Okay, let’s have it!
On Hell’s Kitchen, WHY hasn’t anyone killed Elise yet? The fact that she destroyed so much of Ramsey’s expensive salmon makes me wonder what other kinds of deals she’s made (wink, wink) to ensure her survival.
And I would have tossed out Stoner Tommy LONG before giving Jennifer the boot.
Top Chef Just Desserts: Thank GOD Craig is gone. I don’t think that boy can find his butt with both hands and a GPS. His gloopy gummy bears were abysmal.
Anyone else?
~VOW
Sandwich King would be better if they stopped doing the “now I’m visiting this butcher.” segments and either did two meals per episode or not rush through the side dishes.
I hate Restaurant Impossible. What’s-his-face is just a jerk, and we never know if what he does saves the restaurant or not.
To answer the question pre-emptively, because my daughter watches it. That’s why.
Ah, “Restaurant Impossible.”
It is such a CANNED format.
People in a horrible situation. Crummy food. Bad service. Filthy kitchen. Thousands of dollars owed. Management head up the ass.
The plan of attack is ALWAYS: Cut the menu. New food. Clean the kitchen. Scold the help. Make the manager cry.
The designers come in, tell Irvine it will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Irvine sez, only got ten K, two days. Suck it up.
The carpet gets ripped up. Irvine takes a sledge hammer to the walls. The designer is ALWAYS behind, and Irvine throws a tantrum. The chairs and booths are taken to an auto body shop to be speed-dried in the paint ovens.
Irvine brings the owners in blindfolded. They look at the “new” restaurant, cry, and say, “Oh my God!”
Hundreds of people storm into the place, the kitchen gets backed up, and then, everything works out magically! Angels sing! Harps play! Leprechauns dance in the parking lot!
~VOW
Sounds a lot like Kitchen Nightmares, which I love.
And Hell’s Kitchen couldn’t be more canned, but I can’t tear myself away until someone decks Elise…
Restaurant Impossible is like the Fox version of Kitchen Nightmares, with less swearing and a little home makeover show slapped in there too. I like the British version of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, and I even liked the “cook this fabulous meal under shitty conditions” stunt-cooking show Dinner impossible (with Irvine). But not the American Restaurant Impossible or Kitchen Nightmares.
Yes, the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares is a whole lot better than the American version. It’s less formulaic and Ramsay’s narration is not as bombastic as the American guy who narrates the American version of the show. Plus he seems to focus on the personality and attitude of the chef, owner and the manager and less on just yelling at people.
As for Elise on Hell’s Kitchen, the only explanation I have is that she’s there so that the audience can hate her. She’s kind of like Max, the arrogant 18 year old kid in Masterchef over the summer.
None of these, strictly speaking, are cooking shows. They’re game shows at most.
Right? It seems pretty obvious what’s wrong with all of these places. Did they really need Gordon Ramsay or Robert Irvine to show up and tell them this?!
Exactly. Anyone with half a palate and a modicum of common sense can tell grease on the carpets and crumbling ceiling tiles ain’t going to cut it in the restaurant biz.
Yes, but much less formulaic and sensational. I found it to be a breath for fresh air.
One thing about Kitchen Nightmares that I can’t stand is that Ramsey goes into a restaurant that hasn’t seen more than four customers a night in over two years. Then he refurbishes the place, gives the chefs completely new menus, then announces a grand reopening to the public. Suddenly the staff has to deal with a place overflowing with customers, which they are totally unaccustomed to. It’s pretty much a recipe for disaster – which gives us the drama that we love, I guess.
And EVERY SINGLE RESTAURANT might be the ONE place that Ramsey can’t save.
I just wonder what happens to that gigantic flux of customers AFTER Ramsey and the cameras have packed up and left town?
Do they BUS them in, just for the show?
Also, for the poor slobs who have to eat the dreck BEFORE the makeover, are they given a prepaid trip to the ER for stomach pumping?
~VOW
The big influx of customers during the airing seem drawn by the cameras and Ramsay’s presence. As for later, I’ve found various websites that list the fates of the restaurants featured in Kitchen Nightmares. I’ll bet that you won’t be surprised to hear that many of them eventually failed.
Cooking isn’t a competitive sport. The attempt to make it one results in the crappy shows you see today.
While I’m at it, I have no idea what the appeal of ghost shows is and why they are being run in marathon fashion on otherwise fact-centric channels. I want anyone who buys anything that is advertised on these shows or has indicated they are appealing to their marketing goons in focus groups to be put on a big rocket and fired into the sun.
Can someone please give Mo Rocca voice lessons. That nasal whinge is as annoying as a flock of mosquitos when you are trying to sleep.
I know Bitchin Kitchen’s Nadia G is portraying a fast and loose urban chic Jersey type, but something about her just annoys the hell out of me. I watch her because our roomie likes her and we do try to play nice and share the TV. She has to watch me yell imprecations about Ancient Aliens and Zahi Hawass documentaries at the TV when I watch them 
I hate to admit it, as it probably says something telling about my own twisted psyche, but if Christopher Kimball (America’s Test Kitchen) turns out NOT to be a savage, sadistic pedophile/serial killer, I will be truly, sincerely astonished…
Biggest creeper on all television, bar none.
(I literally had to physically restrain myself from adding my thoughts on C Kimball to the recent America’s Test Kitchen thread, but my resolve has obviously crumbled, much like the brown sugar topping on the apple strudel they recently featured on ATK)
Quoted for truth.
I for one detest the type of show (*My Kitchen Rules, Masterchief *etc etc) that consist of the contestants preparing dishes (edited to highlight any crises as much as possible) to be taken up to a panel of judges like supplicants making their offerings to a panel of priests.
Then the ritual of tasting and commenting commences, with jowly middle-aged men and anemic looking women (oh sorry “famous chefs and food critics”) pompously pronounce their verdicts. “You’ve really highlighted the essence of [insert entire culinary tradition here]”, “The prawns are the hero of this dish”, “The lime juice adds a balance of acidity to the palate” and other such rubbish. While I’m at it what the hell is up with the practice of calling meat ‘protein’?
It’s all such nonsense, and indicative of a weird fetishisation of food and the ability to cook at all which I find rather sad.
It’s okay. She’s Canadian.
And it’s been told on these boards (I think) that that type is not uncommon in Montreal. Now if only I could find a way to monetize my Ukrainian Grandmother imploring me to, “eat, EAT”
Elise is still on for the ratings. Seriously, would you eat at a restaurant where you knew Elise was the head chef? I wouldn’t. It would be like eating a dish prepared by Hitler. I don’t care how good it taste. It would still leave a sour feeling in my stomach.
Now, piss off! The lot of you.
Oh, I’ve been waiting for a chance to complain about this!
On the show Chopped, after the chefs leave the room and Ted Allen talks to the judges, 9/10 times he ends it with “You have to pick a dish to chop, can you do it?”
Can they FUCKING DO IT?? Its the premise of the GOD DAMN SHOW!! Stop wasting their time and everyone else’s and just get on with it already! Don’t ask them the same fucking question every single time!