I’m going to stop at the grocery store tonight and pick up half a dozen grannie smith apples and a quart of Tillamook vanilla ice cream. One hour after that I’ll be pulling an apple pie out of the oven. Then I’m gonna sit on my ass and binge watch season one of Stranger Things while munching on pie and sipping at the absinthe (goes great with apple pie).
I’ve F-ing had it with being a decent person today.
The ice cream is for tomorrow night, just in case my plan for this evening is not cunning enough.
Just remember that most people aren’t intentionally trying to be giant assholes. I’m rare in that I put some effort into it while most people just phone it in.
That’s what I was thinking, but without the typo. My apple pie takes fifty minutes just to bake. If nothing else, let it cool down.
I never got the appeal of pie and ice cream together. Apple pie is warm, slightly chewy filling in a delicate, flaky crust. Ice cream is smooth, creamy, and cold. Separately, they’re great; together they become a lumpy, room-temperature mush.
Hmmm, beer and apple pie? Might be a good excuse to put a slab o cheddar in the pie, I’ll bet that would pair pretty well if one were to dial back the cinnamon & sugar.
And alright, it was 70 minutes and yes I don’t mind my apple pie hot. This badboy is the best thing since the internet.
But Gato got it. Perhaps I was too obtuse: how do you return to being a decent person when life nudges you off that path?
Absinthe is a good start. Also, kitten therapy. Go to your local animal shelter and pet kittens (or puppies) for 20 minutes. I’m also partial to bike rides if weather permits.