Crap! This is the first year I didn’t have this turkey on my Celebrity Death Pool List. Of course the stupid thing died.
And when will people learn that cracking open a turkey egg is the same as killing a whole turkey. Just because you wanted a turkey egg omelet for Thanksgiving breakfast does not give you the right to deprive a whole turkey family of another member. That turkey might have grown up to save someone from harm. Or make a good pet. Or befriend a lonely animal.
This turkey is a leaf on the wind.
This turkey is, and ever shall be, your friend.
Are we not all, in the end, this turkey?
What if this turkey was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
I saw the best turkeys of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded turkeys burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.
How disturbing.
This turkey sacrificed himself to protect Goblox.
This turkey came back! And was promptly run over by an eastbound Greyhound.
But they were never able to determine whose vomit it was. Scotland Yard doesn’t have the facilities - you really can’t dust for vomit.
(Yeah, I know this is a zombie thread. I’m responding anyway.)
This turkey was pardoned by the President. But it was subsequently convicted and executed on state charges.
This turkey was thrown off of Pride Rock into a pack of enraged hyenas by his nephew, whom he had betrayed. Pre-tenderized, expect some scarring.
This turkey was beheaded by extremists. The video is now available on their website, www.Butterball.ISIL.com.
This turkey was found in a Las Vegas brothel dead from herbal Viagra. Or something.
This turkey tried to break up a knife fight in queens. And then walked into McDonald’s.
Turkey McNuggets, anyone?
It is a far, far better thing that this turkey did, than it had ever done; it is a far, far better rest that it goes to, than it has ever known.
This turkey was a sitcom character who died. How soon before the turkey comes back to life, being played by the same turkey (I flew from the car, but had amnesia), another turkey (ditto), or come back as his twin brother, unknown son, or random stranger who just looks like the turkey.
This turkey was shot to death at a Zombie-themed Convention in Florida.
Heh.
This turkey got into a knife fight. In Panama. With sapo.
And then was kindly flamed 'til done.
This turkey was shot by a bird in Reno who wanted to watch him die.
This turkey had the poor fortune of living in a George R. R. Martin fantasy novel. She was served roasted and sliced, covered in stewed leeks and gravy, with crispy sweet skin.