Root rot and verticillium wilt would be on my mind.
But seriously, imagine if he is wind pollinated. Tornadoes would be orgasmic.
Hey, maple he get better, maple he won’t, but if he spent some time at the beech, he might feel oak k. Shame about his bride leaving him, I heard she was cherry. Cedar is on thing you have to remember, he should get surgery fir himself, not for some wahoo tree surgeon to gain poplararity. Only then will he be berry happy. Although he willow a debt of gratitude to the surgeon. I’ll bet the elders in India will help him.
Come on, orange you glad you read this thread? I yam.
Yucca Yucca Yucca! 
Poor guy. He has to be the foilage of our jokes.
I betcha he has a cankerin’ to escape.
I’m going to go out on a limb and ask:
I wonder how well he can park?..
…a Ranger?
At least he can always get a walk-on in MacBeth.
There should be a fund-raisin’ concert for him. It could be called LiveEnt.
This kinda reminds me of a short story I read, which basically involved people turning into fungi. (It was in a horror/erotica collection… I thought it neither horrifying nor erotic at the time but now I’m seeing the horror! :eek: )
As soon as House needs a new cane.
Why wasn’t it featured on that other medical show “Doc” startting Billy Ray Cyprus
I’ll root around for that book, I think it’s in a trunk.
Too bad the Wright brothers are gone, they could use a planetree.
Not entirely keeping with the tone of the thread, but I picture the poor bastard shoving his hand into a bandsaw. Spongy bits fall off and blood gets all over. I hope he manages to carve out something that at least looks like fingers. Before the doctor came it that type of treatment seems almost reasonable.
That is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.
I think you’ll find he kinda grows on ya.
You’re a son of a beech.
May the forest be with you, aspen.
He should be okay if he has a good doctor at the elm. Perhaps he should research his roots to see where this all started. Maybe his ancestors were victims of the great Texas chainsaw massacre.
Could be just a case of sourwood.
Why was he sitting down in that photo?
Oh, forest.
Acorn was bothering him.
I hope he can mold himself a new life, maybe he can conifer out of a rich widow.
You win this thread! Possibly you win the entire internet. 
How much longer is everyone going to pecan him?
Obviously, until he starts sticking up for himself.