Why is it that so many of you assume that the 17-year-old “thinks he has all the answers?”
Yeah, I don’t get that either. When I was 17 I knew I had all the answers.
Honestly, not every adolescent is arrogant. There are just as many haughty know-it-all schmucks in every age group, all the way up to the elderly.
Agreed.
<<reaches for walking stick>>
GERROFF MY LAWN!!!
Interesting use of the word “supposedly”. I guess you think you can’t really love someone unless you do whatever they ask you to do.
If my mother asked me to give up an illegal and purely voluntary habit, a habit I have claimed I only do occasionally at best, and it will make her happier if I did so, why would I not do it? Are you saying you are so ignorant of the feelings of those of your family that you wouldn’t do so? Remember she is not asking him to stop taking insulin for his diabetes here (for which he would rightly refuse her request).
My mom wishes I wouldn’t drink alcohol, or cuss or look at porn or have sex with men. I lover her; but I’m not give up any of the above (even if one of those was illegal in Texas while I lived there until Lawrence). What difference does the “illegal” or “voluntary” have to do with it? Why should I give up something that pleases me and doesn’t harm her just because she asks?
Because as it made her happier, it would also make you less happy. Even though you only do it occasionally, maybe you still enjoy it enough that the pleasure you derive from it outweighs the pleasure someone else might feel at your cessation. It is OK to think about your own happiness once in a while, you know.
It has nothing to do with ignorance. It’s called balancing one person’s desires against another’s.
Would you call a mother “ignorant” of her child’s feelings if she didn’t let him eat ice cream for dinner? It’d make him happy, after all, and it wouldn’t be unhealthy if he only did it once in a while.
Respect is a two-way street between adults, even parents and children. My great aunt (in-law) thinks it is a sign of disrespect when someone stands up to her lunacy (for example, left-handed people serve Satan and should learn to be right-handed - I am not making this up). It can be a give-and-take process. If those items make your mother uncomfortable, you shouldn’t show up at her doorstep with a bottle of whiskey, a stack of porn DVDs, and your lover(s). Nor should you bring them up / gloat about them.
Assuming two adults, if you were to move in with her, I would consider it a sign of respect to your mother if you were very, very discreet about your activities or, better yet, kept them out of the home altogether. In return, she should respect you by biting her tongue and withholding comment.
However, if she were to move in with you, the dynamic changes, and she should respect who you are and what you do (assuming, of course, that what you do is not running a meth lab in the garage). In return, you should keep your activities on the somewhat more discreet.
The dynamic changes radically if you are a minor. Minors are notorious for sometimes making very bad and very short-sighted decisions. And it is not like there is a magic switch that flips once one reaches 18; all that really happens is that one loses many of the protections offered minors. A 15 y.o. having sex with a 24 y.o. might think “Why should I give up something that pleases me and doesn’t harm her just because she asks?”, but that is a bad and short-sighted decision (on both the 15 and 24 y.o.'s parts). You might not like the mother’s reasoning for telling you, “Don’t do it!” and erecting roadblocks, but it is a more rational, more thought-out decision. (This example works well whether you are the 24 y.o., the 15 y.o., male, or female.)
Of course, much of this assumes decent parenting. We all know there are many, many cases of people who shouldn’t, in any circumstance, have ever attempted to raise kids. We know there are parents who have less compassion than a rock. We know there are parents whose actions towards their children and in general are far more criminal than any joint-smoking. I’m not addressing these situations, in this or in any of my previous posts. I’m addressing the majority of situations of parents trying their hardest to produce good, decent next generation.
Exactly. That doesn’t really seem to support his mother’s position, though. His age doesn’t disqualify him from making his own decisions. Adults can make bad, short-sighted decisions too, but no one steps in to take control of their lives. Apparently the idea is that it’s OK to make your own mistakes as long as you’ve orbited the sun at least 18 times, but as you said, there’s no magic switch that flips at age 18 - there’s no reason this 17 year old shouldn’t be allowed to make his own decisions just as a 19 year old would.
Assuming “she” means the 15 year old’s mother, not the 15 year old herself, then I’d say the only thing wrong with that decision is the potential for legal trouble (in most states).
If a 17 y.o. is not willing to emancipate himself, then I read it as 'he wants his cake and he wants to eat it, too". Maybe the mother is a reactionary, going way overboard after a single offense. Of course, maybe the mother is at the end of her rope having tried other ways to get her son stop smoking dope. Maybe the son’s assessment of occassionally means 4 times/week (an expensive habit). Maybe the son is not accurately characterizing the effect smoking dope is really having.
And yes, the way laws are written, age is a big disqualifier in a person’s decision making. Life doesn’t have a magical 18 switch; the law does (it also has that magical switch at 21 where one becomes ‘mature’ enough to drink).
Yes, the mother. And a lifetime registering as a sexual offender should be a pretty big deterrent, but no one thinks about that in the heat of the moment.
Drugs remain illegal because there is too much tied up in the “War on Drugs” to make an easy exit IMHO. Billions of dollars, millions of police, DEA, and other government officials, and the vested interests of millions of civilians who have been mislead by the government about what drugs are and why they are bad make it almost impossible for the jaggernaught to stop.
Why a mother might want to try to protect her son from himself. Again, this isn’t a case about whether it is right or wrong that possession and use of marijuana is illegal. It is illegal. If you want to protest, then protest. Have letter campaigns, coordinate smoke-ins, etc. Recreational use is not a protest.
This is ridiculous. The mother feels it is necessary to collect piss from her son because she is so worried about his welfare vs. the son’s fleeting pleasure of having a toke. He is 17 and he doesn’t get to do everthing he wants to do. It is his mother in this case telling him to stop. It could well be the police telling him to stop. So, my advice to him is to suck it up, Sunshine. He can wait the year until he is 18 and do what the fuck he wants then, as in tell his mom she can put her drug test where the sun don’t shine, and face the consequences. The jeapardy of his future vs. having the occasional toke. Yep, this kid sure knows about priorities and has demonstrated a good ability to make sound decisions. Yessir, he sure has.
You’re right, that is ridiculous. She’s worrying far too much when a reasonable person would realize there’s no significant threat to his welfare. He’s just smoking pot; he’s not smuggling it across the border.
He is a human being and his mother doesn’t get to subject him to everything she wants to.
If it were the police instead of his mother, it would make a little more sense for him to listen to them, because then his welfare actually would be at stake.
I’m guessing this is no different than the kid downing a few beers, correct? Both being an illegal act for him, at least the booze is a legal product. If there’s no problem with a 17 year old smoking a joint, I can’t see justifying it being illegal for him to hit the bars on Saturday night.
Lower the drinking age to 16. Let’s give these kids access to a heightened Prom experience. After all, they’re responsible enough to handle the consequences of their actions. Why are parents so concerned with drug use?
At least he’s not smoking cigarettes. We should celebrate his choice in using pot. Sounds like a healthy alternative.
Agreed.
Indeed. The US has the highest drinking age in the world. Other countries allow teenagers to drink, and they seem to get along just fine.
Shit, add to that the increased sales tax revenue allowing that age group to spend all that disposable income on booze, and we have a winner here! The only drawback I can see is my age group paying higher taxes as the rate will increase to deter teens from drinking. But I’ve never seen that happen with other legal products, so maybe I’m just being paranoid.
Also, by lowering the drinking age, we can ferret out the kids that will have a problem with alcohol a few years later. This is sounding better and better.
Let the kids that will develope a problem be weeded out before they turn 18. That will have an ancillary benefit of freeing up some seats in Universities that would normally have been occupied by people that develope the problem around Junior year and drop out.
All those years could be saved, and give a chance to those that won’t become dependant/addicted.
I wish I could say I’m being snarky. I’m not. This sounds like a good idea. Where’s the downside? Any downside is already apparent, I can’t see lowering the age adding to any problems.
This one I’ve never understood. (From the above link)
Germany: 16 for beer and wine, and 18 for spirits.
Related to that, didn’t Louisiana have a similar set up? Beer and wine at 18 and spirits at 21? Or maybe it was 18 and 19 y/o’s could drink in a bar but not purchase off-sale. Before they changed it for the Federal Highway Funds? ( Iswear this is the case, but can’t find any cites in my laziness to actually look for one) 
Why allow beer but not whisky? In a controlled (and sometimes not so controlled) ongoing experiment that has lasted for years, I’ve proven that beer and whisky will get you just as drunk as the other.
And that, for the most part, was using Miller Lite as the control for beer. (Yes, it is beer. I’ve had a few drunks off it.) :dubious: I tried incorporatinig German beers into it, but it threw the curve off the cliff.
Just because it’s easier to drink too much whiskey than to drink too much beer, since you have to drink a physically larger amount of beer, and your stomach can only handle so much before you puke.