This year's worst sentence

[Boyo_Jim]

You heard it here first. The 2010 Bulwer-Lytton grand prize winner is Molly Ringle of Seattle, WA. Her winning entry is:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.

[Rhythmdvl]

What? I couldn’t hear anything. I lost ten percent of my hearing in a volcanic eruption about three years ago. Man, I gotta take a leak!

[Princhester]

Meh, it’s not near as bad as **Jim’s **winning 2007 entry. Now that was a jarring masterpiece of confusion, disjointedness and arrhythmia. This year’s winner is just a slightly overlong sentence with a gross and silly simile. You rule, Jim.

[LSLGuy]

Agreed. That was weak. Jim’s da man!

[Zeldar]

Surely this list (and dozens like it) has been the content of at least one email you have received in your life:

http://www.funny-haha.co.uk/Joke.asp?J=630

[Rushgeekgirl]

So what was your 2007 entry, Jim?

[running_coach]

@Rushgeekgirl

So what was your 2007 entry, Jim?

Past winners.

[Rhythmdvl]

@Rushgeekgirl

So what was your 2007 entry, Jim?

@Boyo Jim the Best of the Worst

Gerald began–but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash–to pee.

(hence my rather inscrutable post if you didn’t remember his sentence)

[Indian]

Boyo Jim,

Me thinks your sentence is still the best !

ooops !

I mean worst .

[Tom_Tildrum]

@Boyo_Jim

You heard it here first. The 2010 Bulwer-Lytton grand prize winner is Molly Ringle of Seattle, WA. Her winning entry is:

This year’s sentence has a certain derivative, Family Guy ring to it. Nice to see she’s been keeping busy since Pretty In Pink, though.

[Cat_Whisperer]

You still da man, Boyo.

[running_coach]

@Boyo_Jim

You heard it here first. The 2010 Bulwer-Lytton grand prize winner is Molly Ringle of Seattle, WA. Her winning entry is:

@Tom_Tildrum

This year’s sentence has a certain derivative, Family Guy ring to it. Nice to see she’s been keeping busy since Pretty In Pink, though.

Ringwald. Or I’ve been whooshed.

[Boyo_Jim]

Seriously, no need for all the ass kssing. I prefer cash, and we can arrange quiet payments thru Pay Pal.

[MLS]

Link?

[Boyo_Jim]

There is no link yet. I know who the winner is because I’m one of the judges. The head guy has sent out a press release to AP, but they haven’t run a story yet AFAIK. And because he’s told the press, I felt free to share it here.

[tr0psn4j]

2007’s winning sentence was a work of art!

[BigT]

I was going to leave a link to past ones, but I noticed the new one is up, too. Just Google “2010 Bulwer-Lytton” if you’re interested, so I don’t steal Jim’s thunder. (And don’t fall for Little Lytton).

[Little_Nemo]

That 2006 winner - “she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean” - should have been disqualified. It verged on clever.

[MLS]

@BigT

I was going to leave a link to past ones, but I noticed the new one is up, too. Just Google “2010 Bulwer-Lytton” if you’re interested, so I don’t steal Jim’s thunder. (And don’t fall for Little Lytton).

All I get is the 2009 winners.

[Boyo_Jim]

It is out in the mainstream press now. Just do a Google News search for “Bulwer” and you’ll get a bunch of hits.