I don’t have anxiety, but I do have low self-esteem. I started a new job as Controller for a small company. I was panicked when I accepted the job because, in my previous accounting jobs, if I made a mistake, there was someone higher up to correct it before the client saw it. Now, if I fuck up, it’s all me and that terrified me (and still does sometimes).
I’ll echo many people here when I say, as long as you didn’t lie during the interview, it won’t be your fault if you screw up. If you’re like me, though, you’ll still doubt yourself. I was thinking, “Well, maybe I exaggerated my skills. How did I get this job?” I was still freaking out about being exposed as a fraud (typical self-esteem issue for me), but I had a performance review at month 3 and they were really happy with me and gave me a raise. So, I’ve realized that in these 9 months, the company hasn’t come crashing down around us and I’ve been doing a good job.
What I’m trying to say is, give yourself time to settle in and find your groove. The better the job and the more responsibilities you have, the longer it takes. Be patient and good luck.
I took a similar plunge about half a year ago (admittedly from another full time programming job): Went from C/C++/PHP on Solaris, Managing a web-programming/scripting team, to writing again, in Java, and on Windows ( :gag: ).
I’ve also become DBA and IT person extraordinaire for this start-up… because I had some knowledge at all in these fields.
It’s actually lots of fun learning new stuff on the job! Especially if your employer realizes you’re learning something new - which they should.
You’ll be OK.
And if you have any problems with Java that scream “someone must have been through this shit before!”, my e-mail address is in my profile (Actually, it’s there even if you just have some general-purpose geek question…). I’ve become quite the Java Guru lately ( or :rolleyes: - I’m not quite sure which applies here…)
Remember, on your firt day on the job, when you first enter the works canteen, stroll up to the hardest looking guy in the place and lay that sucker flat-out. It’ll teach the others that you’re not a push-over and not a man to mess with. (¬_)Just kidding.
I bet you will surprise yourself by just how much you will enjoy your first few weeks on the job. Nothing really bad can come of this situation you are in.
One suggestion from left field: You’re about to experience a change in your life, and any change involves transition which involves anxiety. Even a change that’s all to the good, means some loss of old habits or patterns or whatever, and it’s natural to feel anxiety about that. Some psychologists liken it to the mourning process, where there’s anger and denial and all that. You’ve got into the habit of being unemployed, and you’ve set up routines and a lifestyle, and some part of you doesn’t want routine upset.
So, it’s normal for you to feel anxiety about an unknown future. Remember that the future is always unknown, and do your best to cope. This is going to be a change for the good, in the long run, even though there may be frustrations or anxieties in the short run. Right?
What medications did you try? How long did you try them? From what I understand, Xanax is addictive; maybe that’s not the best choice. Did your doctor discuss any non-addictive, longer term medications? I know they can mess up your sexual function, but:
A. Sometimes that’s only temporary.
B. Some medications are better than others in that regard, and there are lots of choices.
C. If your panic attacks are as bad as you describe, maybe it’s worth the trade off, at least for awhile until you feel better.
Anxiety is a bitch! It sucks being a logical person and knowing that even tho it is all in your “head” you cant freaking stop it!!! I use to wish I actually had a phyiscal dieases instead of anxiety!! However, I was able to overcome it, since when you get down to it, anxiety is a bitch…but it can’t physically harm you. It just likes to make you think it can!!!
Good thing to try when that heart starts pumping and you begin to feel panicky…a large glass of VERY cold water. Lots of ice and very cold! Slows the heart down and makes you feel better, give it a shot.
I wouldnt worry about the new job all OO languages are the same in theory, its just the wording thats different! Now if you were moving to mainframe world with rexx, jcl, or sas, then yea…I would panic
The best new job advice I’ve ever been given was this:
Allow yourself to make mistakes!
I once had someone give me an enormous number of mistakes that I was allowed to make on my new job. I think it was something like 416. So when I (inevitably) did goof up, I could just say to myself, “O.K., that’s one, only 415 to go.” By the time I had counted three or four mistakes, I was settled into my job and the anxiety had dissipated.
Of course you want to do a good job, and that should be your goal. But if you go into a new job thinking that you’re going to get everything right the first time, you’re bound to disappoint yourself and feel like a failure. Things will go wrong – you will misunderstand instructions, people will assume you know procedures that you’ve never heard of before, you’ll ask the wrong person for information, etc. All of these things are perfectly normal, and don’t mean that you’re not competent. Be aware of that, and your anxiety will be reduced.
My company recently went through major layoffs. I spent months worrying about losing my job. As it turned out, I wasn’t layed off, I was moved to a new job in a new department. Like you, I felt that that should be a good thing, and that my anxiety should be reduced. Instead it jumped dramatically. But I’ve given myself another 416 mistakes, and I think I’ve only made about six so far. Allowing myself to make them has made it much easier to let them go.
I think all of the other advice given has been excellent; I just want to add a warning about exercise. In my quest to relieve my anxiety I went a little too heavy on the exercise, and ended up throwing out my back (taking two sick days in my second week on the job – now there’s a good mistake). So use exercise, just make sure that you do it sensibly and pay attention to the other stresses on your body.
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. It was greatly appreciated.
I avoided this thread the weekend, in an attempt to get my mind off my worries. It helped (along with a xanax or three). I also went canoeing with a friend on the Loxahatchee river Saturday, which was exactly what i needed.
Now that I’ve had my first day, and know more of what is expected of me, I see it’s going to be OK. Now I’m worrying about the company doing the standard dot-com thing and tanking, but that’s not going to keep me up at night, since it’s pretty much out of my hands.
Congrats on your first day, RevTim. I hope to see your mug on the cover of Time Magazine one day with the caption, “The man who single-handedly saved dot com.”
As quite a few people have mentioned, you don’t have too much to worry about. If you’re skilled in programming, picking up almost any new programming language is quite easy.
A couple of years ago, I applied for a job tutoring first year programming students. When I applied, they asked if I could use Delphi (which uses the Object Pascal language). I’d never used Delphi before - when I did that course it was in C, and C’s syntax is very different from that of Object Pascal. Nevertheless, I lied and said I could. I managed to pick up the language fast enough to teach it. So I ended up with a great part-time job as well as knowledge of a new programming environment.
About the only exception is if you’re facing a major paradigm shift. If you’re moving from an ‘imperative’ language (such as C) to a ‘declarative’ language (such as Prolog), then you have reason to be worried.
That Xanax will bite you in the butt if you are not careful. After a while (several months), it actually causes anxiety, much worse than what you had to begin with. It is such a short-acting anxiolytic that after 3-4 hours, your symptoms can rebound much worse, which makes it very tempting to take more. The more frequently you take it, the worse the rebound. Before I detoxed, I was taking 6-7 milligrams *per day * just to keep my anxiety down to just below excrutiating. Benzodiazepines are a lousy way to treat anxiety, and your doctor is doing you a great diservice if he prescribes them for more than a few weeks.
Well, beyond that really bad time last weekend, I never take more than one (I think .5 mg) a day, and never two days in a row (again, with the exception of last weekend.)
Paxil, Effexor, and I think one other failed to anything for me, and neither did therapy, so I just have to live with it and occasionally take a Xanax when things are really bad.
(Actually, it’s there even if you just have some general-purpose geek question…). I’ve become quite the Java Guru lately (
Allowing myself to make them has made it much easier to let them go.