You will turn over many a futile new leaf till you learn we must all write on scratched-out pages. (Mignon McLaughlin)
All time flows towards your weakness.
You can always find something to complain about, if you look hard enough. But turn that statement on its head and you will find that you can always find something to rejoice over. 
“It’s always Greener on the other side of the fence” … darn it!
If knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like?
All roads lead to Trantor - or Indianapolis, if you’re in Indiana.
I’d say my life is a palimpsest, but that makes it sound far too exciting…
Y’know, sometimes I think Janeane Garafolo would really enjoy being a pony girl … going around naked with a saddle on her back, a bit in her mouth, her hands cuffed, etc. Then I think maybe I’m all wrong, and she’d really hate it. And I cherish that thought. Because such thoughts are what separates me from the guys who get restraining orders placed against them.
Never let a friend, no matter how close, use your ear for a dartboard.
Come and get me, mother, I’m through! (theme up and out)