I’m trying to help her out with advice on how to get the donation to people who really need it, since that was her expressed concern.
I’m trying to make her feel GOOD about making her donation by doubling it. I also think it’s more likely to go where it’s needed if she takes it to a food shelf rather than tossing it up for grabs on the internet.
My wife has a lot of experience administrating food shelves, so I have an interest in trying to steer the donations in that direction.
Put me down as somebody who thinks she is doing it for the recognition.
Scenario A) I have formula to give a way, I give it to a shelter which passes it onto needy women
Scenario B) I have formula to give away, I give it away on a message board and get lots of smileys and pats-on-the-back and god it feels good to be good whoopy do.
And to whomever said that her infrequent posting habits indicated that she was looking for attention I have to disagree. I suggest it may be a case that she only posts when it is about MEEEEEEE!!! (The royal me of course).
Oh, and listen to me pre-emptively laugh at anybody who calls me a jerk for not assuming Br’er Lapin is a modern day saint.
This pointless signature has been approved by the Straight Dope administration
For name, please look up a bit.
No, you’re really not. Or if you are, you’re doing it in a really perverse and misguided way. You want to influence her behavior in some way, so you’re dangling something which is entirely in your control over her head and trying to make it seem like it’s her decision. The fact is, if you don’t give, it’s not because she didn’t do what you wanted, it’s because you chose not to give.
And if she doesn’t play by your rules, you will withhold the formula from the needy children?
Why don’t we all just allow people to be generous in their own ways with their own resources and for their own reasons?
God, I’m tired.
I’m trying to influence her to send the donation in a more responsible and more needed direction. I make regular food shelf donations anyway, so it’s no problem to add a couple of big cans of Enfamil to the next one. why are you guys trying to shit on somebody for doing something charitable?
That would be a lovely thing to do. There is a lot of need in the world.
I’m not. If you’re actually going to do something charitable, just do it. What I’m “shitting on” is the idea of withholding your charity if you don’t get what you want.
Mods: please forgive me for tampering with seodoa’s font size above. I didn’t really think the quote needed to be that large for the point I am about to make.
seodoa, welcome to the SDMB. I see that you’re on your fourth month here, so sorry I didn’t notice your newness earlier.
Now that that’s out of the way, a short point about terminology: “threadshitting about threadshitting” is a meaningless term. What it really is, is hijacking.
I have to say I’m unclear on Br’er Lapin’s purpose in wanting to make some of the gift “personal”. Is there some reason to suspect that the shelters in the region are vulnerable to non-needy families glomming onto “free stuff”?
Here’s one way to make the donation “personal”: keep a case of the formula in the trunk of your car. The next time you are approached in a supermarket parking lot by a panhandler with an infant of formula-drinking age, open 'er up and hand it over.
Works with disposable diapers, too.
Better the diapers - in the US, pretty much anyone w/an infant who cannot afford food for said infant can get WIC which can purchase formula (I believe food stamps in general can, as well), secondly, formula goes bad, eventually, diapers don’t.
Words to live by. 
I know I said I would shut up, but, I don’t think I can until I’ve said a little more about this subject. I really don’t understand why this has to turn into some big fight over whether or not she should donate her formula and why she would?
It’s pretty obvious that people are only reading as much of my posts as they want to, because they are blatantly ignoring the fact that I did NOT accuse Br’er of seeking any kind of recognition. I simply said that recognition was the only reason I could think of for wanting to do it online. I was waiting for her to give her reason. I wasn’t grilling her, I was just asking for my own curiosity. Please read the entire post, not just the first few sentences.
I never questioned why she would want to be charitable. If it came across that way (which I am sure it did), I apologize. I just wanted to know why she would choose to give it away over the SDMB rather than through a local charity organization.
I already sent Br’er an apology through PM last night, before this thread exploded into some kind of sick, angry debate on the merits of charity. I’ve admitted that the way my question was phrased wasn’t as tip-toe-delicate as it could’ve been, and I apologize for that, as well. It apparently hasn’t been enough, so allow me to explain myself:
With my limited experience with women’s shelters and food pantries (a few years volunteer work in university), they are very well-run organizations that are incredibly appreciative of any help they can get. Our local charities (at least, the food pantry and the women’s shelter) actually had no real overhead costs. All of the workers were unpaid volunteers and any actual operating costs were paid from the principle on an endowment. They had a very detailed application process that included proof of income, as well as utility bills (if they took advantage of the optional utility subsidy program), and proof of family. The little old ladies who handle the incoming clients are friendly as all get out, but they’re not going to let just anyone in, they know that there are plenty of people looking to take advantage of charity organizations and are dedicated to ensuring that only those who need the charity are getting the charity. It is from this experience that I felt that a food pantry or similar local organization would be a much better choice. If somebody wants to make it more personal, volunteer time to work at the food pantry, as well as donating food/formula/clothing. Even an hour a week or so is greatly appreciated and most of the client are more than happy to share their stories with you so you can get that visceral connection with those that you are helping. Some of my best time has been spent working in food pantries and soup kitchens, and I believe that most of them are much better organizations than some people are giving them credit for.
If Br’er wants to give away the formula through another channel, by all means, that is her right and I applaud her no matter where she gives it. The only reason I asked her that question was out of sincere curiosity because I could not imagine anybody feeling more community from a message board than one felt from one’s own town. She explained that feeling well and I can understand her motive now. It’s probably a moot point now, but I encourage her to reopen the thread and I plead that others not give her a hard time for choosing the SDMB as her charity outlet. It certainly was never my intention to do so.
Again, Br’er, I am sorry for the way I acted and, while I cannot be certain that it was wheresgeorge04 and I who really caused your thread to be closed, we certainly did hijack it and that was wrong. I had no intention of doing so and I really hope it does not affect your willingness to give charitably as you wish in the future.
-Theodore
This is completly at odds with food banks here. Anyone can go into a food bank and get food. It’s anonymous. They don’t care if you’re the CEO of a honkin’ ass company with one brazillion dollars in the bank. If you feel you have a need, you can get food.
If that is where Br’er is coming from, then I understand her decision to do it through the SDMB even more. As I said, I can only speak through what limited experience I have had with food pantries, and the one I worked with was very careful about who got what food. If the food pantries in her area are less well-run or less stringent, then I could definitely see why she might not want the formula to go to them.
I suppose I was just really lucky to work for a food pantry that had been run intelligently and efficiently. We all worked really hard to make sure that nothing was wasted and that families got only as much as they needed, which, of course, was no easy task, but it helped ensure that what food and clothing we had was fairly distributed to those in need, rather than just those who wanted free food and clothing.
I do like the idea of a CEO with one brazillion dollars. I’m not sure if that number would represent all the money in Brazil or if it would represent all the money one could stuff into a bra. But either way, it’s a fun number.
Who the fuck are you to decide which way she donates is more responsible? Or even needed?
Yes, why are you?
I don’t understand your question. “Deciding” doesn’t play into it. I’m not “deciding” anything. I’m just ]encouraging her to choose a more responsible route, I’m not making the decision for her. Are you suggesting that food shelves are either irresponsible or uneeded?
Cite for me doing any such thing?
Sweet, free food. So glad to hear about this.
Also, my wife has one baby and two boobs, so if any doper is in need please let me know and I’ll see what I can do.
So non needy people don’t get things from food shelves? That is bullshit.
Yabbut Br’er Lapin is willing to cover shipping.
I’ll take the boobs. Email address in profile to make arrangements.
NETA: Actually, I’ll just take one. I’m sure there are other Dopers who need them more than I do.
Br’er hasn’t responsed to my offer yet, but since people think I’m trying to game her, I’ll go head and make the donation regardless. I would just encourage her to make her donation locally to an established organization. I don’t think too many people try to swindle women’s shelters out of baby formula, so why not try one of those? In any case, I’m going to make a donation to a Salvation Army shelf this weekend.