Barkeep! My good man, I am temporarily low on funds. Might I interest you in an exchange, this perfectly harmless tribble, for one small drink?
Boy! That fuzzy little critter sure don’t like Scylla very much! Look how aggravated it gets!
Has nobody yet driven up in a pickup with a gun rack, blaring George Strait/Garth Brooks/Vince Gill/other down the open road, drinking Bud and watching the stars while cozying up with one’s date/cousin?
Guess I’ll do that.
I got a twenty here that sez Scylla can take Airman Doors, USAF two outta three! Who sez different?
::nonchalantly smashing a beer bottle across the back of the unsuspecting flyboys head::
Me.
::steps across the slumped body, and into the party::
By the way, did I ever mention how shite all of your favourite sports teams are? Or how pish your local beer is? Or how ugly your women are?
Well I did now. Let’s be having ya.
Tough? You all think you’re TOUGH!?
HA!!!
I’ve got a couple of good buddies from work who’re tougher that all of you combined! (zoogirl opens sack of rattlesnakes, cobra’s and a copperhead for good measure.)
Hey, Sheba! 'Cmere, girl (The door opens and an eight foot alligator strolls in)
Ya like to say hi to my friends?
( zoogirl heads for the nearest barstool and pulls out the most potent weapon of all…a bottle of CANADIAN BEER!)
Snakes and alligators, eh?
Great stuff, my wife’s going to love her new handbag.
Hullo…is this the Assertiveness Awareness Group?
What?
Oh.
Sheeeeit.
Not only will I take your money, but I’ll take your girl and her money too.
Hey, quiet, guys, its the phone!!
Hello?..yes m’am, yes, he is…yes, m’am, I’ll tell him…
Hey, Airhead! Somebody on the phone says to tell you the Commander in Chief of the House says get yer sorry ass home in ten minutes flat or ship out to the Nookie Free Zone. Oh, and trim yer toenails.
:Walks in quietly, steps up to the bar:
Three shots of Wild Turkey, straight up!
Now, where’s Scylla’s wife?
Strolls in and sets cases of darts, pool cue and Flat Tire on the unlevel bar
Well I’ll be… ain’t never seen a three man Indian leg wrestle before. Flip you girls for the break?
Can somebody turn the TV to ESPN please?
Oh, and I brought a couple bags of salty snacks- should I put them on the bar?
Oh barkeep, I’d like to order a Chardonay and a cold pasta salad please.
What? No chicken wire around the jukebox?
Anyone mind if I add to the decor? hangs pics of Dubya Jr. and brother Jebbie
teleute12, can I borrow some of your darts?
Tally
“Hallo, there. I’m an English tourist, I was wondering if you had a pay phone I might use? You see, I’m quite lost and need to call a Taxi.”
“Oh, I do so love these provincial American bars, the atmosphere is so friendly. Landlady, may I have a Gin and Tonic whilst I’m here?”
**English tourist my arse!/b]
Sez here that you’re from CAL-EE-FOR-NEE!
You’ve got a lot to answer for, you Chablis-swillin’, Sequoia-hugin’, sprout-eatin’, cell-phone-totin’, medicinal-marijuana-promotin’, feng-shui-lovin’ FREAK!
Get yer pansy ass over here and bend over for the whippin’ yer about to get!
NOW!
Goll-durn vBulletin coding!
Get yer pansy ass over here and bend over for the whippin’ yer about to get!
NOW!
I hear the baked Brie here sucks eggs.