Technologically magic ID cards will save us all from terrorists. Because terrorists can’t forge things and never lie about who they are.
Lie Detectors will catch out sex offenders. Because lie detectors can look deep into a person’s soul and aren’t quack science.
Further schemes we can look forward to from barmy Blunkett to protect you, your children and your way of life:
- Chips fitted on all new-born children’s skulls. Only the guilty have anything to fear.
- All citizens to report to their a police station once every six months and look their local PC Plod straight in the eye, saying “I never done it” while having a temple massage from a special forces psychic.
-Satellite tracking activated from space but the omega waves emitted by bad thoughts in a criminal’s mind. Truth rays are then fired on the criminal, compelling them to turn themselves in. - Witch ducking. Because innocent people would drown and the guilty in league with the devil will survive.
-Immediate imprisonment of all left handed people for being sinister. There they will betreated with leeches, sorcery and magik.