That’d be a good backup plan, then. I mean, in case I ever got pregnant, I could just let other people open my cigarettes, and then condors would take care of it, right?
Seriously, though, the reason that The List only has three people on it is because I have to be really busy to let somebody else open my pack instead of doing it myself. Most of the time I’ll open it and just let 'em grab one. But once in a while, my hands are full, and I don’t have a second, and I’ll just let them have that one chance, and then BAM! They just fuck it all up.
I’m pretty paranoid - if people are talking near me (strangers, coworkers, whtever) and I can’t quite hear everything or if it’s in a different language, my brain automatically assumes they’re talking smack about me no matter how I try to quash it or ignore it, and it makes my mercury rise.
Also drives me absolutely batty when people call my workplace and give me 5 minutes of backstory before telling me the name I could have looked up or the question I could have answered and ended the call in 5 seconds. I understand, sure, how are they supposed to know. But it’s ALWAYS THE SAME sort of backstory, same unnecessary info we already have, same lead-ins, same “we only just now heard about your program”, same to an absurd degree. And this is like 90 percent of the calls here. If only they could just HEAR how brainwashed they sound.
You definitely DO NOT WANT to be engaging in conversation with someone who says “How you gonna do that with your purse?”. Clearly grammarsites have riddled her brain making meaningful communication neither useful nor enjoyable.
Just hit her with a frying pan instead, that way someone watching can say “Oh no she di’ 'ent”…
Regarding the sneezing/blessyou conundrum:
I occasionally get sneezy, and might sneeze five or six times. My ex would say “Bless you!” the first time. I’d say thank you, sneeze again, and he’s say "Bless you!" again, this time with the tiniest bit of impatience. By the third sneeze, he’d be genuinely annoyed that I was continuing to sneeze, as if I were doing it to force him to continue to inanely bless me. If I got as far as Sneeze 5, he’d be truly pissed. It’s not like I asked him to respond to my sneezing!
Divorce is a beautiful thing.
We get circulars (with nifty money-saving coupons, even) for Safeway and FoodsCo and Lucky Supermarket in the mail every week without fail. The closest Safeway to our crib is twenty or so blocks away. The only FoodsCo in town is even further away. And I’m not sure there’s even a Lucky’s in San Francisco at all. Meanwhile, there’s a 24-hour Cala super in the nabe, less than ten minutes’ walk from our front door, in fact – and do you think we ever get a circular for CALA (with nifty money-saving coupons)? Hell, NO we don’t!
It is nigh on to impossible to find plain black T-shirts at any of the thrift stores I do much of my clothes shopping in. They’ve all got some gawd-awful* logo * or commercial icon on them – not ever a cool rock’n’roll band logo or anything else I’d consider wearing for one hot second, either, but always some ugly and stupid-looking corporate visual abortion. And it’s even worse trying to find plain black bandanna handerchiefs without a pattern anywhere. It’s just a simple square of plain cotton cloth, for the love of badness, how much trouble would it be to put a few more of them on the damn market?
The SF Chronicle always has a few pages with this stupid random extra crease in the paper. It would just be annoying if it was some kind of bollix in their newspaper-folding machinery. But they do it that way on purpose! :dubious: There is apparently some big eco-greeny goodguy reason for doing it. The hell with that! It’s a stupid and irritating warpage in my daily paper that makes it look sloppy.
“Allows”? You’re lucky. At my last job, there were no employee lounges or dining areas. So if you didn’t want to go to the cafe across the street, that had airport-like prices, you had to eat at your desk.
I never understood why anybody would want to wear things like that. Why would someone want to wear a T-shirt or ball cap that says “Pepsi Cola” on it? Yet these things are sold and bought in their thousands. If it’s a logo that people identify as hip for some reason, or hinting at a certain lifestyle, like the “Zig Zag” logo shirts that people used to wear back in the early 1970s, I can sort of appreciate that the wearer is trying to make a statement. But Pepsi? Unocal? Ford? I don’t get it.
There’s one person at my last job who used the Pepsi logo as his Yahoo avatar.
Spectre, I’m contemplating picking me up some cargo shorts because I feel weird about exposing any more than calf length in shorts. (My brain does not do this when considering dresses, strangely enough)
People who don’t use turn signals and make me guess which way they’re going. Being sure we won’t merge into each other would, possibly, be nice, yes?
People who don’t wear their clothes symmetrically. Like – only tucking in the front of your buttondown, or having one strap hanging off, or having their jacket hanging off their shoulders or only the arms on – you get the idea. How can they tolerate that? That drives me utterly batshit and makes me want to smack them and tell them to FIX IT BEFORE I SNAP.
I can’t believe no-one in three pages has explained how to avoid the “selecting more text than you wanted” issue - only one person even alluded to it!
In Microsoft Word, it’s Tools-Options-Edit and then deselect the checkbox for “When selecting, automatically select entire word”. I learnt this on the Dope. You may thank me in the next life.
The only FoodsCo in town is even further away.