Time Warner can lick my bag!

I’ve always wanted to say that- If I were a man and had a bag, I’d invite them to lick it!

Story: My elderly mother in law used to get cable from a little town provider for around $8 a month (very basic- 13 channels). Then little company goes out of business. Time Warner fucking takes over and guess what??

Guess what??

They don’t offer a cheap package like that (they tell her)- she has to buy a $35/month package to get ANY channels! No cheapo way out- $35 or nothing. She calls me up NEARLY IN TEARS because she can’t get out and TV is really her main source of entertainment. She is devastated at the idea of missing her “stories”.

Zette goes fucking nuts. Apeshit. Calls Time Warner.

Since my brother in law worked there, I get the name of the asshole who runs our local office. I tell him that not ONLY are they going to give her the fucking cheap package that I KNOW FOR AN ABSOLUTE FACT that they have available, but that they should probobly give her a few months of it for FREE for causing all the goddamned upset that they did to her and lying to her and arguing with her and making her feel bad for living on a fixed income and it better fucking happen RIGHT GODDAMNED NOW, thank you very much, yes sir, I’d be glad to hold for a minute.

I also let him know that I was, at that very moment, composing a letter to the editor of our local paper and the NY Times (for good measure) about large companies screwing elderly people out of money, and refusing to give a service to someone that SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR IT, even though it is available to other people.

So jackass comes back and assures me that they are horsewhipping the bitch that told my mother-in-law that the package she wants isn’t available. Must have been a simple mistake! Nothing to get all upset about! (I let him know that I wasn’t upset- I was LIVID) Also, as a way of making up for it, they’ll go ahead and turn that on for free (gee, thanks) and she won’t see a bill for the first 6 months of service.

Geez, thanks a lot pigfucker, but that STILL does not explain this:
Why are your employees penalized (and they are according to my brother in law) for letting people know that a cheap package is available? Is it legal to tell someone a service is not available when it is?

I told this jackass that she had BETTER not see a bill, and I would be following up on this with my State Attorney General.

Fuck you, Time Warner!!
(And no, she can’t afford a dish or the packages they offer)

I think you are right, Zette. Time Warner is lying. I was ordering cable from them a few years back, and got the “ultra-basic” package. Channels 2-13, that’s it. Oh, at first they tried to convince me what I meant was their $28 “basic” package with 35 or so channels.

NO. That is not what I wanted. At the time, the only thing I was interested in watching on TV was the X-files and broadcast football on the weekends. They finally admitted that they had the 2-13 package for $5.10 a month. They said they were “confused” about what I wanted because only 5 other people in the entire city (over 100,000 people) wanted that package. “Well, make me number 6.”

Good luck with your situation.

Well, the situation is resolved, which is what pisses me off even more! They were lying to her to begin with, then to me! Then they tried to claim it was a “mistake”. Mistake my ass. I already know that the employees get in trouble for “allowing” people to subscribe to the ultra-cheapo package. (At least at our local place) What utter bullshit!

I hate you Time Warner!
Direct TV all the way!
(which is what I have at home)

Hear, hear! We just got reconnected b/c we have a dish, but want to see a few of the new network shows. We had let our “lifeline” service lapse because Time Warner is a bunch of pigfuckers, whose idea of customer service is basically, “Fuck you.” They tried to charge us for an “inside wire maintenance” program, plus their useless cable guide.

Then when we wanted to reconnect and I specifically stated we wanted NOTHING but the 2-13 channels (actually, they don’t even offer that - you get 2-26 or something, for $13/mo), they tried to have us wait around for an installation guy for half a day, and pay $50 for the visit. I asked why on earth we needed someone to come in the house, as we were already set up. Answer, “to make sure everything is working OK.” I told them to turn it on outside, and I’d let them know if there were any problems.

I’m sure if I were a little old lady with less balls, they would have tried to push the higher cost “standard” (one step above basic) package, plus all their bullshit extra “services,” plus the home visit fee, if not more. I am SO with you. Good for you for reaming them out!

I’ll even let it slide that you stole my catch phrase since the target of your ire is one that I concur can teabag me for all I care.

I live in an apartment which comes with basic cable for free. I wouldn’t mind HBO or the ESPN Classic Sports stations, so I call them up to ask about getting just these two channels, willing to get just one of it’s cost prohibitive.

Turns out that just adding those extra two channels will run me MORE than what basic cable would cost me! WTF?!?

Fine. Fuck you, I’ll live without it.

Fucking morons don’t get it that their stupid commercials, “cable is better than satellite… no hidden charges…” bullshit is not nearly enough to get people to not see how bad they suck scrote and how much cooler and ultimately economical satellite is compared to them.

When I have a choice (i.e. am not living in a place where I get free cable anyway) I deinitely planning on telling any and all cable companies to stick it up their collective asses.


Yer pal,
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Five months, three weeks, six days, 13 hours, 55 minutes and 34 seconds.
7223 cigarettes not smoked, saving $902.90.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour, 55 minutes.

Zette rocks!!
Bravo for standing up for your mother-in-law and for ripping into T/W for their bullshit tactics. Geez, don’t these bazillion dollar companies have anything better to do?

…and the “lick my bag” comment? I dunno…bizarre imagery is flying around my head in a disturbingly erotic way…damn, now I’m going to be thinking about Zette all day.
:wink:

Attorney General’s are probably not the ones to talk to. Your state’s Public Utilities Commission is usually the one to contact, although with cable it might be the city. Most cable companies have sort of a monopoly, and are therefore regulated by a PUC. The “basic” cable thing was probably something TW put on the table as part of a deal to allow them to sell some other service. If they aren’t making people aware of it, or are actively resisting it’s implimentation, they are probably violating an agreement with the state. You should also look into low-income subsidised rates, which most utilities (phone, gas, cable, electricity, etc.) are required to offer as part of the whole package of their getting to be the monopoly.

The low participation (6 in a city) might also be a bargining point for them when they negotiate rates with the PUC. They point to the figure and say “no one wants the Basic service, so it is cost effective (reduces paperwork) to eliminate it.” Make the PUC aware that they are not telling people about it and their argument vanishes.

Some states have a branch of the PUC call Ratepayer Advocates. These are the watchdogs who will argue on your behalf, but they are almost always understaffed and don’t have time to investigate all the problems they hear about. A quick note to them describing what happened would make it more difficult for TW to eliminate the Basic rate in the future, and might embarass them enough to back off of it for a while.

PUC’s regulate based on feedback. TW provides 99% of what they hear. To make sure your MiL isn’t screwed, you need to provide them some feedback. If you have time it might be fun to do an informal survey of how many people with cable were informed about the low cost plan. It might force them to make people aware of it in the future.

Just a thought. I hate it when companies abuse public trust while showing nothing but a happy smiling face to regulators. I see the other side of it too, such as theft of services, or non-payment when someone is moving away, but it still pissed me off when they misrepresent themselves.

What?? It’s not like Time Warner is supply your mother-in-law with life saving drugs or anything, it’s not like they railroaded her into higher payments, and I seriously doubt they said at any point in time “Look I think we can screw this old woman out of $27 a month”.

Do you think you have a god given right to have low cable rates? A company offers a SERVICE that costs MONEY, so what’s your damage?

Or are you just pissed that Time Warner has a lot of money and your mother-in-law doesn’t…boo hoo.

Occam,
They offer a great class in elementary school called “reading comprehension”. I strongly suggest you take it. I don’t care to re-write my original post, so why don’t you try re-reading it. S-L-O-W-L-Y this time.

If that doesn’t work, try this:
http://www.hop.com/index.cfm

Now, if THAT doesn’t work, I cordially invite you to lick Satan’s bag.

Have a nice day now! Scurry along! You’ll be late for fourth period study hall!

Zette :slight_smile:

The point is, they have a “Lifeline” service that is specificlaly created for people like her.

It’s designed to be there for fixed-income people who need it. The phone company offers the same thing. Many banks offer a special checking account with reduced fees (and services) too.

Utilities do this to get legislators off their backs. Also, it’s goodwill. They don’t have to offer it to everyone, but when a qualified person presents himself, they are supposed to be upfront about its availability. Apparently Zette’s mother in law asked, but they hedged and refused to tell her about it. That’s what has Zette (rightfully) angry. And you don’t think it’s possible that they had a corporate strategy to discourage its use? Sorry to report, it happens.

Does anyone “need” TV? No. But to a shut-in, elderly person, it can be a literal lifesaver. Boredom, loneliness, and depression can start a serious slide in health. TV can help alleviate that.

Zette, I strongly recommend that you report this to the Attorney General’s office in your state. Our phone company did something really slimeball to me one time. Like Occam, I didn’t believe they’d actually lie, so I let it drop. Figured it was some weird mistake. Later I found out enough people had complained about the exact same experience that the state investigated and fined them huge. I wish I’d complained, maybe they would have nailed them that much earlier.

Cranky,
I plan on persuing this for sure- pissed me right off. Oh, and don’t mind Occam- he’s just talking out his ass as usual.

Zette

Like you, I had a problem with the cranial rectal inversions known as cable company operators recently. I won’t go into the whole long gut wrenching story, but basically they wanted $100 for non existent services and refused to credit my account after I had presented them with a copy of the cancelled check (“it just isn’t clear enough for me to accept”)…
ok, stop, breath, make the blood pressure go down…
anyhoo, I called BBB and now the matter is cleared up and BBB calls me about once a month to make sure the Charter Fucking Bastard Rip-You-Off However We Can Cable Co. holds up their end of the deal.
Make a complaint with the BBB and email the FCC and they will get you in touch with the right people too.
Congrats!!

Make note of the time and day, because I never thought I’d say this:

I am so glad I live within broadcast range of Los Angeles.

Zette, I wish I had your guts.

The phone number for the FCC is 888-225-5322.

I don’t know what state you’re in or I’d give you the PUC number, too.

Time Warner screwed me a few months ago - THEY missapplied my payment and I went weeks without TV until they “could determine what really happened.” I had to go to their office several times because they didn’t like the check copies I was giving them. Too light, too dark, too small - but, they wouldn’t copy it themselves, Noooo.

It’s bad enough to take advantage of your customers, but to take advantage of the elderly is just nasty.

I hear you! My sister had cable with another company. Time-Warner bought them out. Everybody in their city that had the service were assured that nothing would change. One day the cable went out so she called them.

It turned out that they shut it off because she wasn’t paying, but she WAS! She found out that she was supposed to pay to another address (she asked if the address was the same when they switched) so they never got her payment. She asked if she’d send the check copies to them if they would re-connect. Nope. She couldn’t do that. She had to send them the payments they didn’t receive to their new address (we’re talking about 4 months payments). Then they’d reconnect her for a fee. So she got Direct TV. She found out that every other person in the city got theirs shut off too and TW wouldn’t listen when they were told that they were told to send it to a different address. People were furious. They wrote to the editor, called the BBB and FCC and nothing was done. TW accused everyone of not refusing to pay their bills.

My sister told me that when the people came in to install Direct TV that Time-Warner buying the company was the best thing that ever happened to their business.

Zette:

I get the impression that your M-I-L lives somewhere within the 5-boros of NYC, in which case I can be of some help. I used to work for the city agency that regulates cable tv franchises; it’s called the NYC Dept. of Information Technology & Telecommunications (DoITT).

Here is a link that will bring up a complaint form:

http://nyc.gov/html/doitt/html/cable.html

If you want a phone # or you wish to explore more about DoITT and how they regulate cable franchisees, go to NYC.gov and scroll for that agency.

You may also address the matter to the State of NY Public Service Commission at 1-800-342-3330.

And the BBB for this type of complaint is at 1-900-463-6222.

(All of this info, including a breakdown of all the service plans and prices, incidentlty, can be found in a flier that gets mailed to all cable subscribers titled “Subsciber Rights.” Most people just throw it out; I file it away for exactly these purposes.)

Just as an aside, Cranky makes a good point about what she calls “Lifeline” service that I want to elaborate on. Most cities grant “hardwire” cable franchicees a monopoly in their territory. (Because of NYC’s size it is served by several franchisees; the city is divided into several geographic pieces, each of which is served exclusively by one company.) This monopoly arrangement is important. Here’s how it works:

The cable company, of course, gets freedom from competition (at least for a while) because the city will only allow the winning francisee the right to tear up its streets and string cable in public spaces. The city, on the other hand, gets a bunch of cash up front, a few other chips (like municipal and public access channels) and the right to reasonably regulate the franchisees.

This right gives the city considerable say in the cable prices charged and services provided to consumers. And one of the things NYC (and other municipalities) insists on is that a barebones (broadcast channels) package is available at a very modest monthly price. With all the tall buildings broadcast reception is lousy, if not impossible, in many neighborhoods, so the city wants to ensure that everyone can at least get the major channels for a low price.

Let me know if I can be of further service.

Sty,
That was great info, but I’m in upstate NY, not the city. Thanks for the information, though!
Zette

PS- visited MIL today, she is happily enjoying her cable TV. :slight_smile:

Zette:

The all important Fall Radio Arbitrons just started. You have a wonderful story that relates to older people who have been known to listen to talk radio (and don’t think talk radio stations don’t know it).
Are you limiting yourself to one letter to the editor?