Those of You Who Have Lives

…what do you do? I have a good friend I see about once a week, and another good friend that lives in another state that I see about every six to eight weeks for a long weekend. I also ocassionally go on road trips to various parts of the continent – the next one is going to be visiting a friend in Guelph, Ontario, north of Toronto, this spring – but when I am not doing that, I am doing, well . . . nothing. I go to work, and then come home to surf. I have no real hobbies to speak of besides the aforementioned surfing, though I guess you could count music, though I really don’t, since it is just looking for and listening to new stuff that I find by being online.

So, tell me. How do you fill your days do that do not involve children – do not have any, nor do I ever plan to – or *their *activities?

Some people are just naturally introverted (in the psychological sense of the word) - a few good friends is preferable to them than a lot of friends they know superficially. And they like it like that. Is that not “having a life” if they’re happy?

I’m the opposite. I love the company of others. I have a few very good friends, then a bunch of people I like and I hang out with, but whom I wouldn’t necessarily count on in a crisis. The downside of this is that I don’t handle being alone very well.

But I have also learned that you get back what you put in. If you have several friends, you meet their friends and often they become your friends too. However, if you spend all your time online, it’s unlikely your day to day life will be very full of people and activities, if that’s what you desire. I try to resist the temptation to spend too much time messing about on the Web these days, though I do. I can’t work out if the internet’s a blessing or a curse: for sure it indulges people who struggle to be sociable, but then again it may also provide a lifeline for the chronically shy.

Anyway, here’s my week for you. Monday evening after work an ex came round for a cup of tea, then I worked until midnight; tonight I’m going to a pub quiz with some buddies; tomorrow I’m doing a yoga class then going for a drink with my yoga teacher; Thursday I’m meeting an old friend, then taking my girlfriend to dinner; this weekend I have no plans yet but I am sure something will crop up soon - maybe go for drinks after work on Friday, Saturday see some friends nearby, maybe go to the movies, Sunday maybe go and visit some of my girlfriend’s friends. I will probably spend a few hours posting to the SDMB too. :slight_smile: But II like having my options open.

Typical week (before children came along):

Monday - get home from work at 6pm, quick change and a drink, then off to the tennis club for 6.30pm. Play tennis till 8.30pm then stay for drinks in the bar until 9.30pm. Back home for tea with my wife, maybe watch some TV or chat for a while, then bed.

Tuesday - get home from work at 6pm, quick change and a sandwich, off to run our local cub pack for 6.30pm. Finished by 8.45pm then meet my wife in the pub with the other cub leaders for drinks till 10.30-11pm.

Wednesday - cook tea and usually watch soccer on TV till 9pm, then bit of browsing or other jobs round the house

Thursday - more tennis, different group of people this time.

Friday - drinks after work with colleagues for 45 mins, then home by 6.30pm. Shower and change and off to the pub or friends house for the evening, maybe cinema etc.

Weekends - depends, sometimes lazy days spent with family and friends, or a trip somewhere with my wife. Or DIY / maintenance round the house.

Now that I have a 2 y/old I still play tennis Mon and Thurs, and run cubs on Tues, but the pub trips no longer happen. On other evenings I cook tea for my daughter and just play with her - nothing special, just stories, role-play, horsing around etc.

I’m not a senior citizen yet, but I guess to some people I am, or just a reclusive lazy slug, ha-ha…Very introverted, some emotional problems (anxiety and depression). After the partying years, the working years, I married late-ish and raised a daughter who is still living with us after college. I did some volunteer work off and on but basically am happy being a housefrau. I do have one very good friend I am in touch with on a regular basis, and that’s enough. I like peace and quiet, reading, cooking, baking, working on various hobbies, gardening, walking, and spend a lot of time surfing on my MacBook… A lot of my time now is spent shuttling elderly relatives to the grocery store and doctor’s appointments, but hey - it’s not like I’ve got “anything better to do”. :rolleyes:

Some days it’s hard to get up and going. I don’t have a lot of energy. And I very seldom drink any more, I’d just fall asleep and have even less energy. But the days go by pretty fast, I’m seldom bored, just live at a lower frequency than most people.

I have children.

I work 40 hours a week - often plus.

I am in a bookclub with really good friends.

I see my parents regularly.

I play D&D with a group of friends on Friday nights.

I used to golf, but I haven’t for a while (busy). I play computer games.

I am active in my church - I teach Sunday school, participate in some activities.

No kids. 40 hr a week job (sometimes +).
I have lots of hobbies:
play guitar (its broken and I haven’t gotten it fixed yet, and I really don’t enjoy the electric as much as the acoustic)
Stained glass - I finished 1 candle holder over the weekend and started on a another. (both are gifts).
Baking - I love to bake cookies, cakes, breads, etc. I always have to share, cause its too much for my husband and I to eat ourselves.
Gardening in the spring and summer. This time of year, I don’t really have that much going on outside. But in about 1 month, I’ll have some cleanup that I will need to do. Houseplants too, of course.
Tai chi
Take walks in the evening - not long 20 minutes or so.
Going kayaking/canoeing and camping this weekend. Probably again in 1 month.
Chores usually take up 1 day of a weekend.
There are a couple of computer games I play, but I’m generally not on the computer when I am at home, because I am on it all day at work.
A few minor hobbies and crafts that maybe take about 30 minutes at a pop.
Plus I love to play with the dogs!

You could start going to the gym - that’s a big time commitment, and one that pays dividends. Start cooking dinner from scratch. Plan your retirement savings better.

Also check out the Meetup thread going on right now - lots of very good ideas there. A lot of the Meetup groups I find are actually people in their 40’s and 50’s. Even if you have a smallish town, you’d be surprised how many groups you’ll find.

No kids - just a wife as goofy as I am. Let’s see - basically on at least a monthly basis I got
amusement parks
living history and historic sites
home repairs
making jewelry the old fashioned way - with fire and hammers
making ironwork the same way
drinking, eating out
church work
full-time job to pay for the above

Actually that list is more like weekly. Some day I need to start slowing down somewhat.

We don’t do much during the week. Work, come home, cook/eat dinner, watch some TV, spend some time chatting in bed about our day, etc. Occasionally we’ll go out. On the weekends, it depends. Sometimes we stay in and play the PS3. Sometimes we’ll get out of the city on the bike. We also like going the racetrack, public parks, exhibitions, movies. etc.

Occasionally we’ll each do our own thing - he goes out and gets drunk with the dudes, I go clubbing with my girlfriends. Or we stay in and do our own thing - he watches car and motorbike races, I bake or knit. Or we read.

I apparently write big, long posts and then accidentally delete them.

I work full time. Spend a lot of time with my husband.

I/We do a lot of volunteer work:

We foster rescue dogs, which can take a lot of work, especially if they are puppies (no dogs right now though). We work on basic training so they have the essentials before they go to their new home, which takes a few hours a week. We also have our own dog who needs daily runs.

I am the Member Relations Director for the local (city) search and rescue organization, so that involves a lot of admin and social event planning. I also do a lot of training (wilderness first aid, avalanche awareness, search techniques, team lead, etc.) and we get tasked about once every four weeks or so for a search, sometimes more.

I just started with one of the five Canadian national search and rescue organizations - internationally deployable (to things like Haiti or New Orleans). I did the bootcamp this past weekend and have been placed in Logistics. I’m thinking of going in to Comms, which is a TON of training.

I also teach morning fitness classes - indoor cycling and bootcamp - though I’ve taken this fall/winter session off.

I am usually taking at least one university course as part of my Personal Training certification.

My husband and I also do a lot of cycling (road bikes) and are just getting started with the competitive circuit. Our training for that is twice a week at 6 am. We both do triathlons in the summer and I run through the winter (he swims - he’s a rescue diver with the fire department as well as a regular fire fighter). We also ski as much as possible during ski season.

We are close to one couple and have dinner with them once a week, usually.

All this said, we are also trying to have kids (30 months and counting), and since it’s taking so long, we’ll soon be starting the process for IUI or IVF, and that’ll change a few things. THEN, once we do get pregnant, everything will change, I’m sure!

My girlfriend and I live across the river from NYC so everything we do is by definition fabulous and exciting.

What is “having a life” though? Sounds like the OP travels a lot, but feels more like that is visiting other people’s lives than actually having one of his own.

A lot of my day to day life seems to revolve around spending time with the GF, eating in restaurants or meeting friends in bars just to hang out. I have one where I’m pretty well known, but only because one of my best friends is there like every other day. It’s sort of a nice “Cheers” bar where we all meet up a lot.

My GF has a friend who runs a local happy hour group about once or twice a month so we sometimes pop in to say hi. I’m also involved in some happy hour groups specific to my industry.

For some reason people seem to associate “having a life” with going out drinking a lot. At almost 38, I’m actually kind of board with the whole “lets hang out at a bar drinking for the next 9 hours” thing.
Try to go to the gym or run at least a couple times a week.
Signed up for a local Toastmasters club. It’s inexpensive and meets two blocks away. Not sure if I’m really learning all that much about public speaking though.
We go into the City frequently for various events, museums, whatever.
And of course I do my fair share of playing XBox, watching TV, surfing the web and whatnot.

Well, I’ve got a kid, but there’s plenty besides that:

1.) Play racquetball at least once a week

2.) Cycle

3.) Write (and the accompanying research). I have two columns I do regularly, and have been working on another book.

4.) Professional societies meetings

5.) Some TV. I watch an awful lot less than I used to, but I usually watch one cable series (True Blood. Boardwalk Empire looks like it may be good. And I’ve finally really discovered the network series Big Bang Theory)

6.) Movies. I don’t go to nearly as many as I used to, but have been finding interesting older things on DVD

7.) a lot of Reading

8.) Visiting friends (and corresponding, via phone or e-mail or , more rarely, snail mail with those farther away)

9.) Pets. Even if you don’t consciously make an effort to interact, they’ll do it for you. All of our cats demand attention in one way or other, along with the mechanics of feeding and cleaning up.

10.) work around house and yard.

11.) Trips. I like to keep the weekends open for local trips – museums, historical sites, apple-picking, swimming, etc.

I rarely have sit-around time.

I’m married, and between us we have four kids, which require a fair amount of shuttling around.

From September through much of December, we’re in the mountains hunting *every single *weekend except the holidays.

On the holidays, we host family parties for up to 40 people. That’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the Fourth of July, with smaller ones possible in between.

We both work at least full time. I own a business, so I often work longer hours than that.

I’m taking a night class for the business.

I have a garden and livestock. This week alone I had to go borrow a horse trailer to get a hog, and have to bring it back tonight, so I’ll see that friend twice this week. Somehow I have to fit turkey-slaughtering into a weekday evening soon. My son’s doing a poultry project for 4-H this year too.

In the winter, we trapshoot on a league, which takes up part of almost every weekend. My son’s in 4-H shooting too, so I take him to that around the trapshooting and hunting schedule.

In the spring and summer, we bass fish. Not competitively, and we don’t yet have a boat, but often enough to stay in touch with those friends that also do it. We borrow my father-in-law’s boat.

We also camp a few times a year, and when we can squeeze it in, we backpack. We did not manage to squeeze it in this year.

And I’ve got a few smaller hobbies, like canning and meat smoking, that I usually mess with after work. If I have time after chores, that is. My husband does woodwork and has a project jeep that he messes around with.

I would relish a sit-around day here or there, but I pretty much have to be at death’s door to get one. It’s a good thing we have kids old enough to contribute at least a little work, or we wouldn’t get to have the fun as a family that we do.

I’m quite introverted myself, so I do sometimes, by my own choice, stay in and use the computer to surf the web, edit photos, write, and/or talk to friends via instant messages or IRC. But when I do want to get out, I like to meet up with people to go get food, look at art, take walks or go biking, hike, practice photography (I’m one of several hobbyists among my friends), and so on. When not with my friends, I’ll sometimes just take the bus downtown and walk around and go into shops. I have been a member of various choral groups. I am one of the people in charge of planning a music festival, which requires at least a couple hours’ commitment a week; it’s a volunteer position so I’m counting it here. Sometimes I take advantage of the fact that I live in dorms to just drop by a friend’s room and chat.

I consider myself to have a life, anyway.

I dunno, I just seem to always be very busy somehow. I’m interested in a lot of things and even though I’m introverted I try to be friendly and have a very ‘small town’ sort of life, so I know a lot of people.

Work: I have 4 part-time jobs, so it’s not exactly the ‘daily grind’. I have a variety of interesting co-workers.

People: I have a serious SO and spend a lot of my free time with him, and his family who all live nearby. His sister has kids and we/I babysit them at least once per week and sometimes attend their many games and events like school concerts, confirmations, etc. His mother is getting up in years and his father died last year, so we help her quite a bit as well (yard work, housework) and have dinner with her on our nights off. I live on the same street I work on so know a ton of people who I see whenever I walk out the door. I also have plenty of ‘real’ friends I rarely have time to see but try to stay in some sort of touch with. My family isn’t usually in the picture as I dislike most of them and they all live in other states/countries, but one of my younger sisters will be moving in with me shortly.

Home life: I have three dogs who need a lot of exercise (I try to give them an hour or two every day, part of that off-leash so they can run - we walk all over to local parks - plus they need pee-breaks during the day) and two indoor cats. I feed all of them raw animals only, 2 meals daily for the dogs and three for the cats, so that’s fairly intensive. The cats and shedding dog have to be brushed preferably daily, I like to scoop the cat litter daily and sweep up around the boxes, the non-shedding dogs have to be groomed and clipped, all of the dogs need their nails dremeled every so often, I prefer to wash the dogs often, my oldest dog is a bit of a mess and prone to bacterial infections because of fur growing in all her folds so I have to de-booger her eyes and wipe her asshole and labia all the time, etc. Outside of pet care keeping my tiny apartment clean and organized under their onslaught takes quite a bit of daily work. I also do a fair amount of the cleaning at my BF’s apartment (my own choice). I take my nutrition very seriously, so I cook.

Interests and hobbies: BF and I have a huge vegetable garden which takes up many hours of our time in the warmer months. I keep tropical fish which isn’t much work usually. I love yoga, although I can’t afford to take classes right now - I do it at home and try to do some other exercise every so often (I have a pull-up bar and 20 and 40-lb weights, and run a bit). Being fit and strong is very important to me. BF and I like hiking and birdwatching, although we don’t often have the time to get away from home. And I have a ton of other interests which I love to read up on. Including but not limited to nutrition and health in particular the ‘primal’ lifestyle, perfume, pet care and fish keeping, childhood education, sciences in general, fashion and fashion models, and the large roster of personal blogs and web forums I try to keep up with…

I came in to look even though I thought the title excluded me, because I am unmarried, unattached and have no kids. So I would have said, “no life” but then the OP excluded kids, so I guess I have a life after all.

I work 50+ hours a week and my commute is an hour+ each way (a lot of it on the train so I can read and play games). I have about 4 hours of non-work, non-sleep time on weekdays – about 90 minutes of that is TV time, an hour is computer surfing and games, an hour is usually on the phone with a friedn or family member, and I have to squeeze in making dinner and whatever housework needs to be done.

Weekends: I am in an occasional bar band with long-term friends, so we get together to jam or practice or whatever. Visit my dad in the nursing home, my mom who’s on the verge of the same, my sister who has no other support system, my three close friends in the area and/or any of a half-dozen other friends. I’ve been going out to eat once a week with my ex-wife, but she is moving farther away so I won’t be doing that as much, which under the circumstances is a good thing for me. I take two or three short vacations each year, either with friends or to visit friends.

I also watch a lot of movies from the library on the weekends, hang out at the library or bookstore, grocery shop and other errands – stuff I’m happy to do on my own or with people. If nothing else is going on I have projects to tackle like cleaning out the garage or organizing photos. I ALWAYS have work left over from the week to do on the weekends, although I don’t always do it.

All that keeps me busy enough that I don’t know how people with kids manage. I don’t even really have the time to seriously date, although I would like to be in a relationship. I do require a lot of alone time, and I notice that some people are the opposite–they can’t be alone with their thoughts at all.

Weekdays + sat

up 6am, breakfast, watch a little TV, phones start ringing around 8am (phones forwarded to cell), if no onsite calls, open shop at 10am. If not still onsite, shop closes 6pm, I usually stick around for at least 30-60 minutes more doing various administrative work.

Most of the time I will go home and dope or play puter games, sometimes I have a date, some nights a breif bit of shopping. Sometimes I work on my armor or prep camping gear for next event.

Thursday I am part of a business networking group that meets for breakfast at 7am

Friday night I have SCA fighter practice

Sunday: laundry and it is armor shop day for SCA, one of the guys has a work area with anvils, beverly shears, bench grinders, etc. Usually be there for a few hours.

I email friends, post on random boards, and watch a ton of football. I also watch a ton of TV shows that talk about football. Cable channels also have reruns of shows I enjoy (CSI, House, etc.) I also read books. I’m one of those people who can read the same book over and over, so I often like to go through my collection and read a book again. I also have a Wii, and I’m planning on starting a new exercise regimen using it.

No wife or kids, and I’ve got some time off work. So the next couple of weeks will include:

– Painting the living room
– Doing the fall yardwork
– At least two games of golf
– Pub trivia league games
– Preparing a talk to be presented at a local college
– Sunday and Monday NFL football
– Community theatre rehearsals
– Regular household chores
– Reading, crossword puzzles, playing with the cats

You feed your animals other raw animals :eek:? Or did you mean “raw food”?