OK, the guy got upset with people who disagreed with him about “questioning” detained inmates and said they didn’t know what they were talking about because they hadn’t served in the military. The wife is now being told by at least one person that she’s being silly for being worried by this.
She’s not and I don’t think this marriage can be saved without professional counseling and I’m not sure it should be saved. Keep in mind, too, I’m not a fan of divorce, especially when there are kids involved. It’s not just that he’s told a huge, easily falsifiable lie. It’s that he’s also used that lie to define himself, defend his positions, and tell other people they don’t know what they’re talking about. As featherlou pointed out, what else might he lie about? Losing his job? An affair? Just how much money they lost in the stock market? If she asks him about something which doesn’t seem right, will she be told she’s just being silly again? (I admit I don’t know if he’s told her that.)
She’s not being silly at all and she really does need to sit down with him, let him know she knows about the lie and they need to decide what to do next.