Remember that Goober Jelly stuff–that mixture of peanut butter and grape jelly in one jar? Well, for all you pie lovers, there’s new taste treat:
Placenta Peach.
CHERRY Pie.
CHERRY.
[Well, Lemon Meringue is good, too–and Mincemeat is good, but not an every day pie.]
Cherry is the thing.
Of. Course.
Sorry, little buddy, here in the good ole, God fearing U S of A PIE ARE ROUND. Pervert!
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
This is the dumbest thread I have ever seen, except that dumb thread in my shirt that keeps on coming out.
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You are just WRONG!
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Esprix, whose co-workers are now wondering why iced tea just came flying out of his nose like that…
Send it to a nice support group, and above all, be supportive of its choice of pies!
Esprix
Listen up, you anti-pie, baby-hating bigots, I have had it with your so-called “sensitivity” to those whose pie orientations differ from yours! Why on earth would you choose to like lemon merangue when there was a whole world of chocolate mousse out there? I mean, come on! Think, people!
And that’s not even the issue at hand - there was a time when one could not even eat the pie of ones choosing in the privacy of ones own home! What is wrong with this country where peaceful, honest people can’t even use whipped toppings without interference from big government, religion, and Dr. Laura? I say, keep your laws out of my kitchen! And off my stove! Or oven! You know what I mean!
REBOLUTION!
Esprix, who is still wondering, “Won’t someone please think of the children?!?!”
Write this down:
Lemon Meringue Pie has no inherent qualities save for comedic slapstick effects.
We’ve got a serious discussion going here, and resent this kind of sillification. It serves only to cheapen our efforts.
You disgusting, evil pie eaters! I hope you all rot in the stinky pits of hell!
ARG - Just stick with cherry cheese cake (yum) and Jesus will welcome you home with open arms.
Pardon me while I burst into flames.
Gee, Esprix, that’s a far cry from what you said to me on page 1. And, I quote:
**
So, which is it Esprix? Do you embrace apple pie lovers or dispise them? Do you accept and ‘celebrate’ others for their differences, or are you a closet piephobic? Are you an apple lover or a chocolate lover? You’re waffling and that cannot be tolerated when discussing a subject as sensitive as this.
Agisofia—I don’t think anyone on this board seriously advocates “killing children!” Now, aborting fetuses, on the other hand, I don’t have any problem with.
And cheese on pies? Urgh! Reason totters on its throne!
In Libertaria, you can eat any kind of pie you want! So long as your pie doesn’t violate the One Law Of Libertaria.
- Libertarian (or an impersonator thereof)
I think we need a constitutional amendment against Apple Pie burning! For those of us who love Apple Pie, it is an insensitive and offensive act to burn one.
Your Quadell, unfortunately taking it even farther.
TV did preach thusly:
Ah, another follower of the true path of apple pies! Though you forgot that the cheese must be sharp…none of that mild stuff.
Ice Cream does have its place…with Apple Crisp, not Apple Pie.
—Goes to make his homemade vanila mint pudding pie. (The proper use of Thin Mint cookies, crumbcrust for a pudding pie.)
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes
Uh… uh… uh… {tugging at collar}
GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN! Your bewitching ways will not confuse those of us who follow The Truth Path of Inherently Correct Piedom!
Esprix
I didn’t forget Key Lime Pie but it is so rarely that I feel worthy to worship in the inner sanctum of Pie that I feared to mention its Hallowed Name among the profane.
I pray that Key Lime Pie will accept me as an acolyte and deem me worthy to worship on a regular basis.
Key Lime Pie is all forgiving and all loving but is not a Pie for the profane who approach it with the idea of “eating a piece of pie.”
All Hail Key Lime Pie!!! Fail at your peril!
Crystalguy
AMEN, Brother.
Let all of the other common pies fall before the majesty of the Key Lime (Hallowed be its name).
The gentle smoothness, the smooth sharpness, the sharp gentleness.
Have them worship their false pies. But they will come to know, in the fullness of time, the majesty of the Key Lime (Hallowed be its name).
Peace and citrus.
I’m a key lime virgin, I’m afraid
Orangecakes, it’s just my opinion, but you might want to stay a key lime pie virgin. Unless, you can go to Florida and get one made with REAL key limes. After you have one of those, you begin to wonder what crap the rest of the world has been feeding you under the ‘key lime’ moniker.
Certainly, my dear.
I suggest a classic oven-roasted toddler with rosemary.
First of all, you should go to a butcher shop that allows you to pick your toddler live. Choose one that seems sedentary–more tender. Make sure the butcher gives you the giblets in case you want to make gravy.
Stuff the toddler with a classic bread stuffing. Joy of Cannnibalism has some excellent stuffing recipes. Use cotton string to tie the wrists and ankles together to make a compact package that fits in the oven. Rub the skin generously with olive oil, crushed garlic, and rosemary (use fresh if you have it, but dried will do).
Place toddler on a rack in a roasting pan, and roast at 350 for about 15 minutes per pound. A meat thermometer is helpful in assessing done-ness. If you like it rare, I recommend an interior temperature of 140 degrees.
Let the toddler rest for 20 minutes or so before carving.
The average toddler should feed more than a dozen people–with leftovers! Yum! Toddler sandwiches for lunch!