This is why I don't like you.

I heard a few months back about a website that lets people you give the URL to post anonymously the kinds of things you do that turn people off. For example, one person could write that you need to apply deodorant a little more liberally, another person could write that you are chronically late, etc., etc. Only you see the submissions people make.

Has anyone else heard of this? I’m trying to find the link but don’t even know where to begin.

Moved Cafe Society --> MPSIMS.

I think there are a few sites like that, but here’s one:

These things never work like that. People always use the anonymity to be absolute assholes. Okay, occasionally you get secret admirer notes, too. Or, you find someone like me who went around and specifically tried to make people feel good about themselves.

Unless you’re one of those people with 80 million close associates, I don’t think it would be all that difficult to figure out who sent it, especially if they write more than one or two sentences.

And gee, if someone sent me an anonymous note telling me to wear more deodorant or something that mundane, I’d know they were a huge coward. Hell, I’m usually the guy who pulls people aside and tells them things like that. And if they wanted to go off on what a huge asshole I am, I’d have to wonder about their character, since they’re likely wanting to vent about me in such a negative manner while remaining anonymous about it so that they can remain in my company. If you really feel that hostile about someone, why are you continuing to associate with them?

I can almost understand wanting to use something like that to tell someone that they smell funny or have bad breath, although I agree that ultimately using such a service is pretty cowardly. The thing is, bad hygiene is something that can be objectively verified and also can be corrected by the person in question. Someone might very much appreciate being told that their deodorant doesn’t work, because then they can change (although I’m sure being told does hurt).

Telling someone that you dislike some aspect of their personality is a whole different kettle of fish. Most personality flaws are pretty subjective, and someone you think is a total asshole (or total bore, or total attention whore, or whatever) is likely someone else’s best friend. And most people aren’t likely to substantially change their personality just because you tell them to, so what’s the point? Sending an anonymous note is just trying to get a dig in at them without them having the chance to point out your own flaws in retaliation. It’s incredibly cowardly.

Surely, though, the point isn’t to be able to take cheap digs at other people, but to entice other people into being honest about you for once. Facts about your own flaws can be incredibly hard to obtain: You’re blind to them, and other people are usually way to polite to volunteer such information to your face, much preferring to discuss such delicate matters behind your back, as soon as you’ve left the room. The result is that you can be trapped in a cocoon if obliviousness, perhaps for years, even a lifetime. I’d much rather have someone simply tell me that I need to get some breath mints, or that my jokes aren’t funny, or that I need to stop sneaking those more-obvious-than-I-think peeks at the new intern’s rear end. People are indeed cowards, though, which is why most of them usually won’t tell you a damned thing, even when confronted directly. Maybe if the service is anonymous, people can be tricked into telling you what they actually think of you for once.

This one?


One of the people I told had deodorant issues got kinda pissy about it and complained that he was allergic to deodorant. My next suggestion was that if this was the case, I would appreciate it if he would shower before I gave him long car rides to our game sessions.

Of course, he later wet himself on the back seat of my car - a significant volume of urine that thoroughly saturated the seat, and didn’t say a word.

I don’t know him anymore…

Maybe I’m strange, but I’d prefer someone to point out a blindspot anonymously. I mean, I wouldn’t like it at all–especially if it was a hygiene thing (I know that I have personality flaws, but I like to think I’m on top of personal cleanliness). But if I had to be “pulled aside”, I’d rather not have to face the person. That forces me to have to figure out what to say right then and there and hide my embarrassment from them.

Let me guess, it was a role playing game about being a cat and this was his catlike way of revenge?

I guess before the intranets people were forced to be, well, self aware. And to surround themselves with friends who aren’t afraid to be honest and direct when required. It’s definitely a new world, that’s for sure!

Wow - this is the perfect site for stalking/bullying someone. Nothing but fun there.

Either that, or they were smellier.

No offense, but that would actually creep me out more. I’d think I had a stalker or something.