Pointless restatement of question posed in previous posts the poster could not be bothered to read because the thread was too long.
Word interru:pted by inappropriate smilie.
Some other piece of nonsense designed to troll for replies.
Accusation that previous poster is a troll. Cites to earlier posts that supposedly show said poster is a troll, but don’t really. Irrational foaming at the mouth, namecalling, and general unpleasantness. Self-righteous statement of superiority.
Defensive over-the-top histrionic insistence that I am not a troll.
Troll-like insult directed at previous poster and all other posters in this thread.
Insult directed at mods to cap troll-like behavior.
Series of descending numbers separated by ellipses, therefore conveying countdown-to-banning message to other regulars.
Designated signature at bottom of post
Indignant insistence that those who disagree with me are not just wrong, they’re anti-truth and that my imminent banning only proves Dopers are not ready to see the truth.
Self-righteous quote about truthseekers.
Vitriolic statement of previous poster’s blatant lies, regardless of actual truth or falsehood.
interspersed
with
illogical
“proof”
that
poster
lied.
Further derogatory comments about poster’s age, social status, and criminal record. Claim that other poster started it, as if it’s a reasonable excuse.
Monty Python references.
Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Jokes.
Simpson one liner.
Imaginative epithets from Jarbabyj.
Bush/Clinton/Daley jokes.
A bit of TMI…
Mention of Denis Leary.
Lyrics from one’s favorite song
Very Vaguely Creepy Story.
Humorous pet anecdote.
Post innapropriately bumping this thread so that poster can claim he posted in this thread for posterity.
Post which refers to comment another poster made earlier in the thread, necessitating tedious scroll-up to discover precise nature of this umissable comment and/or smart use of Edit > Find facility, only to discover that the comment in question, being quite brief, could just as easily have been copied to eliminate need for tedious search and isn’t really worth reading anyway.
Post from well-intentioned but nonetheless deeply irritating newbie with very poor grasp of English, strewn with so many errors of vocab, grammar and coding as to be virtually incomprehensible.
Accidental triple-post.
Apology from triple-post-er swearing s/he did nothing wrong.
Witty comment from someone else about the triple post, mentioning ‘hampsters’, which itself becomes an accidental double post.
Triple post pointing out that there is no ‘p’ in ‘hamsters’.
Post offering bitchy ill-natured response to the spelling correction.
Dreary post from someone who hasn’t really grasped what the thread is about.
Post from someone else pointing this out.
Dreary post from first person explaining why they got the wrong end of the stick and apologising.
Post from the second person explaining that no apology was really necessary.
Dreary post from the first person saying maybe not, but s/he felt like apologising anyway to keep it good-natured.
Wise, well-written, astute and witty post from FairyChatMom or Opal which sort of says everything worth saying, wraps it all up, leaves nothing to say and kills the thread.
Post complaining about how previous person posted all possible posts before anyone else could.
Post correcting minor technical error in a previous post. Cites of obscure technical fanboy-type sites. Obligatory references to one or more personal obsessions.
Multiple preview cycles, during which spelling errors are corrected, and new text is added. Poster considers rant, but changes mind.
Poster notices in preview screens that another poster, faster off the mark, has posted a more complete version of the argument with better cites.
Comlete change of mind. Abandonment of post before submittal.
post depicting only a smiley showing that poster did, indeed, truly read the previous post and felt an emotion.
post explaining how they were touched by teh post that inspired them to use smiley
post correcting “teh” to “the”
An anecdote from the poster’s childhood.
Well, I’ve found it really hard to log back on, because I wanted to keep my original name, but I seemed in danger of becoming one of those creepy sock things if I went to a different name.
I guess work was onto me, not being able to get back and all.
But I’m back now, and this will do lovely as a test, seeing as you’re all probably nearly done.
Maddog
Technically hopeless newbie reinforcing devotion to Boards and justifying not trying all avenues despite lazily lurking for ages and often yelling at youse all.
Also casually dropping fact that has job, therefore not total loser, while flaunting deliberately casual manner in form of term ‘test’, to
show not one of those "WELCOME ME BACK’ people, but seeking attention nonetheless.
Heh.
(Casually dropping term that works well in conversational style; learnt from the Boards.)
Dismay at thread being pointlessly revived.
Veiled threats and insinuations, oblique suggestions regarding banning of one or more members.
Aloof withdrawal from thread.
Mangetout.
It’s not my fault you’re still up.
xxx
Snide derision by long time poster at newbie’s failed attempt to become reaquainted with now-unfamilar boards.
Other long time members chiding first member for innapropriate rudeness to newbie.
First member threatens to drag all to Pit, then decides to come up with weak “no sleep” excuse and leaves thread.
Thread continues dispite numerous attempts to kill.
Another attempt to kill thread.
Poster ignores much-needed killing of thread and posts hijack.
Failed attempt to explain earlier post.
Confusing and deeply flawed analogy.
Limp reassurances that we do in fact agree, despite all evidence to the contrary.