Thread titles that will have 0 replies and 0 views

Who would make a better postmaster general: LOUNE or bbs2k?

It was nice having a three-day holiday. Back to work in the morning, though.

At least the standards of this thread have been maintained.

SSG Schwartz

I see your standards and I submit my generally lower ones.

That’s easy. I would. A chicken in every pot, a whore in every box, and a letter to go with it. You’ll get your mail, and let’s not talk about this newfangled “email” contraption! You ALWAYS will need the Postal Service!

**A First Class stamp should cost $2.3 billion, IMHO. Who’s with me?

I have two tix for Jim Nabors’s concert next week in Zagreb. Any takers?**

After reading this I hopped over to Wikipedia to read up on Jim Nabors and his entry contains what I think might be the two oddest sentances ever written:

After allegedly contracting hepatitis after accidentally cutting his face and making himself a “bloody mess” while attempting to shave with a straight razor in India, Nabors received a liver transplant in 1994. He performs occasionally, although he prefers to operate his macadamia nut plantation in Hawaii, where he also grows tropical flowers

I pit straight razors in India.

Jim Nabors gave me hepatitis. What celebrity vectors have you contacted?

SSG Schwartz

I don’t have standards, obviously.

What’s a thread like this doing around a girl like you?

SSG Schwartz

Kid Rock passed on a pretty nasty chest cold to me once.

**
List celebs you’ve infected, or who have infected you**

Johnny Bench gave me a toenail fungus
The aforementioned Kid Rock chest cold
I may have given the vapors to Morgan Fairchild once.

Drink Urine For Nine Years, And You Will Levitate!

Actually, there is such a thread…

Wow, so how much urine constitutes a drink? Are we talking like just a gulp or are we talking like a full glass worth or what?

Non-discerning girls are always friends of mine.

You may have to swish around a mouthful…you know…just to be sure.

So a mouthful constitues a drink? I don’t want to be guzzling urine for 9 years waiting to be able to fly only to find out I’m 3 gallons short or something.

Hey, if you’re guzzling urine for 9 years, 3 gallons is a tiny sum.

Stop being such a baby and drink your pee before it gets all cold.

Three gallons is certainly not a tiny sum when you have to drink it all at once before you miss your flight. See, there’s always a loophole in these magic pee drinking flying things and I’m not falling for another one unless I get the details up front.