With his dying breath, they heard this turkey say, “Tell Laura I love her.”
If you’re seeing a live turkey on Thanksgiving, you should have planned out your meal preparation schedule better.
I do occasionally see live wild turkeys in my neck of the woods (Northern NJ). If it ever happens on Thanksgiving, I will be a turkey who dies laughing.
This turkey ignored the warning sign at the overlook, climbed over the railing for a selfie, and plummeted to his death.
“I am inevitable”, boasted Thanos as he smugly snapped his fingers…and nothing happened. Puzzled, he turned his massive hand over to look at the other side of the Gauntlet, only to find the sockets housing the Infinity Stones empty.
Shooting a look across the way, he found his golden/crimson foe with the Stones in his own wing!
“And I…am…IRON TURKEY!”
FLAP
This turkey was taking a selfie in Venice during the floods, forgot that there were canals underneath the floodwaters, stepped off the pavement into a canal and [del]drowned[/del] died of embarrassment.
This turkey accepted an invitation to a roast, thinking being the guest of honor meant people were going to tell jokes about him.
This turkey has lived since the dawn of time. It moved silently through the centuries, living many secret lives, as it struggled to reach the time of The Gathering.
There can be only one.
This Turkey … ack - squawk … thud
This turkey died after playing poker with tarot cards.
This turkey was a Jedi, and wouldn’t turn to the dark side.
God told this turkey to accept his capital punishment, and he would rise from the dead in three days.
God lied.
This turkey was innocently taking the elevator down in an apartment building located at 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, Pasadena, California when a nutjob stopped the elevator, put a bomb in it and sent it on its way.
It took over 14 years to get all the turkey parts out and get the elevator running again.
This turkey was a member of Heaven’s Gate.
This turkey was a member of the People’s Temple.
This turkey was a member of the Branch Davidians. This one was cooked to perfection. The others had an “off” taste.
~VOW
This turkey starred in Heaven’s Gate. And died of shame.
This turkey was gunned down while standing on the sidewalk outside his motel room. According to police, he was due to testify against the leader of suspected chicken smuggling ring with ties to Chick-fil-A. He was pronounced dead at the scene, and his body was used to make a local family very happy on Thanksgiving. Please consider being an organ donor yourself if you’re not already.
This turkey rejoiced that God is forgiving and has a sense of humor. Especially when the former is required because, if a turkey is going to make an anti-religious joke, she should at least try to avoid making an Easter joke during the Christmas season. If a turkey is going to insult other people’s religious beliefs, they should at least respect their calendar.
Religious jabs in Thread Games?
This turkey was walking by the Dakota on December 8, 1980. It is now one Cold Turkey.
Come to the Dark Side. We have Dark Meat.
Also Dark Chocolate.
This turkey died in a fight to the death with a vicious quokka. Its final word was “rosebud.”