In pr0n, why does the man sometimes squeeze the throat of the woman in some scenes during copulation? It always seems to be done with one hand, with the webbing (between the thumb and forefinger) against her larynx while his thumb and forefingers hold her neck below her jaw so she can’t move.
I guess I’m just way too old to get it, because it almost looks like the man was forcing the woman to have sex against her will. Is that supposed to be something that some women like? Is that supposed to be something that some men like? Because it really creeped me right out. It was not sexy. at. all.
Erotic asphyxiation. Quite common as a kink. The sensations of orgasm are supposed to be heightened by the lack of oxygen. I’m not into it and wouldn’t do it to someone else, either, but whatever floats some people’s boats and all that.
Some people also like to do it to themselves when they’re masturbating- that’s autoerotic asphyxiation, and sometimes they die doing it. Quite embarrassing, I should think, to be found dead like that.
It can also be a form of a dom/sub thing. Even without enough pressure to cut off breathing, it’s a way of asserting that you are in charge of the situation and in control of your partner.
Also, some teenagers apparently play what is called ‘the choking game’, where they choke each other until they pass out to get some kind of high. Some of them play it alone, and have been known to die from it. At one point a couple of years ago, there were quite a few incidents of kids dying from it. It’s now an in-joke between me and my own two teenage boys- I’ll run after them as they go out the door and plead, “Don’t play the choking game, okay?!”
Wait, there’s “cut-off-her-airway” and there’s “who’s-your-Daddy?!”. Sometimes the holding is just part of that manly forceful thing some people like to see in porn, without actually cutting off her air.
As one who occasionally has “rough sex with a stranger” fantasies (I refuse to call them rape fantasies, because I’ve been through that and this is NOT fantasizing about being raped, believe me!), I do, occasionally and with consent, like being tied up or held down, arms, hands and, very briefly, neck. If I make a face or wriggle away or say, “No!”, however, I expect you to take your damn hands off me toot sweet!
All that is cool with me, except neck. Do not touch my neck other than very lightly unless you want me to freak out. If someone feels a need to hold me forcefully during sex, they can pin me by my shoulders or hold down my arms. That’s more than OK.
Well, yeah, sometimes people just do it with the guy’s hand grabbing her neck, but not asphyxiating. But we were having fun- don’t go ruining it with vanilla!
I like the idea of being held down by the shoulders and arms and hips, and being tied up / blindfolded. But my neck? Only when being kissed, and then very carefully.
…And can we get a special dispensation for Evil Captor to post about his favorite sex topic in this thread? I mean, he’s probably the closest we’ve got to an expert to answer to the OP! I know y’all don’t want to hear about it all the time, but if ever there was an appropriate place…
All I know is that he’s into “bondage” and likes movies, comic books and other representations of women tied up. I don’t know the details beyond that. I think it’s quite possible to group throat-grabbing-but-not-choking in with bondage, which he seems to know an awful lot about, in historical, media and practical terms.
Asphyxiation, of course, is another kettle of fish.
You might want to add in a safeword to that. In a lot of scenes part of the fantasy is to be saying ‘No, no, please don’t do that nasty thing that feels so goooooood’ to the other partner. When it comes to a real ‘no’ then things might get a bit confusing. Traffic light systems are easy to remember: Red for stop everything right now, Amber for let’s pause for a minute, Green for do it harder baby!
True. I guess it’s just that my definition of bondage is rather strict (who knows why). To me, bondage is just the restraining and the tying, not the extra frills that may come with it. I seem to recall him saying all he’s into is the tying up, but I am not positive.
(also, I keep trying to type “typing” instead of “tying”)
I love that we’ve come so far in the sexual revolution that bondage and sex-with-a-stranger fantasies by a woman are now “vanilla”. 