Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I’ve just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic… told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip. The rug at the front door was thrown by the situation. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to …yes, you guessed it …pull myself together.
Mister OG…I talked to my fridge today (70’s style from
some factory in Benton Harbor.) It is on its’ last legs as my gallon of milk turned to cottage cheese. My pantry is depleted except for vittles expiring in 1971. I feel your pain.
Thanks to pizza delivery. Tip them well. They deserve it.
I talked it over with my oven, but the exchange became too heated… especially when I grilled the burners. I asked my air conditioner, but it told me to cool it. My neti pot just said “Nobody nose.” The clothes dryer said it’s all a lot of fluff. The coffee maker said I was being a drip, but the door bell said it had a familiar ring. The clock agreed with me and gave me a big hand.
I’m beginning to think the random music hitting my headphones is sending subliminal messages.
Imma start writing the song titles down and see if I can cross index them into some relevance to my life.
Excuse me I gotta go find red yarn and thumb tacks to set up my wall…
How much blood does a medium-sized dog have in it? If a sniper shot that dog in the head, would it create a puddle of blood that is merely a pain to clean up, or something that would seriously reduce the property values?
I’m glad the mountain lions are at the in-laws’ place and not here.
Helicopters overhead are usually looking for wildfires or fugitives.
A previous suburban home sat on dried clay in what had been a seed farm. Two mush-faced Dobermans lived with us. An friend asked, “Do you have adobe in your yard?” I responded, “A Dobie? Hell, we have TWO!”
If you play a Wurlitzer so terribly you induce pain, is that organ-ized crime?
I read of church schisms and muse, “Sects, sects, sects - is that all priests ever think of?”
My chewing gum hasn’t lost its flavor on the bedpost overnight. Yet.
I really don’t even know one way to skin a cat. Could someone highlight for me the differences in some of the most-popular cat-skinning techniques, as well as the pros and cons for each? Thanks.
The rug at the front door was thrown by the situation. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to …yes, you guessed it 
…pull myself together.
