.

Well for some reason, we were playing Monopoly on the floor. I was sitting right in front of her and my friend was sitting next to her and the other girl was in front of him.

So we are playing monopoly and I am just sitting in front of my friend’s hot sister check out her boobs and stuff. She was wearing one of those halter top things and some really short shorts.

As we are playing, my friend leans over to his sister and says, “What’s this?”, she had a white string popping out of her real short shorts. before she could say anything or do something about the string, my friend gave it a nice yank, and out popped a bloody tampon!!!

to say the least, that was the end of our Monopoly game, and my lust for his sister. The funny thing is when he pulled it out, he got all freaked out and dropped the bloody tampon on the community chest.

blade

12

My college roommate last year, we’ll call him Casey. The poor guy had tourette’s syndrome, an insanely unhealthy relationship with his mother and stepfather, friends who stole from him, an unappealing stench 5 days out of 7, etc. etc.

Anyway, my computer was in our room. One day I’m at the computer while he’s still in bed, but awake. He pulls the covers over his head, as he was wont to do. After a minute, I look over and realize that he is quite obviously masturbating. I’m not talking about some half-hearted mid-morning pud-pull, either – he’s really going at it. Before I can decide to storm out, he finshes with a flourish. Now I want to know how he’s going to dispose of the, er, evidence. I can see his hand, under the covers, move from his crotch up to his face, followed by a reasonably loud slurping sound.

Now, I’ve seen enough porn in my day not to be disturbed by the act itself. What bothered me was how astoundingly rude this was. I’m quite certain my mouth was agape as he wrapped things up.

I wasn’t going to mention anything, hoping it was just a one time thing where he stupidly thought he was being stealthy. Then he did it again a week later (I muttered, “Jesus Fucking Christ” loud enough for him to hear and slammed the door as I left, this time). I had a little talk with him. (He denied everything rather weakly, to which I replied, “Yeah, whatever, just don’t jerk off while I’m in the room please.”)

I’ve got lots of Casey stories. . .

13

more, varlosz, more! (wiping drpepper from his monitor)

14

Most of the stories in this thread…
:eek:

I remember my jaw dropping when I walked past someone in school, and then spun around. He had a SNAKE wrapped around his shoulders! (For the record, I am rabidly, insanely ophidiophobic).

15

I used to work in a pizza place and so we had a lot of little kids come and go. Well one time this couple came in with a little girl, maybe 4 or 5 years old. The little girl had a PEIRCED nose, eyebrow, and four earrings in each ear. I could not believe that any parent in their right mind would let a little kid get that many peircings. It blew me away. The parents explained that they believed that children should be able to freely express themselves. Somehow how I don’t think this means getting them every peircing that this little girl decides, on some whim, that she wants. This girl alot had one inch long acrylic nails. jeesh.

16

but I had something happen that made mine about come unhinged.

Many moons ago, and I do mean MANY MOONS, when I was a teenager, my sister was dating this guy that everyone thought was kinda weird, but ok…tolerable. We went on several double dates together and pretty soon nobody really paid any attention to his “strangeness”, mild as it seemed.

Anyway, he seemed to really want to be friends with my then-boyfriend. Was always trying to buddy up to him and things like that. One day he invited Bob and me over to his house (my sister wasn’t there at this time) to watch a football game. We agreed, even though Bob wasn’t real keen on him, but hey, he had a color tv, and I didn’t, so we went. (God, stop laughing…not everybody had color tv growing up!)

We get over there, and Weirdo rushes out, just all hopped up and excited we’re even there, practically rolls out a red carpet. He escorts us inside, and we found ourselves suddenly in Southern Hell.

There were enormous posters and pictures of KKK lynchings, and horrible depictions of blacks and Jews being murdered and tortured everywhere, in just about ALL of this house. I mean REAL pictures. Not just cartoons or drawings. The whole damn house was something out of a nightmare. There were KKK outfits lying on a heap on the dining room table, there were stacks and stacks of literature and pictures everywhere. His uncle was there with him and his MOTHER…both just about to bust with pride over this shit. It looked worse than any horror house at any carnival I have ever seen. My boyfriend was completely flipped out, and I thought I was going to have a stroke right there in the living room.

Weirdo then launches into his spiel of trying to CONVERT US. He is talking so frantically that I was convinced he was a lunatic. He sounded almost evangelical, as ridiculous as that may seem. He was almost BEGGING my boyfriend to join the Klan, saying what an asset he’d be to “the cause”, and how much more of a man it would make him, etc. His undcle was backing him up step for step, and his mother was doing her dead-level best to get ME in on this little slice of horror.My stomach was turning. Bob was actually terrified, as well.

Needless to say, as diplomatically as we could,(mainly because we were both afraid this guy would kill us if we acted any more nervous than we were, and he’d shown us several guns, too) we declined the generous offer, and got the fuck out of there. I have never wanted to leap through a plate glass window so bad in my life. We made our way to the car, went straight back to my house, and I never saw him again. Neither did my sister, after my boyfriend threatened to strangle her if she so much as spoke to him again.

My mother didn’t believe us at first. She simply couldn’t believe it. She thought we were high. I wish I HAD been.

The last I heard, Weirdo was killed in a car accident about 12 years ago. And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

17

I’ve Seen that happen…Put a sewage plant in my pants

In a similar vein…I was driving South on I-95 through Maryland and I was crossing the Susquahanna River Bridge. The bridge was being repaired and southbound traffic was diverted to a single lane and demarcated by large orange barrels. The construction speedlimit was 40mph but everyone (including ME, stupidly) was travelling at about 70-75. The 18-wheeler in front of me gets a bit too close to one of the barrels and Smack! the barrel is knocked off it’s base and bounces off the ouside concrete wall then back towards the lane of travel and proceedes to get caught in the wake of the Rig and the tremendous Cross winds the Bridge is subject too…It sort of hovers in the vortex of air along side the truck and at about 6 feet off the ground it gracefully drifts over the top of my car and drops in behind me right in front of a Jeep Cherokee and lands smack in the center of the lane…It bounced up and out of the way fortunately…I don’t think I was able to breathe right for about the next five miles

Oh Yeah, and I don’t speed in construction zones anymore.

Sorry, No Klansman, No overly pierced kids, no Scatalogy or Sex…Put 'em all together and that’d make my jaw drop…Plus it’d headline on the Jerry Springer show.

18

Summer of 1972(?) 1973(?) You’ll see why I’m hazy in a moment. I’m working as a DJ in Watkins Glen NY when the Summer Jam rock festival takes place: 750,000 I-missed-Woodstock-but-not-THIS-one hippies show up in a teentsy town which can handle about 75,000 in race season. Morning of the festival, I get up and drive, with my local press pass, to within 200 feet of the stage. I am quickly drafted into temporary crowd control because the crowd is threatening to take down the storm fence around “backstage” and if that happens, the bands (Grateful Dead, The Band, and the Allman Brothers) will leave and then we will have a SERIOUS riot on our hands.

Shelley Finkel, concert promoter, calls Rochester or Buffalo and gets them to helicopter in off-duty cops. Who arrive in full riot gear. Whoops! BAD VIBES. Shelley rushes them into a trailer and persuades them (I can’t imagine how much $$$$ this took) to take off their helmets, uniform shirts, and WEAPONS and leave them in the trailer with one cop to guard them. He equips them with Festival Security T-shirts with a rose, a skull, and a marijuana leaf on the front. Picture this: forty-five giant, rum-blossom-nosed Irish cops wearing T-shirts with Mary Jane on them.

Anyway, at least I no longer have to Guard the Perimeter. So, as I get down from the storm fence, I see this guy running-- no, loping, BOUNDING really-- through the crowd. He grabs a tent flap pole and stops, and I realize that he’s

a) stark naked, and
b) missing one leg from just above the knee.

Here’s a social note: Beyond a certain point of social outrageousness, you are Invulnerable. In other words, you just can’t arrest a naked, one-legged man who won’t even use a crutch. After a while he was rested enough and just leaned forward and started hopping off into the crowd.

19

Geez! The Nazi post scared the crap outta me!

Okay, so we’re up in the mountains at a picnic. Everyone is smokin’ herb and drinking beers and there’s about a million little kids around (early '70s) and it’s pretty hot out. This one guys sits down and (brace yourselves) TOOK HIS LEGS OFF! Nobody told me he had two prosthetic limbs, and I just thought the guy had a bit of a limp. The children in the group FREAKED OUT and started running all over the place screaming! Then he showed a few of the more brave kids the legs up close, and they all came back and thought he was the coolest guy on earth, cuz he could remove his legs.

20

Oh my god, this thread is a jaw droppper.
I was going to mention a few years ago when I was a junior in high school. For the record, I’m one of those gay, sheltered, black kids who had no idea how things were outside his computer. (Sadly, I’m still that way!)

Anyway, someone set their CD player infront of me and told me to watch it. For some reason, I had gotten accustomed to being the ‘Watcher of Other People’s things’ back then. Well, I took it upon myself to put the headphones on my head and I turned on the CD…

Well, at first, it was rap and I was never into rap. (Well other than Nas – but that was more of a physical thing back then. heh) Then, suddenly, in my switching through the channels there was this song from ** Lil’ Kim’ ** called “Not Tonight”. I was breathing hard, fell out my chair, hands over my mouth trying to keep my composure. The lyrics were THAT intense.

I don’t think nothing ever in my life has given me such a shock and completely turned upside down my world. Needless to say, I went out and bought her CD a few weeks after. I’m telling ya, when you’re gay and surrounded by people who you don’t think understand how you feel about certain things, there isn’t nothing like listening to Lil’ Kim to ease that.

I guess the shocker was that all my life I’ve always heard rap artist (The reason it turned me off) talk about having sex with a woman, wanting, desiring, cheating, killing, or otherwise lusting after a female. For an artist, like Lil’ Kim to turn it around and actually highlight males as something attractive and desirable blew me away.