Threads I've Almost Started

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So many threads, so little time. There are stories I’ve wanted to tell, anecdotes and gripes and mini-rants and just some insights into my life. Never will be told.

[ul]
[li] I am TOO Organized For My Own Good- or - “Dude, Where’s my pants?” - about how I’ve been on a cleaning binge over the last week, got everything into boxes, cleaned out the pantry and the medicine cabinet, got rid of ill-fitting clothes, and I just need to vacuum the rugs (vacuum broke), but now I cannot find an entire box of garbage bags, the DVD remote, or my favorite pair of black shorts.[/li]
[li] DVDs I Really Need to Replace - how I now have frozen scenes in “Lilo and Stitch”, “The Magnificent Seven” (haven’t even watched the whole thing, so I don’t know how it ends!), and “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings”, disc 2 of the extended version. Not the DVD player - all of these have a small scratch on the disc itself, and I assume it’s where the play stops and pixilates. I’ve already did the disc cleaner thing and the DVD player cleaner thing. These seem to be lost causes. This happened before I lost the remote in the house.[/li]
[li] A Ten-year-old Restores My Faith in the Goodness of Human Nature - how a girl at the theme park spent a good chunk of her money playing one of the carnival-style games to get a specific prize (trade 2 smalls for one medium, trade two lmedium for one large, etc.), won an equally good (but smaller) prize, only needed one more to trade up for the really big prize she wanted, and then turned around and gave the toy to a small boy who tripped on the curb and ended up with a bloody nose. Gave him the prize she worked so hard for and spent so much on that she needed to trade up just to calm him down while we waited for First Aid. My supervisor okayed the trade without the needed toy, just the ones she had at the time. And the mother was grateful, and the boy stopped crying. Kept on bleeding, but stopped crying. As powerful as Spider-Man is, he can’t stop a bloody nose.[/li]
[li] My Cat Did the Cutest Thing/ Made The Weirdest Sound/ Caught The Biggest Lizard In The House/ Et Al Today - okay, there would have been about thirty of these threads, depending on which personality (HyperKitty, DammitCat, Your Majesty, Cat From Hell, Falls Over With An Audible Wump Sound) was the dominant force in action. And I don’t have a website, so I can’t post pictures- especially the GodzillaKitty ones.[/li]
[li] I Rode the Coolest Roller Coaster The Other Day! - but I can’t say more 'cause it’s still in testing mode. And I got to see how all the special effects work with all the worklights on. But take it from me, it’s definitely cool.[/li]
[li] I Love My Fluffy Pillows and Comforter - washed the pillows again, and now they are about four times as fluffy as they were before and they smell so clean. And the cat (ShedsAtWill) immediately laid down on it and spread cat hairs all over it. Not even out of the laundry basket.[/li]
[li] Groceries I Do NOT Need To Purchase For Awhile - about how I make a list, but get to the store, and can’t remember if I already have <item>. And since I don’t want to make another trip, I bbuy it. Or worse, the item is hidden somewhere else, and I don’t find it, and buy it, and find out I already have it. I now have 3 cans of Non-Stick Cooking Spray (Canola Oil Flavored), 2 boxes of baking soda, 12 cans of tuna (I swear the ones already in there were cans of cat food, which I did NOT buy, but actually needed, so the cat got Bumblebee Tuna in Water for dinner. And liked it.), and three spray bottles of Formula 409 cleaner (I swear they were not anywhere locatable when I made the list. And I keep buying 75 watts bulbs, but the lamp only takes 60 watts - I swear they hide on me.[/li][/ul]

Sigh. Just some MPSIMS aspects of my quiet life. So tell me some stories I’ll never hear from you.

Postscript: I now see the box of garbage bags - they are on top of the refrigerator. Now to find my pants.

2

I keep meaning to post a story about the construction that’s been going on at my condo. The gaping holes in the walls, the singing Mexican workers, the complete and total lack of privacy.

But it always ends up more depressing than amusing so I don’t.

I’ve got another post in my head about my newest cat who has many dog-like tendancies.

3

I don’t think you’ll need pants for FloriDope (it’s come as you are, as is most of Florida). Just in case you don’t find them for a few weeks.

4

Last weekend I was prepared to post a Pit thread involving some asshole who came into my parents’ place of business to tell them about having found a missing cat (there’s a sign that my parents’ neighbors posted in the window about the missing cat) and saying it was seen hanging by its tail on someone’s clothesline (Yeah, that’s really funny, moron :rolleyes: ). After that he nudged the worker’s shoulder and said, “just kidding” and then walked out laughing. Prick.

I decided not to post it since it was information I only received secondhand and did not observe the boorish behavior myself. Still, as a cat lover, it pissed me off enough to think about it all day, wishing this jerkwad would find a hobby.

5

Or a noose.

How terrible! How can someone make a joke like that? Maybe if you’re pulling a prank on a close friend or something (even then, it’s a little sick), but walking up to a total stranger and telling them their cat was found hanging by its tail? What a sick little fuck.

6

[QUOTE=screech-owl]
[li] My Cat Did the Cutest Thing/ Made The Weirdest Sound/ Caught The Biggest Lizard In The House/ Et Al Today - okay, there would have been about thirty of these threads, depending on which personality (HyperKitty, DammitCat, Your Majesty, Cat From Hell, Falls Over With An Audible Wump Sound) was the dominant force in action. And I don’t have a website, so I can’t post pictures- especially the GodzillaKitty ones.[/li][/QUOTE]

I’m so going to start calling my roommate that…

7

Threads I’ve only thought about starting. . .

The Pit: My office mate’s incessant throat clearing. It’s like the damn phlegm olympics in here sometime. No good reason not to. No good reason TO.

MPIMS: Funny names for my dog’s asshole. Mostly permutations of “winky, brown, eye and starfish”. Such as Winky Brownstone. Browneye the Starfish. Stinky the Winky Starfish. Winky the Stinky Starfish. Starry McFishington. etc.

General Questions: How do the touch sensitive monitors know where you touched them. Then I looked it up on how stuff works.

IMHO: Cal Ripken sucked.

and others.

8

I almost started a thread on January 1st called So, who has a birthday this year?

I quickly realized that this would be a mistake.

9

Now if you can get that person to register here with that name (or some variant thereof), I shall be most honored.

10

Saturday, I started to write an OP for my first-ever Pit thread. The title would have been Curse You, Red Baron! and it would have told the story of the guy who launched his kite just below my already-aloft kite string, immediately wrapped his string around mine, then pulled sharply on his line. It cut my string cleanly, and he didn’t even say so much as ‘Sorry about that.’ I don’t think it was intentional, just stupid behavior, but it annoyed me, as you can imagine. The kite, by the way, was undamaged by the plummet.

I didn’t post the thread because I just couldn’t work up an entertaining rant. It just isn’t my forte.

11

[QUOTE=screech-owl]
[li] Groceries I Do NOT Need To Purchase For Awhile - about how I make a list, but get to the store, and can’t remember if I already have <item>. And since I don’t want to make another trip, I bbuy it. Or worse, the item is hidden somewhere else, and I don’t find it, and buy it, and find out I already have it. I now have 3 cans of Non-Stick Cooking Spray (Canola Oil Flavored), 2 boxes of baking soda, 12 cans of tuna (I swear the ones already in there were cans of cat food, which I did NOT buy, but actually needed, so the cat got Bumblebee Tuna in Water for dinner. And liked it.), and three spray bottles of Formula 409 cleaner (I swear they were not anywhere locatable when I made the list. And I keep buying 75 watts bulbs, but the lamp only takes 60 watts - I swear they hide on me.[/li][QUOTE]

Please start this one. If you don’t, I will. I do the same thing. I have at least 4 or 5 little cans of cream of tartar sitting on the pantry shelf. And I know I have 4 boxes of corn starch. I buy it every freaking Thanksgiving, just so I can have 2 tablespoons to make freaking gravy, and then promptly forget that I have plenty at home. So I buy more, just in case.
And yes, light bulbs hide after you buy them. I know damn well I bought light bulbs last week, one of those big multi-packs, but I can’t frigging find them.
And the cat liked tuna in water for dinner? Huh, go figure… :wink:


A Thread I've Been Thinking Of Starting:
The Pit: The guy I see every day walking his dog in the street. There's a perfectly good sidewalk, but he chooses to walk in the street; he's near the  curb, with the dog (a gorgeous golden retriever) closest to the traffic. He *is* walking towards the oncoming traffic, and it *is* just a residential neighborhood, but why would you walk in the street? It's still a busy street, sort of the 'main drag' through the neighborhood.