Well, this is new. I just found out the man who wants to win my heart is engaged.
Anyone remember the thread I started a while back about finding the perfect man? About that guy named Geddy? Well, it’s a LOOOONG story, but I met all of his band member, and one of them started falling for me. I found out quickly that Geddy was a sexist and would for some reason rather have internet girls than me. So, I still hung out with the guys because they were very interesting. And look what happened.
Dan, the bass and electric guitar player, started hanging out with me a lot. He is only mediocre good looking, and he is… 26. WAY to old for my 18 year old self. Like Geddy, he has a poor job at a restaurant and lives in his car. I didn’t care, he was my friend. We went for walks together, he came to my HOUSE for Christ’s sake, he came to my school for senior prank, and I even lent him my Rune symbol “success” necklace. Big mistake. I was kind of liking him. I even had a few brief fantasies about you know, kissing him.
Long story short, I let him view some of my romantic writings on my webpage. I even put them in a special section for him. He loved them, and offered to make my fantasies come true… I was a little frightened of him at this point. If that isn’t a neon sign saying he liked me, I don’t know what is. I politely told him no, via email. I was at senior retreat with my friends, and they sort of made me call him via cell phone to tell him to stay out of my pants. Big mistake again. I got Geddy on the phone, was very “rude” with him (I can’t speak on phones, I always mess up and sound rude) and accidentally hung up because my friend’s phone’s signal cut out. (We were in the middle of nowhere.) Dan sent me a SCATHING email saying he took my rudeness as a personal insult, and I would be sorry I turned him down when he became famous.
Today I went to the library, and Geddy, the guy I used to like, told me that I was very intrusive, he said to stay away from Dan because he was engaged (he has already been engaged 6 times before- he obviously has some trouble with commitment) and just go away. It was all I could do to not break down in tears. I have just lost three friends whom I really liked, and a man who liked me. Was it my fault?
Here is the letter to dan, censored of course, since I’m not sure what language you can use around here…
Dear Dan,
I am sending this email 3 times to make sure that you get it. If they email doesn’t go through or you don’t read it I will @@@@ing print it out and deliver it personally. I told you not to !!! with my temper.
First: How DARE you make advances at me, you %%%%ING BETRAYING engaged PSYCHOTIC. You have pretty much cheated on your fiancee. You have lied to both of us. You don’t deserve her. You deserve no one. You lied to me, you carried on like you had no one else to care for in the world. You have deeply hurt both of us. I’m not so angry that you are engaged, I don’t want a romantic relationship with you anyway. I told you I didn’t want it. It was YOUR &&&&ing idea and now you are hopefully feeling the pain. I turned down YOUR advances, and always remember that you ****ing moron. I feel sick to my stomach about all the time that I spent with you, and that I even showed those personal writings of mine to you. You deserve to not even be near anyone. Imagine if I had fallen for you- do you have any idea how DEVASTATED I would be? Do you have any ((((ing IDEA how fragile the human heart is? You are no different than the rest of all the men who have ever liked me.
Second: I don’t know WHAT the &&&& Geddy told you about that phone call, but I was calling to tell you to stay out of my pants. Whatever Geddy thinks he can shove up his a$$. Geddy can fuck off too for all I care. He’s a sexist pig. He told me to stay away from you today. He says I am disrupting your band and that I am intrusive. He can just DIE for all I care. Both of you can. I was trying to be a friend because I thought you guys NEEDED one. Geddy says he doesn’t like what I am doing to you because you are easily distracted. I want you to tell him that have a relationship with you was YOUR FUCKING IDEA. I want him to get his ^^^^ing story straight about who was trying to seduce who. I have nothing against Chris because he has barely said a word in my presence and therefore I can’t tell if he likes or hates me. And I do still wish success for your band because I can’t be all mean, and I really do think you are good.
Third: That scathing email you wrote me was completely out of line. Just because I turned down kissing you doesn’t give you the write to blow a fucking fuse and throw a fit. YOU ASKED ME AND I SAID NO. You just couldn’t handle it. I guess just one woman isn’t enough for you and you had to have two. I hope you are pleased with yourself. You are just on ####ed-up guy. And I never fucking called you OLD
I wanted to be friends with you. With all of you. But I guess you just couldn’t handle that either. No wonder you have gone through 6 fiancees if you can’t control yourself better. You need help.
Now if you’ll pardon me, I have to break everything within my reach, and then cry. I bet you didn’t even consider my feelings. I have just lost 3 friends whom I liked very much.
Sincerely,
Beth
PS: I want my necklace back, NOW. I don’t care if you just drop it on my doormat. Just give it the hell back now.
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I know you are very hurt right now, but be glad you found out now, at the beginning, what his priorties are. And what he’s truly like.
He’s mean and evil. I never liked him. My mom was right, never date a musician. After you finish breaking stuff, I think you need chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Mends all wounds.
My suggestion would be to be glad you do not have to worry about being Danny’s seventh fiancee and that you found out about both of their short tempers before things got serious with anyone.
If they were willing to give up your friendship so quickly, then they werent real friends, yep its the old cliche, but its true, there are probably hundredsof better people out there who are worth your friendship in a better way…erm get me?
and besides, if he does get famous…you can sell the story how hes an ass to some tabloid! lol
chin up and be happy:)
about your Email…if its not sent…i wouldnt send it…its like you care to much, they may find that amusing… just dont bother give them the time of day cos they certainly dont sound like there worth it!
Hey Merla. Sorry you’re going through this garbage. I’ve been where you are. A few times. It takes a while to learn.
My advice? Stay away from the fellas in the bands. I know they’re damn irresistable, and they tend to have loads of charm and charisma, but it’s safer, and a whole lot less painful. You’re dealing with fellas who have ego enough to want to get on a stage, play their songs to folks who think they’re witnessing musical genius, and feed off applause. They’ve got all kinds of girls after them, and it’s rare that you’re the only one in their hearts.
Sorry to hear of your bad experience Merla, i hope your getting over it.
As already mentioned, generally speaking, musicians of the rock n roll variety are notorious for this kind of behaviour so you’d be doing yourself a big favour by avoiding them in future.
I wouldn’t exactly say that what happened was entirely your fault, but perhaps you do need to think about how you contributed to this situation happening. You admitted that you were having fantasies about this guy and showing him your romantic writings, so to be fair to him, he probably thought you were interested in taking it further.
I feel kind of bad for ya, Merla, but you’re lucky to learn from this while you’re still young. You’ll be okay soon. There’s plenty of better people for you in this world.
And from now on, remember; you can make a person a better musician, but you can’t make a musician a better person.
No offense but… If I were you, I wouldn’t send the email. It simply has too much of an ‘outraged and immature’ tone to it. I understand you’re angry, but do yourself a favor and forget about the guy. You still have some dignity left it sounds like - May want to try and keep it.
Other than that… Sorry about your bad experience. I’m sure you’ll find someone much better. =)
TOOOO late. I already sent that. I also sent three apology emails for sending that. It’s my quick temper and head strong attitude that made me sent\d it. However I was up until midnight last night typing letters of apology to both Geddy and Dan which I hope I will accept when I see them today. After today I am going to stay away from the library (which is where they hang out) as if my life depended on it.
At least I have another guy I am dating now. He has the personality of a goldfish, but just knowing we are going out keeps my head up.
OK, so you admit being attracted to him and fantasizing about him, and you show him your romantic writings - I can see how he might interpret that as an offer. You should be angry that he accepted it when he’s engaged, as from the rest of this I don’t see why else you should be mad.
OK…You meet this guy Geddy awhile back and you are interested in him, but then your interest switches to Dan. You and Dan hit it off, you present him with a necklace of yours, you have fantasies of kissing him, you show him your romantic writings. We get an idea that maybe these feelings are mutual: he offers to make your fantasies come true. You decline. Then you call him up and tell him to stay out of your pants and (as far as he knows) you hang up on him. As far as I can tell from what you’ve written, you did not call or write to apologize for that. He is, as I would think anyone would expect, hurt and angry, and writes you an angry email, saying you were rude to him and you’ll be sorry some day. Apparently he told his friend Geddy that you’d dumped him in this rude fashion and Geddy called you out about it next time he saw you in the library, told you to stay away from his friend Dan and said Dan is engaged to someone else.
You say you have just lost your best friends and are crying and throwing things. So what do you do about it? You write a furious email to Dan. Still no explanation or apology for the phone call in which you told him to stay out of your pants and (left him with the impression that you’d) hung up on him.
WTF? Why would you expect him to not be hurt and confused and angry? Why are YOU angry? You say he went off on you for declining a kiss, but that isn’t the story that you told: in between you declining a kiss and him sending the angry email, you called him and said “Stay out of my pants” and hung up on him.
And what does his engagement to someone else have to do with anything? (If you were the person to whom he was engaged, THEN anger on your part would make sense. Maybe. Even there it’s a grey area.)
And BTW, who is the third of the three lost friends to whom you refer?
