Meet me in Key Largo for your Key Lime Pie deflowering ceremony. The ritual involves eating Key Lime Pie on each of the Keys en-route to Key West. After eating Key Lime Pie on Key West, we will attempt to isolate the single best Key Lime Pie. After that, we will begin our journey back to Key Largo, eating Key Lime Pie on each of the Keys. Well, we have to be absolutely sure that we were correct in our assesment of the best, don’t we? After the deflowering ceremony, you will wonder why you held on to your Key Lime Pie virginity as long as you did. You will, however, continue to advise others to hold on to theirs because you will not want to introduce others to the delights of Key Lime Pie debauchery, thereby diluting the pool of available Key Lime Pie.
For goodness sakes, you left some important steps out! You have to hollow out the toddler to make the stuffing, and remove the eyes and the top of the skull before cooking—do you have any idea what a mess you’d have if they exploded in your oven?
I have a good recipe for toddler stuffing, if anyone’s interested . . .
Oh, sorry. I assumed that Valerie was familiar with the basic steps of toddler preparation. Your point is well taken.
Just taking off the top of the skull doesn’t work for me. I find that I have to take the head off and put it in a separate pan, because that is the only way I can fit it in my oven.
Oh, if it were roasted Wally, it would be a very different recipe. By the time they get to be grown-ups, you really should to hang 'em and age 'em before you eat them. Most people don’t have room to do this in their homes. Also, a whole roast Wally would be pretty unwieldly. I recommend Wallysteaks. Go to a good butcher or an up-scale supermarket, and you should find them.
You can prepare a Wallysteak in the same way as beef. I recomend the tenderloin done on the grill. Marinate with a little soy sauce and pepper before you cook it. That cut is best eaten very rare.
Esprix, chocolate moose is off the subject. Try chocolate toddler. If it’s a little difficult to whip the toddler into the chocolate, you might just want to try chocolate covered toddler. Yum!
I’m sorry, Minxsmom, but I am against doing anything gently with a toddler. I find whipping works best. If it doesn’t solve the problem at hand, at least you have the satisfaction of feeling you’ve done something positive!
I would strongly recommend against any recipe that calls for whipped toddlers. In each U.S. State there are laws against whipping children. Making Toddler Mousse, tasty as it may be, will put you at serious risk of violation of child abuse laws. And let me tell you, there is nothing worse than have the child welfare agents show up just as you are sitting down to a nice Toddler Mousse.
On the other hand, as far as I know, there are no laws against covering toddlers in chocolate. I’d recommend that, instead.
Now that you mention it, I’ve never tasted a nice, juicy Wallyberger. How is it and where can I get one? It just isn’t on the Menu of BurgerKing. Humph, with a name like that you think their menu would be a little more varied as far as burger meat!
