Where is it in Word 07?
I just turn the stupid things off/mute the sound.
But it irritates me to no end that a silly ad for heartburn medicine must give a list of possible things that can go wrong if you take the medicine… and not just a list but a 2:30 ad telling you that if you take Celebrex, you could have explosive diarrhea while suffering a gruesomely fatal heart attack while playing with your children… but for some people the “benefits probably outweigh the risks.”
WTF?
Now this is an extreme example, but all prescription drug ads have this sort of shit on them. “Warning: Our cholesterol fighting medicine may cause you to go blind!” “Some users of this drug may experience dizziness while driving.” “A small set of users have experienced feelings of compulsive gambling, suicidal tendencies, and other not-good stuff - please check with your doctor to see if FUCKITOL is right for you.”
Why even bother to advertise if you’re forced to spend over 50% of the commercial explaining how the drug will fuck up the users life worse than the condition that you’re trying to heal?
Well, I suppose it did, but I considered the source and kept walking. 
JohnT–they do that because some numbnut will sue them and say that “you never said my hands could fall off!” But the ads are irritating. I find their ability to make the most gruesome side effect seem like a visit from fluffy bunnies to be the most disturbing. “side effects may include sudden palpitations, followed by seizure and cardiac death. Be sure to ask your doctor about our handy travel packs!”
surreal.
I’m assuming this is the commercial I half-saw the other day. I was in my work’s breakroom doing homework, and the TV was on, showing whatever a Fox affiliate would show at 3 in the morning. Eventually, it dawned on me that whatever was droning on the TV wasn’t an entertainment program, yet had been droning for a really long time. Looked up… everyone in the breakroom had an incredulous look on their face, like “what’s wrong with the TV?”
I turned around. The TV had some basic Macromedia Flash animation, and a soothing voice: “This medicine may cause premature ejaculation. Do not use this medicine if you tend to stick to vinyl car seats in the summer. Some users, especially those who trim their ear hairs, may experience paper cuts on the eye. If you tend to abuse nitrous oxide or kittens, use of this medicine will cause fatal blood thinning. Little Debbie snack cakes are contraindicated for cancer patients in remission who take this medicine rectally. Blahblahblah…” I got the dumbfounded look as well, and stared at the TV for what felt like half an hour. At some point, I asked aloud “How long has this commercial been on?,” which was answered with… “way too fucking long.”
Anyway. Only seen it once, and it was entertaining that one time, because I enjoyed mulling over what the advertising agency might have been on when they sold that ad campaign to the drug multinational.
Please, not at noon. I get irrationally angry at people shopping/running errands during my lunch hour who obviously aren’t pressed for time. Mothers with little kids and retired people - can’t you shop some other time of day? Some of us have to get back to work!
My mother does something like this. She’ll say something like, “Angela is going to be really mad when she gets back.” And then she’ll clam up and wait for me to say, “Why, what happened?” Aaagh! Just tell me already!
I’m so glad I’m not alone! This is how I weed out the jackasses. I sneeze multiple times in a row, all the time. I can’t help it. When I sneeze it sounds like this:
ah-choo-Ha-choo-Hachoo-Hachoo-Hachoo wipes eyes and returns to the world
My husband just starts laughing now whenever I sneeze. This doesn’t bother me, and actually it usually means I’m laughing by the time I’m done because of it. He also laughs at me because half the time I’m trying to keep talking through the sneeze, so it sounds kind of desperate.
What bother me is when people do this:
Bless you! (normal)
Bless you! (surprised)
Well, goodness, bless you! (concerned)
Bless you! (annoyed. as though they’re trying to get me to stop, or warding off the sneezes by the sheer force of “Bless you!”)
Then they ask “Are you okay?!”
I will forgive this once, because I know my sneezes are weird. It really shouldn’t bother me that much, but after they do this a couple times, they start to sound accusatory or annoyed and it pisses me off.
You must feel the same way about women in skirts that aren’t on straight. That’s one thing that can’t happen in trousers!
If the trucks are SIMILARLY PRICED how the fuck can I save THOUSANDS by buying one rather than the other??
Reading Liberal’s posts about wishing non-consensual sex upon Hillary Clinton are infinitesimally small irritants, but they do piss me off.
Was it a blue screen with the drawings in white lines that expanded to show words? I linked to it in the above post, but to make it simple for you, here it is:
Yeah! That’s it. I had forgotten the main thrust of the ad. “Well, we have to put these warnings up. Those other, safer drugs have to have the warnings, too, so let’s remind them of that without drawing attention to the fact that they’re… y’know… safer.” All I’d taken away was… Jesus, that’s a ton of warnings.
I enjoyed also the dull music! Makes suffering through those warnings all that more mind-numbing.
I hate it when I swallow something the wrong way and get into a coughing fit over it. What makes me want to punch a nun is when some well-meaning assnugget decides to repeatedly slap me on the back, as if that’s going to help.
And speaking of annoying coworkers: “Hi tdn, can I, um… ask you a… favor? I really hate to disturb you, but there’s something I need from you, and I really hate to bother you with this, and I don’t want to take up your time, because I know your time is valuable, so forgive me for asking, but if it’s OK, and I really hope it is, because I really need this favor, even though I know your time is valuable, and I hate to disturb you like this, and gosh, I feel really bad about asking, like really really bad, and I hate to be a bother, so I hope it’s OK for me to ask, and I don’t want you to get mad at me, but gee whiz, I really need this to get done, so as much as I hate to take up your valuable time, I’m down on my knees begging you pretty please, if you can find it in your heart to just give me a moment, I promise you it won’t take very long, maybe three seconds, I hope no longer than that, but it might take up to four seconds, in which case I apologize in advance, because I know how valuable your time is, and I don’t want to waste it, not a single second of it, so pretty pretty please with sugar on it, this is really important, and it would mean so much to me, so, not to waste your time, if you can just spare a moment, if you have one to spare, because this needs to get done, so while I know you have things to do, and gosh, I really hope I’m not disturbing you, am I disturbing you? I’d hate to disturb you, because I know your time is valuable, so I promise that this won’t take more than two seconds, tops, and then I’ll be out of your hair, haha!, so to speak, because you’re bald, just kidding, I hope I didn’t offend you with that, because I know you’re really busy and important, and I don’t want to bug you, because I know you have things to do, like punching a nun, and I don’t want to interrupt you doing that, because I know your time is valuable, but do you think you could do me one tiny favor? Please?”
Ow. Reminds me of the calls I get sometimes. After they’ve asked the favor, they say, “Oh, I’m really glad you’re going to be taking care of this, because it’s important, you know? And I know you’ll understand that it has to happen ASAP. I mean, the patient’s dying as we speak and the doctor’s about to rip off our heads and shit down our necks, so we really need to have it done, like, yesterday. If you can just get that done, and then let me know, because we have to call him right back. He’s sitting by the phone. So you know, when he tells you that, you gotta get a move on, right? I’m just impressing on you that time is of the essence here. So I’ll be waiting and if you can get it done with all speed that’d be great.” etc.
Fred Meyer (like a Target but a little better, IMHO) has a set of commercials that bug me though they really shouldn’t. They’re only fifteen or twenty seconds long, for Pete’s sake.
The first one shows a peaceful, lush garden through a garden gate. The camera slowly approaches it as you hear birds chirping, the wind in the trees, maybe a stream trickling. No voices at all. Toward the end, a Fred Meyer logo appears in the lower left hand corner.
Part two of the commercial comes a minute later. This time we see a happy family enjoying their beautiful back yard. Again, the only sound is the birds and the trees and the stream. No kids tormenting each other and screeching. No hubby complaining to his wife that she bought the wrong kind of barbecue sauce; she should have bought the kind from the company that knows barbecue sauces. Just peace and quiet. Toward the end, the Fred Meyer logo comes on in the corner again and a gentle-voiced woman (off screen) says a very brief bit about their Garden Center and that’s it.
Now, gardens are good. Birds, trees, streams and happy families are good. Commercials without a lot of talking are weird and a little jarring. I’m sure that’s what the ad people were going for. Get peoples’ attention by being quiet. Just the opposite of what they expect.
Knowing this, I acknowledge that I get a bit irritated when these commercials come on. I shouldn’t, but I do. And then I get irritated with myself for being irritated at the stupid commercial when I should be enjoying the calmness of it all.
And then I remember to hit the return button on the remote in hopes that whatever alternative channel I have as backup isn’t running any commercials at the moment and if they aren’t, then all is well once again.
.
I have the opposite problem. I have a lot of webcomics that I check up on at my home computer. Sometimes I chuckle or laugh out loud. The Youngest’s girlfriend, if she’s there, will say, “What?!” Sometimes in surprise, sometimes almost sounding as if she’s afraid that she’s missed something that she should have had under control.
She can see me sitting and reading the computer screen. It’s happened dozens of times before. And it’s not like she’s interested in what I was reading. Attempts to read aloud or explain have, in the past, mostly gotten either ‘oh’ or ‘okay’. Now I usually say, “cartoon - hard to explain”.
I shouldn’t be annoyed, but I don’t understand the reaction and it kind of pops me out of the reading mood when I have to answer her.
She’ll also ask me “are you all right” if I’ve been quiet too long. So maybe it’s one of those extrovert things.
Yeah, attention whores. Be glad you’ve got a laugher. I used to work with one who would suddenly burst out with “Damn it.” Out of the corner of my eye I’d see her look around to see if anyone acknowledged. If not, then she’d say “Goddamn it.” Again, the furtive sweep for reactions. If negative, then “Fuck!” Eventually someone asks “What’s the matter?”
What’s her response? Oh come now, you really didn’t see it coming like the 5:15 bus? She makes a show of pointedly ignoring the gesture of concern, and stomps out of the room in a huff.
Mom? Is that you?
Internet badasses. Those people who swear, that no matter how much of a Neanderthal their attitude and supposed actions may make them, nothing you can prove will prevent them from going medieval on your ass for any perceived transgression. Usually towards some archaic mode of (sexist?) questionable honor.
I doubly know this shouldn’t bother me because I’m sure it’s even less true in reality than it is in fantasy, but for some reason it reminds me of those that do the most damage by hiding behind authority and the like. Argh!!
I’d almost suggest that we introduce him to my ex, the paranoid delusional former Mrs. Chimera.
(sneeze)
Bless you.
(sneeze)
Bless you.
I heard that tone in your voice! YOU HATE ME! WAAAAAAA!!!
Sounds like my ex, referenced in my last post.
I like to say that she’s Certified by the Federal Government as being Completely Fucking Nuts, because she’s on SSDI for Mental Illness. She was an attention whore and a Sympathy Vampire.
Toward the end of our time, two events;
She had lunch with her oldest friend. She came home crying, complaining that her friend had done nothing but contradict her. A couple of weeks later, same story. This time she’s talking about breaking contact with this lifelong friend, because she’s been nothing but mean. So I say, why don’t you invite her over? Unlike previous visits that are just you two, I’ll hang around and we’ll see how it goes.
Friend comes over, we have a really nice 3 hour visit. Friend walks out and gets into her car. Up to this point, everything has been pleasant and my (then)wife has a smile on her face. Cue Light Switch. Suddenly she starts bawling as loud as she could. “You heard what she said to me!” I was confused. I turned to her and said that yes I had, and I hadn’t heard anything mean. Cue Light Switch. Wife shuts off the water works, sniffs “Well I thought she had” and stomps off, refusing to speak to me for the rest of the night because I hadn’t supported her need to feel persecuted.
The second event happened about two weeks later and was very clearly a harbringer of The End.
We’re sitting on the couch watching a rented DVD. I’m completely engrossed in the movie and up to that point, all was reasonably well between us. Suddenly, she starts screaming and wailing, serious water works, cringing away from me, arms up and shaking in terror. "I see that look in your eyes, you hate me!"
I literally went :eek:
It was like suddenly finding myself in the middle of the worst horror movie I could imagine. Here I’m watching a movie, I have no idea what “look” is on my face, but it’s certainly related to the movie I’m watching, when suddenly, my wife is having a complete mental breakdown, screaming and crying in terror because I allegedly hate her and am making faces. Drop me in a Zombie flick after that? Pishposh! I’ve seen worse! I lived through THIS.
Like every other event, she refused to acknowledge any problem on her end or get any help. It was ALL ME. About a month later, I filed an Order For Protection against her, because I was afraid for my physical safety. I have a Black Belt, several guns, swords and the like, but I lived in fear of this woman because she was obviously not well and was painting ME as The Source Of All Evil.
Tiny, tiny thing that shouldn’t piss me off, but did?
Her family and all our friends believed her.
The revenge? Living well, getting better, and knowing that they still have to deal with this kind of psychosis on a regular basis. And I don’t.