“Close to the western summit [of Mount Kilimanjaro] there is the dried and frozen carcass of a turkey. No one has explained what the turkey was seeking at that altitude.”
This turkey tried to cross the road while looking up in the rain, and proceeded to get hit by a car and drown.
This turkey was poisoned with polonium-210 by two former GRU officers. Eliminates static cling!
Recommended cooking time is at least 138 days at low heat.
Chelation therapy may be necessary.
This tuuuuur-key’s bound for glory, this tuuuur!
This tuuuuur-key’s bound for glory, this tuuuur!
This tuuuuur-key’s bound for glory,
Its demise will be so gory
This tuuuuur-key’s bound for glory, this tuuuur!
Print that up and put it on the turkey burger patties next to the whole birds in the supermarket
This turkey had a thing for little turklets. Let 'um burn.
This turkey was killed by a nail. A toenail. A very sharp toenail.
I gave this idiot turkey every chance. Did I do anything when she went out into the freezing cold to brush snow away from a little tree? NO! Did I do anything when she came in all excited, thereby slipping and almost hurting herself? NO! Okay, so I laughed a little. Okay, I lot. And I cried. It was funny.
That turkey was kind of dumb, but maybe kind of smart and had a young heart. She kept me up on Christmas Eve cause I gave her a puppy. Did I say anything? NO! And talking about crying. Did I give her hell for crying over some silly late night movie. NO!
But when she wrecked my car. Well, that was the beginning of the end. I pretended not to be made, and she hugged my neck. Damn near choked me to death. And then she has the nerve to cry about it. Did I do anything then? NO! But I was smart. I waited till I went away on a business trip, sneaked back into town, and then…Well, let’s just say “the angels came.”
I’m glad to get rid of that turkey. I wish I could get rid of the memories.
This turkey waskilled by a rhinoduring an ill-considered “In My Feelings” challenge attempt.
:eek:
You all right there Hun?
This turkey passed away in the fire and collapse of the building
“…I also do weddings, Sweet Sixteens, and Bar Mitzvahs. Tell your friends!”
This turkey died from an ill-conceived Cincinnati radio Thanksgiving promotional event on Thanksgiving Day It got crushed by a turkey falling from the sky.
The last words this turkey said was “They can’t hit a turkey at this dis----BAM”
This turkey finally got a chance at the big time, a lead part in a Shakespeare play – hey, it doesn’t matter too much just which one, does it?
Anyhow, the director got a little carried away with the making the final act realistic.
I’ve personally spoken to this turkey with my sixth sense. I see dead turkeys.
This turkey rode in the back seat of Jules’ car while Vincent talked about a Royale with Cheese.
The leader of this turkey pack died in a motorcycle crash.
This turkey was killed by hand; with a pencil.
This turkey was a witch who was not suffered to live. He did suffer when it was killed by hand with a pencil. A #2 pencil. A #2 sharp pencil.
This turkey was drummed out of the Turkey corps by a military court, but Trump pardoned it while making weak impeachment jokes.