this stinks

my husband(andy) was having a problem at work.
he had to work with a gay man(GAY-RAY).
my husband didn’t have any problem with that, andy gets along well with people. and they worked together for a few years.

well anyway, andy had a serious infection in his mouth, and it was necessary to pull all of his front teeth.
gay ray was intregued by this. and started pestering my husband asking for a blow job.

andy was cool, he pretended it was just a bad joke.

soon, gay ray offered andy $500.00, andy said that there isn’t enough money in the world.

ray said…do it or i’ll send a letter to you wife. i’ll tell her you and i are having an affair…i’ll ruin your marriage.
andy said, she’ll never believe it, if you send that letter, the worse that will happen is she’ll get a good laugh.

so ray told everyone at work that he and andy were having an affair.
no one believed it. but you can imagine the teasing my husband got.

andy told his supervisor about it, his supervisor said it’s not his problem.

every day ray would make a pass at andy, and every day andy would complain to his supervisor.

the supervisor got angry at my husband for complaining.
ray told andy if he didn’t do it this time, ray would make sure andy got fired.

andy complained to the supervisor again. but this time, the supervisor put Andy on probation. he said andy had a bad attitude.
we went to a lawyer that night
the lawyer sent a letter to andy’s employer demanding andy get transferred away from gay ray.
ohhh, the transferred him all right.
he used to sit at a work bench right next to ray…they moved him, same bench, other side of ray.

andy had a fit! then they fired him.

we tried to sue. we said he was being sexually harrassed.

apparently, the law was written to protect women from men.
and it’s worded in such a way that it isn’t illeagal for a gay man to harrass a straight man.
so i guess technically… ray really did screw my husband.

No way. That is sexual harrassment. Get another lawyer.

And when you’re done winning a case against Ray and the company, sue the first lawyer.

“Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today.”

Man, that DOES suck.
What an asshole supervisor.
Damn, I hope you guys can find something to do.

JMcC, San Francisco, JJM’s page from the Bay
If I were beaned with a fastball, fling my limp, lifeless body to first, cause, dammit, I earned it!

The laws against sexual harassment protect both men and women. Find another lawyer. If the statute of limitations has run, find a lawyer to sue the first lawyer.


wooo bad deal. Defintely sexual harrassment. Hope your husband kept a record of all the times that he complained to your supervisor. Too bad Ray didn’t send the letter…more evidence. You need another lawyer…you find the right one and you’ll end up rich. This is a classical case if I ever saw one.

I think you’ve got some good advice here, Melanie. If this is all there is to the story, it sounds like a classic case of sexual harassment.

I’m just glad this topic isn’t titled, “This Sucks.” :wink:

“There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~

the lawyer advised us to first file a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission.
the e.e.o.c. took two years to investigate. by now, his employer had enough time to cover up the evidence. the statute of limitations has run out so we can’t file with anyone else.
and andy is so tired of this he doesn’t want to persue it anymore.
i’m still mad. but andy says drop it.
so this SD board is my last outlet to complain

Mel, since it looks like you could use a bit of anti-frustration exercises, consider making yourself a voodoo doll of Ray… Great for taking out frustrations and engaging in “New Approaches to Castration” practices.

Best wishes for this season…

“Semper Ubi Sub Ubi.” =-)

There was a recent case in New Jersey where a married male prison guard successfully sued his employer because he was being continually harassed by a female employee who wanted to have an affair with him and the department refused to intervene when he reported it. So it is possible for a man to successfully sue for sexual harassment.

right, if he’s being harrassed by a woman, however, if a man is being harrassed by another man…well, that’s different

The Supreme Court ruled unanimously in 1998 that same-sex harassment is a Title IX violation. Get another lawyer.

Your husband’s mistake was in presuming that his employer had any interest in protecting him from the sexual advances of another man. His employer was only interested in protecting itself from the possible litigation of the gay man claiming sexual discrimination.

My personal response would have been to respond to “Gay Ray” in such a way that he would NEVER dream of making a sexual advance to me again. Relying on one’s employer to halt an unwanted sexual advance is about as likely to yield the desired result as trying to milk a bull.

i know, most people would have had a little “chat” with ray in an unlit parking lot.

but my husband and i have strong Christian values.

and while we cannot condone homosexual relations, we believe that we are to “love one another as Christ loved us”

and therefore are obligated to NOT pound the living daylights out of other people.

we filed a complaint to get my husbands job back, not to punish his employer or co worker
in fact, all andy ever asked for was a transfer away from ray. he never asked for disciplinary action against ray.

but as my husband says, he has a better job now, he’s happier and makes a little more money than he was before.
i’m just blowing off steam because i’m frustrated. i deeply resent anyone deliberatly targeting my husband. and i have no other outlet because he insists on turning the other cheek.
i think he’s embarassed(who can blame him). and he wants this to go away.
he says it won’t go away while i’m still angry.