I never get why it annoys people. It saves them an extra step, at any rate. And we can leave more quickly that way if we don’t need change. I’ve never found it all that presumptuous.
Well, of course. The ratio of “restaurant patron Dopers” to “waiter Dopers” is about 2000 to 3. I imagine a similar ratio holds true IRL. 
It’s presumptuous, and hardly a time saver. If I’m really in that much of a hurry to leave, and the change is close to what I’d be tipping anyway, I can always say “Keep the change” as I hand the bill folder back to the server.
Simple - it is, as others have said, presumptuous. If I don’t need change, I will always say something like “No change, thanks” as the server picks up the money.
Edit to correct typo.
I don’t like the question either. I try to forestall it by having enough denominations so that I can just say “That’s yours” before the waiter even picks it up (I don’t mind a little effort in helping others avoid saying things I would find rude), but when I don’t…
I just look puzzled and say “How can I tip you if you don’t bring me my change?” With just enough of a pause and a hint of a thoughtful frown. It seems to promote thought.
It’s presumptuous at worst, but I just can’t get worked up over something like this. It’s trivial as hell. Any time this has ever happened to me, the waiter doesn’t even stop to count what’s in the little money tray, so I assume he’s multitasking like a mother**** and is just trying to find out if he needs to make another trip back to my table to drop off 50¢ because I only intend to tip $8 instead of $8.50.
Wow. So what do you do in places where it’s automatically added to the bill? That’s just as presumptuous.
Usually there’s a note on the menu stating that this is the practice. It comes off as a frank acknowledgement that the cost of the food doesn’t include the cost of the service.
And I’ve only seen that notice applied to parties of say, 8 or more. This is for the benefit of the server because whenever a large group eats together on one check, the server gets stiffed because nobody ever tosses in enough for the tip along with their food cost.
But you can’t really say that a waiter has been stiffed if “No tip should ever be expected”. That’s why I was wondering what solkoe would do in a case like that.
What about when you go in knowing that 18% will be added, but afterwards you believe the service was only worthy of 10%?
What? Stir the pot? Me?? 
I’m a decent tipper, and I never mind if they ask about keeping the change…it’s just a simple question. However, the look he gave you would have pissed me off.
A few months ago, one waitress returned only the bills when returning my change. So, if my bill was $14.37 and I paid $20, she returned with a $5 bill and nothing else. Her assumption that it was ok to do that offended me, so I just let her keep the 63¢ as her tip.
You should have asked her for change for a dollar, so you could leave a $4.37 tip.
My largest percentage tip ever was when I was in high school, eating at LaRosa’s pizza with my friends. We were friends with the waitress. I left $1 tip, even though I didn’t order anything. Infinite percentage tip…can’t be that!
Waitstaff are supposed to facilitate the customers enjoyment of the meal. If they do so, it is customary to tip them. To the extent that they don’t, I reduce the amount I would have left–in some cases to zero. When a waiter brings up the tip, in any way, it interferes with my enjoyment.
Here’s one of my worst experiences:
A friend and I took our families to a rather fancy Dim Sum restaurant in Oakland, CA.
After the meal we decided to split the bill 50/50. He wanted to pay with his credit card and I had cash, so I gave him my half and he put the whole thing on his card. We both wanted to leave a cash tip and decided on 18%.
I had just barely finished counting out my 9% of the bill in cash onto the table when the waiter (who had, apparently, been standing right behind me) reached over my shoulder and started repeatedly stabbing the table where my tip was with his index finger, hard. At the same time he was saying “No, no. Ten percent! Ten percent!” in the tone of voice a mean schoolteacher would use to scold a belligerent child.
I didn’t like that a bit–not the least because he startled me. I stood up quickly, took one quick step toward him, and just stared at him. He sort of deflated and slinked off. I picked up the tip I had just counted out and my friend (who had been about to count out his half) pocketed his wallet.
We all walked out without a word or a glance back. We have never returned.
Count me in among the “don’t see the big deal either way” group. Both ways have the same requirement (question + response versus statement + statement). Raising hell over it just reeks of complaining for the sake of complaining to me, but whatever.
Is this the kind of service that is regular in your area? Inevitably everyone always comes up with some anecdote about some dumbass server that probably quit later that day and concludes from it that the state of the service industry is in shambles.
I wouldn’t have tipped anything either in those situations. But it seems like people like to use one notorious occasion as a justification for contempt for an entire industry.
Ughhhhh…went on a wine tour last month in Victoria, BC. Fifteen people in our limo. We had a complementary lunch at some nice restaurant. This girl hoofed it serving 15 people a 3 course meal including 3 different table wines (of which she had to have extensive knowledge about to placate the wanna be wine snobs in our group).
Since no bill was presented this poor girl got stiffed out of AT LEAST 12 of the 15 people. I threw in $5 as did my mother and I saw one other guy go back I can only assume to throw in a couple bucks himself. Felt kinda sorry for her, server, busser, and sommelier and nothing to show for it 
Cyberhwk
/Who gave a guy his tip back once because he was being an ass. 
I wonder if he would have asked that same question had you paid with $35 instead of $40?
Having been a waiter in HS and College, I usually tip 20 to 25% but if someone asked that question, which I consider pushy, I’m sure I’d lessen it to a straight 15%.
when i was waitering, i found it declasse to deal with coinage, and so i didnt.
if you had come in with a bill of $14.37, i would have given you back six dollars.
how much would you have left me then?
love
yams!!
That’s just ahead of, " are we still working on this? "
Now then. WE are not eating a steak dinner. You are serving and hustling for tips, I am having dinner with my friends. You’re not masticating along with me here, hon. So fuck the “we”.
The “working” thing chafes. Is this meal meant to remind me of doing my taxes? Laying some gravel in a pit? Why would I feel as though this lovely and perfectly cooked steak was “work”.
:dubious:
Cartooniverse
p.s. When dining on my nickel, I tip 20%. When on the company account, I tip 15% .
after parsing my last post to make sure i didnt use the word “we” i am pretty sure this is not directed at me.
but question, why do you tip differently depending on who pays? (this is just a question question, not an umbragious waiter-trying-to-make-a-point question.)
love
yams!!
I’m guessing maybe company policy is to tip 15%?
I don’t like dealing with change either, and would have been happy to get bills back rounded in my favor. It’s the rounding down in the waiter or restaurant’s favor that I don’t like. Had she given me the correct change, my tip would have been either $2 or $2.63 depending on the level of service. Had the waiter rounded in my favor, the tip probably would be $3. This is all speculative, but is probably about right.