Ok, this is the internet and for the most part the comments we make on it are pretty Snarky. If someone wears the wrong clothes in public, speaks a sentence awkwardly on camera, or wears white after Labor Day, the comments made can be pretty cutting. Its sometimes meant as humor or as one-upmanship and the dart board goal seems to be to come as close to the line without going over it as possible (or as far over the line as possible with plausible deniability).
My question is about the other end of the spectrum: Complimenting people who you feel deserve it and doing your best to inspire them, but Anonymously. Imagine that there was a website with an anonymous email button that allowed you to send words of encouragement to people who you Really Wish could hear them. For the sake of argument, it could not be corrupted and used for nasty comments or anything obscene, but only for praise and support for people who might or might not be having a bad day or going through a rough life event.
They wouldn’t have to know you for you to use it. It would show up anonymously on their email or phone and they definitely would see it. You could thank a filmmaker or a politician or an activist for a cause or even an everyday hero from the news. You could tell someone who you think needs it that you still believe in them, let them know that you still support them and to “hang in there” because you agree with them and think that they are right.
If there was such a website, would you use it? No names, no I’d tell you-know-who this or that. Just asking… would you use it? Would you inspire people, if you could, totally anonymously with no thought to yourself of fame or notoriety?
Would you take 10 minutes out of your day to try to make someone’s day a little bit better even if you got zero credit for doing so?
Apart from taking the effort and time to do it I don’t really see the downside, though would receiving encouragement from someone anonymous really carry much weight? Whats to stop it simply being sent out by the equivalent of a chatbot?
Yes, but I have to say I would only send such a message to someone I think really needs it. I wouldn’t bother with complimenting celebrities and the well-known because they are likely familiar with flattery, and in fact are probably quite sick of it.
I would also compliment someone on an attribute that probably rarely gets any attention. Your average woman, for instance, probably doesn’t need another compliment about her looks.
no. I don’t like to assume I know what other people would find inspiring. What if the thing I’m complimenting them on is something they wish people would stop mentioning?
When I had a very sick and dying baby I know people were trying to encourage me by telling me (and sending me cards and emails etc.) to the effect that I was a saintly wonderful person, but since I knew the truth that I was NOT a saintly and wonderful person, all these kind words just made me feel bad.
When I was trying to lose weight by jogging I remember some lady on the street giving me a hearty smile and saying “Good for you!” which just made me realize people on the street were judging me when I would have preferred their complete indifference.
And such a service as you mention would easily be misused by stalkers and just plain awful people. Imagine being a store manager who got a message saying thank goodness you got rid of all those black cashiers just because one day you happened to have only white cashiers working.
I kind of thought that’s what we do here. When we’re not being funny—or snarky.
The most “indifference” shown is in the straight exchange of facts. Other than that, emotion can creep in because we’re human.
I see a lot of room for manipulation, to be honest. As in, “Love the new hedge! Call Bob’s Lawn Maintenance”, in a more subte and nuanced way, of course, but you see my point. I hope.
Wait, is the poll “Would we inspire someone anonymously?” or “Would we use a dorky idea of a website to inspire someone anonymously?”
If it’s the former, I’d say I occasionally do that already.
But if it’s the latter… no, absolutely not. I don’t need more websites collecting information about me and my friends and interests, and I won’t trust any privacy claims you might make about how altruistic your intentions are. We certainly don’t need any website making it any easier to send unsolicited e-mail. If I received any “inspiration” e-mails from this website, I’d mark it as spam and avoid opening the e-mail.
I sort of do this in real life, here on the SDMB. Every now and then, I send an admiring PM to someone who’s posted something clever or insightful or perhaps something very funny. Rather than clutter up the thread with a “Well done!” I sometimes send PMs.
I think I’d really enjoy something like that. I already have many online friends for about twelve years and haven’t met a single one. Well it did, once but it didn’t go well.He wanted to bring me into his cult.
So I think yes, I’d still enjoy it if there was an anonymous setup.
I’m my offline life I am a quiet, patient, compassionate person. I would think hard about what I’d speak. Maybe a brief detail of why she wants to talk to a stranger.
Unlike what most people would expect, that’s exactly what I used those secret apps on Facebook for. There are just so many things you can’t say to a casual friend without it seeming really awkward or even making it seem like you fancy them.
And since you opt into the service and who is allowed to use it, the fears most people above are having are dealt with. Unfortunately, the real problem was people being assholes.
This. Simply because I use a wheelchair, people seem to think I am in perpetual need of “encouragement” and “cheering up” so they constantly tell me how inspired they are at the sight of me “getting out” and how strong and amazing I am and blah blah blah. Well all this “inspiration” makes me feel like an outsider and more estranged from the general public rather than less. I’m just out here living like you, ain’t shit inspiring. You don’t know a fucking thing about me.
If you don’t allow neutral or negative comments, then what you have is selective reinforcement and that’s probably the worst of all possible worlds. Just look at something like a white supremacy site like Stormfront(?) or any other web site that has a single viewpoint. You do people the ultimate disservice by warping their perceptions of social reality.
Personally I assume any compliment is insincere and that most criticisms, unless clearly intelligent and well-informed, are made by ignorant people. IOW, I try to serve as both my own worst critic and cheer leading section - cutting myself down when I deserve it but also giving myself credit when it’s due.
In my experience, most people don’t seem to be capable of that. They tend to gravitate toward one end of the spectrum or the other. Either they’re insecure in most respects and tend to need positive reinforcement or they’re douche bags and think they can do no wrong - ever. I’m not sure why that is. It seems to me it shouldn’t be that difficult to objectivize yourself for the purposes of any given discussion or issue but people don’t seem to be able to do that for whatever reason.
Part of a project I did many moons ago was we had people write a note to someone they don’t know, then stick it in a balloon and filled it with helium. In return they got a balloon someone else made earlier, and they got a pin so they could pop the balloon when they wanted. Or they could pass on the balloon + pin to someone else if they wanted.
The reactions were really nice, and people were very excited to write a message to a random stranger. They wrote nice things, too. Very different things. Sometimes advice, sometimes encouragement, sometimes just a silly message. Anyway, lots of people walking around with helium balloons is never a bad thing. Plus if you time it right you can read your message with a helium voice.
I don’t think I’d use the service though, I like giving compliments.
No, I much prefer to give a compliment in real life, and it’s something I do often.
And how would the filmmaker’s email/phone details be obtained and verified? I just don’t see how this would work. And I don’t think they would be that interested in anonymous compliments.
I tried to come up with an idealistic thread about a non-existent technology that could only express some good thoughts to be shared that should.
Shame on me.
It was a “what if” hypothetical. If you could make someones day better or brighter, even for a moment, with no downside to you and no nefarious money-grubbing profit making scheme behind it… that’s what I meant. if it was someone you would never ever get to meet, but someone you could possibly inspire. Someone who you could say, “go for it! You were right and I don’t care what the maga-bloids say.”
You’re point is your own, eloquently put. (You can go whoosh yourself to freshness in another thread, thank you very much.)
You make a good point; robots programmed to do this are a waste of time with zero emotion. Hopefully we as people aren’t yet that low that one smile and a kind word could mean so little. It was meant as a smile from someone who couldn’t possibly grub even a nickle off of them, someone with no ulterior motives (ie- no Hook).
Honestly, people saying “nice things” to me mean nothing unless I respect that person. random “way to go” messages hold no interest for me. Maybe if I knew that person, I would realize that their approval means my life is all wrong (ie, WTG from Hitler is not really a compliment)
I’m not trying to be excessively negative, but I certainly don’t waste 10 seconds wondering if random strangers approve of me, or caring if they do.
This, though I may not be as patient as I could be. In real life, I try to be kind and compassionate to everyone I encounter. A smile to someone who looks like they’re aren’t having a good day, a hand on the shoulder to a co-worker I know is going through a rough time, letting someone in in front of me in heavy traffic. Maybe these things are different from inspiration, which is what the OP asked about, but it seems to me that what most of us need isn’t inspiration as much as kindness and graciousness from one another as a quiet reminder that we’re all in the same beautiful if leaky boat in that we have good days and bad, we all suffer losses, we’re all going to die in the end, and that some of our dreams aren’t going to come true no matter what we do.
I realize you’re probably joking here considering the post that was made, but it’s still not kosher to call posters names even kidding, so do avoid it.