Illustrative template for edification of newbie:
[Optional Adjective] [Noun or Gerund Phrase] [Prepositional Phrase or Dependent Clause]
Acknowledgment of newbie’s gratitude.
Obligatory Beavis & Butthead joke concerning grammar term in previous post.
Post wondering if anybody has actually had the patience to read through the entire thread.
Accidental post containing response to a completely different thread.
Apology for above accidental post. Lengthy explanation of how accidental posting happened, followed by link to intended thread of said post.
Post remembering funny/disparaging anecdotes regarding banned posters in the thread.
Statement that thread has negative impact on emotional state of infant incarnation of major world religion messianic figure.
Demand that rounded pastry be brought when implied subject returns.
Obligatory apology for revival of thread. Weepy, nearly blameful diatribe regarding moderator refusal to close thread, leading to too much temptation for poster to resist.
Blame shifted to lack of sleep and early hour.
Outrageous totally uncalled for abuse of d_redguy due to a compete misunderstanding.
Typoe.
Gratuitous correction.
decision that, although some things are better off leaft alone, this is not one of them.
Astonished realisation that this thread is still going when other candidates for thread longevity have been closed down.
<Annoying .sig in obscure language>.
Pointless huge font sentence.
Pointless color effect sentence.
[Homer Simpson]
mmmmmm…appropriate food response
[/Homer Simpson]
Expletive for the heck-of-it.
Let’s-talk-about-body-parts-subject-because-we-don’t-have-an-original-idea-about-anything.
Unecessary drive-by post.
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays”.
Thread that was accidently
cut off because author accidently hit “submit”.
Gnashing of teeth for missing obvious post opportunity.
:mad: humourously intended smilie aimed at opportunistic poster.
:smack: Getting clue.
“Regular poster asking what’s the deal with those interbellum mortality beams”
Quintessential bump after 3 years of thread being dormant
Comment concerning threads age
Expression of sadness over missed opportunity to post to thread while active
Dispensation of wit and charm
Completely unrelated post that zombifies this thread.