So now I’ve seen this guy Crouch from Southhampton in a couple of games, and although he is very tall (6 feet 7 inches?) he doesn’t seem that much taller than other guys on the pitch at the same time. Maybe it was just a deception of perspective since the camera angle is always from above.
So, how big is the average player in the Premiership? I know that height and size offer some advantages in football, but I’d always assumed the average player was around 5 feet 10 inches tall (with no real evidence to back it up). And at some point height would normally become a disadvantage. I can’t see Shaquille O’Neal or Xiao Ming playing soccer at a highly competitive level as their center of gravity would be too high.
There’s no out and out “average” but most goalies are well over six feet - I’d guess an average of 6ft - 6ft 4 (David James is about the tallest and he’s 6’5")
Central defenders are also about 6ft plus, wide defenders can be quite small (Think Stephen Carr or Wayne Bridge) - their role is related to speed not strength/height.
Midfielders tend to be of average height (ie about 5’10" - 6ftish) as again they dont really play to high balls. Some are quite short.
Strikers are all over the place from midgets like Owen and defoe to “target men” like Kanoute or the late lamented Nial Quinn (and his disco pants). They are as tall as the central defenders they are up against.
Crouch is freakishly tall for a footballer - most are on or around the average male size mark. (He’s pants too - we had the misfortune of having him, briefly, at Spurs)
Pants = Fairly universal (?), if not widely used British English slang for “rubbish” or “crap.” Used only as an adjective, I think. Not sure when it became common - recently I would think. It’s mainly used by under-30s - older generations are much less likely to be familiar with it.
I knew someone would grab that! Note I said older. I do not consider 35 year-olds (for example) to be “old”. Anyway, you’re only as old as you feel, right?
Maybe we have a new definition - if you think “pants” are an item of clothing, you’re “old”. In fact, it’s almost worth an entire thread: you’re old if…
…you think “E” is a vowel
…you think “weed” is something you find in a garden (or, if you’re really old, in a TV show)
…you think “wicked” means bad
Footballers are getting taller, just like coppers are getting younger.
If you’re able to watch the big game today (tomorrow for you guys), you’ll notice - since the cameras at Highbury are lower than down the road at the Lane - that Arsenal are on average a lot taller than Manchester United. Obviously, one reason is that they get fed so well at Highbury, what with all the dieticians and othe foreign johnnies that Wenger brought in, that they can afford to donate the leftovers to the opposition.
My best guess (and please don’t look up some bloody anorak website and attempt to disprove me - the Internet is full of errors) is that Ferdinand and Silvestre are shorter than Campbell and Toure, Heinze is shorter than Cole, Neville than Lauren (no one’s shorter than Gazza), Vieira than Keano, Bergkamp than Scholesie, Llungberg than Ronaldo, Pires than Giggsie, Henry than Rooney, and Saha than Reyes (but only if he’s standing on the ball). As for the goalies, they’re alll shite.
Chelsea have the best two keepers in the Premiership.
Van der Saar was dropped by Coleman earlier in the season and was the subject of transfer speculation to - surprise, surprise - Manchester or Arsenal before signing a one-year contract extension with Fulham last week.
Talking about “short” goalies, Shilton was no giant. You really think Robinson is better than Cudicini?
Okay, bit of fun, everyone name the current 5 best keepers in the Premiership (including those warming the bench and those who might be obviously short-term injured at the moment). My nominations (in order):
Interesting. Green didn’t make my top 9, though I have to say I haven’t seen much of Norwich this year.
Can’t really find much fault with your all-time post-1965ish greats. Of the ones I’ve seen, these are worthy contenders. And I agree that Seaman was very good for a long period. Didn’t see enough of Banks to make a real judgement, but most would put him above Shilts.
Okay, best Scottish goalie in the same period. Yeah, just one. Don’t fret!
If you can go back a bit before 1965 - Bill Brown was pretty decent by all accounts (won the double with THFC and replaced the then England keeper - Ted Ditchburn).
After that it’s pretty grim - Maybe Jim Leighton?
Andy Gorham should get an honourable mention if only for the best ever chant - after he had been diagnosed with scizophrenia:- “There’s only two Andy Gorhams”
I put Shilton ahead of Banks (just) as Banks had Moore Mullery etc and Shilton had Butcher and Pearce (not to mention Kenny Samson) - so he had a harder job. There’s not much in it though.
It wasn’t just 11 scots - all the team were from 30 miles of Glasgow! Ronnie Simpson never made much of an impression on me I’m afraid (half my family are rabid Celtic fans). Now Alan Rough was some goalie - especially against England!
I’m pleased that the spine of Spurs’ team is British (Robinson, King, Carrick, Reid, Defoe).
I really would have a bit of a problem watching a team like the filth, with just the odd brit in it, - even Chelsea have a higher proportion. ( and I continue to take great joy in their run-ins with the plod (at least Pennant isn’t a sex-case like the other one (and the car that he mashed up belongs to THFC’s own Anthony Gardiner!)
