Thoughts for new reality shows

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

***(Mods – though the subject line may suggest that this is better suited for Café Society, I think that, upon review, you will agree ****it is not suitable for any respectable society whatsoever. You will, of course, move, delete, or wipe the server, as you see fit.) ***

One of the few things I have excelled at over my 62 year tenancy on this planet is my ability, nay, genius of making a complete and utter fool of myself.

So my reluctance to watch others do the same on t.v. for money and prizes must, I think, speak to some remnant of self-respect buried within my psyche. Either that or my Underoos are too tight.

Perhaps I am jaded, but from what little I have seen of these shows, I do not think we have adequately plumbed the depths of humiliation and self-abnegation.

With that in mind, I herewith present a few ideas of my own:

  1. **Pecker Snot or What? ** Blind-folded contestants taste-test jizz and Molecular Gastronomical foam and must decide which is which.

  2. Splat! Five novice skydivers are pushed out of an airplane at 15,000 feet – but only four actually have parachutes. The fifth has a backpack full of gold. Will the four work together to save the one with money and share the bounty? Or will they fight among themselves to gain a larger share?

  3. Brass and Glass. Brass shavings and shards of glass are mixed into artisan yogurts. The winner is determined by the amount of blood in their stool.

  4. We’re Disappointed. Neurotic teenagers are confronted by their parents who just don’t get them. The prize goes to the teen whose parents stay together the longest without inflicting serious bodily harm to themselves or other members of the family.

  5. Cancer? You Pussy! People with debilitating or terminal diseases share their stories and wrestle in mud. Viewers decide the victor by texting pledges.

  6. The Wanking Game. Men and women compete in a circle jerk-and-jill while their grandparents look on. No one wins.

Please feel free to comment on the above or offer additional concepts. With all the brain power here on the Dope I’m sure we can get a deal with Mark Burnett!