Tips and tricks for phone reps, automated hotlines, and the lik

In My Humble Opinion
1

If you’ve called an automated phone line with an option for “please speak your problem”, always say “fire.” Then you get to jump the queue and get the most capable, experienced phone reps available. This also works for maintenance orders. At my dorm, I had a sink out of comission for three months until I reported it was on fire. Plumbers showed up in about ten minutes to fix it.

This one’s a bit tricky, but worth it: a CSR has a mute button and a hold button. With the hold button, you’re in la la land, but with the mute button, they can hear you, but you can’t hear them. CSRs know most folks don’t know this, and say “please hold” while they mute you.

Take this time to loudly compliment the CSR to your friends in the room. Mention how nice and helpful they are, and that you just might call their boss tomorrow and leave a positive note. I saved $200 in cable TV/internet bills last year with this trick and got upgraded to HD and movie channels.

ETA: That’s supposed to be “and the like.” Didn’t realize it cut me off. Mods, help?

2

I always try to be super nice and friendly. I try and give them the most pleasant customer experience of their entire day. I might inquire as to their location and mention the weather there, or ask if they are ready for the upcoming weekend/holiday/etc. If I’m frustrated I’ll never accuse the person on the other end of the line, explain lightheartedly the nature of the problem, how long I’ve been trying to get it fixed, and why it’s so important that it be fixed quickly. I work in IT and often have to call the IT departments of other organizations for help, in which case I try to develop a sense of camaraderie. If it’s a customer service department I call frequently I try to get to know the reps a little.

I think my trick is to try and humanize myself to them, and to let them know I value them beyond just being the drone on the other end of the line. It seems to work.

3

If you’re trying to get a human at an automated hotline, check out the shortcuts at this webpage.