We’ve had discussions before of poker players who make poor plays. But this story takes the grand prize.
So there I was ™, out with ScubaBigBro last night at a friendly game of Texas Hold-Em. The host “N” had invited his neighbor “F” to join the game. Over the course of the evening, F’s behavior suggested that he knew very little about playing poker. His main issues were not playing close attention to the game – we had to keep reminding him when it was his turn to bet – and holding his cards underneath the table, far away from his body. In fact, the players next to F (who were N and ScubaBigBro) periodically told F that they could see his cards. Other people observed that F had been drinking a lot of hard booze during the evening.
After a few hours, I had a fairly large pile of chips, and I was dealt Q9 of Hearts. That’s a halfway decent hand, so I bet moderately. Two other people stayed in: F and one other. (There may have been others, but they dropped out of the hand later on). The flop showed AK of Spades and an odd club. OK, three to a straight, I’m still in, and so are the other two people. The turn was 10 of Spades. Now there was inevitable chatter about a possible Royal Flush. (Note for non poker players: A Royal Flush is the highest ranking poker hand, consisting of AKQJ10 of the same suit. The odds of being dealt a Royal Flush are about once in the combined lifetimes of the players present.) I’m now looking at four to a straight, so I stay in, as do the other two people.
And on the river: Jack of Spades, four to a Royal Flush showing on the board. Now people start talking specifically about what if someone held the Queen of Spades. The other person and I both bet quite a bit, and F folds. I admit to holding a Queen, although off-suit. The other person shows their hand – two small spades, beating me with their flush. Oh well, that’s the way the game’s played.
Then N admits to having seen F’s cards earlier in the hand, and flips up F’s folded hand. F held a junk card, and the missing Queen of Spades. That’s right people, after everybody’s chatter about a possible uber-monster hand, and naming the exact card to claim it, F was so inattentive and/or drunk that HE FOLDED A MADE ROYAL FLUSH!!! :smack: :smack:
The consensus opinion was that being drunk, inexperienced, and/or simply not paying attention was no excuse for folding the one card that everybody was hoping out loud to see.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the evidence clearly shows that the defendant was too out of it to play poker for any stakes whatsoever. The prosecution rests.