This turkey thought it could cross and re-cross the bridge indefinitely, gaining a point every time. Then he got stuck on the wrong side of the chasm and had to reset.
This turkey fed the pie to the eagle, rendering himself defenseless against the yeti.
Just when I thought this thread was winding down. A solid gold post, sir!
The farmer accidentally left this turkey on the riverbank with the fox while he ferried the grain across.
This Turkey was killed by cruel farmers in underground turkey killing competitions
This turkey only had three days left before retirement.
Someone left this turkey out in the rain. And where is that damn recipe?
This turkey married one of them boys from the Ponderosa Ranch.
Please forgive this moment of seriousness, but if you haven’t seen My Life as a Turkey you owe it to yourself to give it a try. It’s special!
This turkey was [del]a doctor killed by an anti-abortionist[/del] an abortionist killed by a pro-lifer.
Did I miss it, or did no one here state the obvious?:
Fowl play!
That Turkey was jive.
The hand with the sharp knife was just following orders.
This turkey was cut in about a hundred places and he was shot in a couple more.
In effect, this bird be’s dead.
This turkey fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
Lisa: Mom, are those turkeys dead?
Marge: No, they’re just, uh, sleeping. Upside down. And… inside out.
this turkey is walkin’ Spanish down the hall
this turkey got 16 shells from a thirty-ought six
this turkey was a murder in the red barn
“This turkey is dead. This turkey remains dead. And we have killed it. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? The most tender and toothsome of domestic fowl that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of thanksgiving, what new stuffing recipes shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not become master cooks simply to appear worthy of it?”
Damn. Wish I’d said that.
…this turkey said “Hi!” like a spider to the fly…
This turkey was pardoned by the President. With tears of gratitude, it tried to hug Mr. Obama . . . and was shot by Secret Service. Its blood splattered across the entire First Family.
This turkey pulled a knife, we pulled a gun.