Tips For the Ol' Family Vacation

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Vac … Va … Vacasi … Vacatione? Cavation? What is this

thing that you speak of?

Oh, wait, I went on one of those once. It was kidless (if you don’t count me and the girlfriend). We spent a week in the USVI (that’s United States Virgin Islands, don’t-cha-know). Spent the whole time sitting on the beach, or swimming, or drinking fruity drinks, or sometimes all of the above. It was great. It was also about 4 years ago. I should do that again. In fact, here’s a link to a crappy page I threw together a while back that has a picture of (a surprisingly hairless) me and the girlfriend sitting on the beach.

As far as the fence goes, my manly advice would be to stand around with a beer in your hand, squint, and say, “I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

22

Yes. Well, no actually. You’re that bad between vacations, which is why parents want to take vacations without the kids. The fact that it’s also a pain to have children while you’re on vacation is just gravy.
But don’t worry about it. What happens is that the human mind is ill-equiped to deal with the realities of raising offspring for 18 or so years (need I remind you that most other animals leave after a year or two). To compensate for this inability, the parental brain creates an alternate memory–in technical terms, it fuzzes out the messy, smelly, whiny aspects of child raising and multiplies the feelings associated with hugs, lisps, laughter and sleeping children. this does take a little time, so parents can voice a preference, nay, a need even, to get way from (escape) their children, but once they are actually separated from said child/children, the fuzzing begins and they spend the entire vacation wondering why they didn’t bring the kids. :wink:

And welcome to the MMP. May I interest you in some cherries jubilee?

23

You didn’t bring me a baby horseshoe crab? I’d have taken good care of it! It could play with the kitties!

Anyone who wants to help me make a couch slipcover is welcome. Please come soon.

I going to feel all healthy. I went and bought a lot of veggies, and I have big plans to eat weird things like salads and veggie dishes. I think it’s a reaction to the last week, during which we ate only pizza and french fries. I feel ill and fat, therefore the vegetables.

24

All my vacations are kidless, too. Heck, most of mine are spouse-less as well. I’ve been to the beach with just girl friends at least 6 times in the last two years, and at least 4 times with spouse. In fact, next month I’m going again to the beach with 2 friends. It’s only a 6 1/2 hour drive, so we go whenever we get a wild hair you-know-where.

There are times when I really regret being childless (not by choice), but I’ve learned to like my life without offspring…I dote on my nieces and nephews!

25

sigh So thats why we never take vacations. And thank you for the cherries jubilee!

26

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, earthpuppy, but there’s no guarantee with biological chilluns. They grow up and then it’s a crap shoot. There’s something to be said about the one’s who choose you to be a favorite relative.

27

Did you know that the treatment for getting water in your ear is to have someone shoot more water into your ear? Or is that only for me?

I got water in my ear on Saturday while in the shower. Other people get water in their ears by swimming in pools or lakes or rivers, maybe the ocean even (although I think swimming in the ocean is weird), but me, do I get an annoying malady after doing something fun? No, I get one in the shower (not that showers can’t be fun, but that’s another story). Anyway, my ear is all plugged up. A friend tells me to get a bottle of Swim Ear or some such thing–it’s alcohol, you drip it in your ear, and as the alcohol evaporates, it takes the water with it. Great, a quick fix.

No, not for me. Does nothing. Zilch. Zippo.

Next day, I’m still deaf in one ear and not happy about it. Another friend suggests I try the blow dryer. Now, I don’t use a blow dryer, if I do, my hair looks like the love child of the Thing from Outer Space and a sea sponge. I do, however, own a blow dryer, because I am a good hostess and provide one for my guests. So I aim the blow dryer at my ear. Then I turn off the blow dryer, remove my earring which has now branded me, and aim the blow dryer at my ear again. Warm air rushes deep down into my ear canal. Ahhh, this will dry the water and restore my hearing.

No dice, still deaf and annoyed.

So now it’s Monday. On the plus side, my ear is not oozing green gunk or throbbing with pain. Instead, it just steadfastly refuses to act as a hearing organ. So, I’m off to see the doctor. What I suspect is that, in my initial zeal to get the water out of my ear, I delved a little too deep with, yes, a q-tip. I know that nobody is suppose to put anything smaller than their elbow in their ears, but c’mon, folks, we all do it. So the PA peers into my ear and says, “oh, yes, nasty bit of wax back there, let’s irrigate.” Then he tells me a story about this guy that has had a watermelon seed in his ear for 15 years. He’s been deaf in that ear since then. The PA arranges for him to get it taken out, but they guy ends up cancelling the appointment, because it’s too much trouble. Anyway, the nurse irrigates my ear (using a really cool water shooter thingy, kind of like a cross between a syringe and a turkey baster) and all sorts of gunky stuff comes out and the PA, the nurse and I all ooh and ahh over it and I can hear again. Hooray!

What does it say about your life when having the wax build up in your ears removed is the highlight of your week? On second thought, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

28

I occasionally get my ears flushed out. I had to get it done once a year when I was a kid- I had really bad earwax buildup and I got lots of infections. I got it done last time about two years ago.

I just found out that Mr. Lissar didn’t know about my earwax problems. I’m sure he (and all of you) feel happy to have shared this bit of TMI about me. One big happy family.

Incidentally, we cleaned Bailey the Wonderkitty’s ears yesterday. Apparently he has a mite problem (yuck) which leads to weird brownish gunk buildup. So we held him down and q-tipped him, as per the vet’s instructions. He was not pleased with us. I didn’t know that cat’s ears could get so dirty. I mean, they’re always cleaning them, so how can they be that grungy? We used a lot of q-tips.

29

I’ve done the Kidless vacation, in fact, earlier this year we tried to dump the Toddler TM off at Grumma and Bapap’s house for a week, but she decided to have brain surgery instead so we took Toddler to Auntie Cici and Uncle Glark’s instead. Then we went to Tahiti for a week. Very nice.

Now, we just got back from a road trip to “Sesame Street Place” with Toddler TM in the backseat. “Mo’ milk, pleeese” “'nother present now” etc for 10 hours a day. not gonna do that again for a few years. She was fascinated by the giant monsters, but would not touch them, no way, no how. Not even Lovable little Grover. But she did get very excited to bring home Cookie Monster from the gift shop. And we met up with Auntie Cici, Uncle Glark, Brandon, Logan and Wessy for the week, too.

I really hated showing up for work today.

30

Oohh, cat ear mites are nasty things. Nearly all stray cats get them and mother cats can pass them on to the kittens. With my black kitty it took about three courses of treatment and multiple medications to get rid of the buggies. The gunk is mostly mite droppings. Nice, huh?

31

Ear gunk! A couple three or so years ago I was having trouble with my ears. A lifetime with nary an earache and now bunches. Okay, it was a couple, but still. So the doctor takes a look and declares I’ve got mold growing in my ears, on the wax build up, eeewwwww! He prescribed some stuff or another which my pharmacy didn’t have and I was a very sad puppy until my friend mentioned her doctor just had her squirt hydrogen peroxide into her kid’s ears last time he got the ol’ moldy ear. Which is what I did and let me tell you hydrogen peroxide in your ear tickles. Pretty soon the nasty moldy gunk floated itself on out and no more earaches or moldy ears since.

Poor Kallessa, I’m sure it’s nothing horrible because you don’t seem the type to be so enthusiastic about watermelon you’d end up with a seed in your ear. When you get all fixed up, we’ll bundle you up in bed next to Bailey the wonder kitten and give you camomile tea and almond madeleines.

Yeppers, flamingbananas, we are horrid things on vacation. Why, one vacation I had the gall to get prickly heat rash and cried so much my parents stuffed me in my play pen way at the back of the van so they didn’t have to hear me. Then they laughed and threw Nilla Wafers at me and took pictures of my red, miserable little self. On another vacation I had the bad taste to be suffering from chicken pox so they locked me in the tent and only let me out to swab me with what they said was calamine lotion and of course, to laugh at me and take pictures.

Seriously, every vacation it was something, falling off swings, getting lost, one time they tried to drown me. Sure, they said they were no where near the pool when the incident occured, but I wouldn’t put it past them to have hired that mean kid to drown me, plus why were they nowhere near me? What about proper parent supervision?! It’s no wonder I don’t go on vacation. I buy furniture instead. Very little at Ethan Allen is likely to kill you, except for the prices.

Also, I am the aunt all parents fear. I drive your kid around in my convertible and buy them big sunglasses and a leopard print scarf to keep her 'do unmussed. Then I give her sips of my espresso at the cafe where disreputible sorts like artists and poets hang out. We learn to have attitude and make witty quips before trying on many shoes and sampling completely inappropriately bright red lipsticks at the punk shops on the promenade. We then enjoy a double scoop of hazelnut gelato while discussing how she really should give up grade school to become a mime like the excellent one over on the corner. I deposit the little dear with you and then kiss kiss, ta darling!

32

Oh Ashes, you do bring back memories of being the far away aunt. I only see my nieces and nephews a few times a year, and then I drive three or four hundred miles away, leaving behind noisy toys, messy craft projects, and newly aquired bad habits. Actually, the niece who is having twins and the nephew who runs a golf course never got to see me in all my cool aunt glory because they are only ten and twelve years younger than me. But the second set, oh the times we’ve had.

With the boys, I found that a movie, complete with candy and a soda, followed by a visit to the arcade (with no restrictions on which games they played), and wrapped up with an ice cream cone generally brought them home in a state of utter rapture and hyperactivity. Their younger sister enjoys quality time–she doesn’t so much care what we do, as long as we do it without her brothers. Then she can torment them with all the fun times her brothers missed out on. I let my 14 year old nephew drive my rental car once, and the other brother used to go to lucnh with me and eat french fries, a Snapple and a milkshake. I’ve given them all water pistols of various sizes, nerf sling-shots, remote control cars (noisy ones), 10,000 beads, slime, farting noisemakers, farting sliming noisemakers, joke books, practical tricks books and an assortment of things too ugly, smelly or generally noxious to be voluntarily bought by a parent.

Oh, but they’re getting older now, and all they want are CDs and money, although the middle nephew is still pretty happy when he gets a blue icee at the movies. They grow up so fast.

33

Now that’s being a cool aunt! See, that’s why all that stuff is made. The manufacturers know parents ain’t gonna buy it but aunts, uncles and possibly grandparents will fork over mega bucks to buy it for their precious little nieces, nephews, grandkids. Personally, I bought all that kind of stuff as revenge for all the years older siblings picked on me and to my younger sister, well, because it was a way to remain an obnoxious big brother even after we grew up. :smiley:

34

Oh yes, ear gunk. Katcha has him some bad ear gunk. Soupo, on the other hand, squeeky clean ears. You just can’t tell. You know what the pediatrician told us to use on Katcha’s ear gunk? Colace. It’s a little pill you take when you’re not feeling so well. But not for your ears. (It’s to make you poo.) Only we use it in our darling child’s ears. It works too. At least I’m guessing Colace would work. We use the Target brand because it’s way cheaper. (If you’re going to make your kid’s ears poo, you should at least save some cash on the prospect.)

We poke one of the little capsules with a safety pin, and then squirt the goo into his ear. Then I massage it in the way my vet taught me to do with doggy ear mite medicine. In a day or two, giant (I mean GIANT) ear wax raisins come oozing out of his head. It is so gross.

The upside is we only have to do it every couple of weeks.

But that’s the Big Plans we have for the rest of the summer Snickers, squirting poo medicine into my kid’s head. (Maybe you should have squirted poo medicine in your ear Kalley.) I think that’s enough fun for everybody. Oh yeah, and they can sit on the little folding chairs we got them for the beach. Not regular folding chairs, but just the seat part and the back part with a strap on either side to keep them from falling flat when you lean back in them. The chairs are surprisingly comfortable. Not as comfortable as the regular beach chairs we had as the parents, but what can the kids do? I’ll tell you what they’ll do: they will sit in them until I decide they’ve gotten five smackoleons of sitting out of them since that’s how much scratch I dropped on them so they can have special beach chairs.

Along with clearing the ear gunk and the sitting, we’ll probably go camping with my brother and then there’s the traditional End of Summer Canoe Trip. Katcha may get to go this year. The Little Woman won’t go though. She’s busy that week. No matter what week we pick, she’ll be too busy to go canoeing until the end of time. She just doesn’t like canoeing all that much.

35

Kallessa will you be my auntie?

I never had any cool aunti experiences like that because I never got to see my cool auntie until after I got married.

36

Well, looks like the ears have it. Yesterday I had to take Jade a/k/a Sweetling Puddy[sup]TM[/sup] to the vets cause her poor little rosebud ears are all red and itchy. She doesn’t has no mites or mold, oh, no. She has yeast! :eek: Not the kind you use to bake bread with or make beer:p but the kind that makes doggy ears all red and itchy. So, anyway, the vet flushed her ears, gave her shots, gave me medicine and a big fat bill.

Lil Lestat[sup]TM[/sup] used to get terrible ear infections when he was a mite (not an ear mite, just a little crumb catcher mite). They were so bad it affected his speech development and he had a lateral lisp. For a while there I was the proud mother of Sylvester (Thufferin Thuckotath) till he got speech therapy in the first grade. Now he’s grown up and speaks his mind, er, perfectly. :frowning:

37

This is the great thing about having a couple of teens just about ready to leave the nest and a little nephew who’s only three. I get to be the cool uncle who gives him presents and candy and who is, ultimately, cooler than his parents.

:smiley:

By the way, if anyone was wondering, popcorn flavored jelly beans suck ass.

38

I’d like to take a kidless vacation; but that is not to be. Truthfully, I haven’t had a real, going away type of vacation since…well…since I’ve been a kid.

We’re talking about going to Mexico, sans kids, when the hubby’s bonus comes in, but that probably won’t be until about next spring now.

No ear mites or ear wax raisins to report at the Taters household, sorry.

Father’s Day was…expensive. On Saturday the hubby went out with “just the guys” on our neighbors boat. They had a most excellent time. However, they had SO much fun that hubby’s glasses are now on the bottom of Lake Tapps. He forgot he had them on ( :dubious: , and was pushed into the water, where they sank.

So, since he needs them to actually SEE, and requires them for driving his semi, we had to scramble to find someplace that was open AND had an eye doctor on duty. We ended up going to Lenscrafters where we spent quite a pretty penny or two. Oh well, he needed new glasses…the timing just sucked ASS is all. We ended up buying prescription sunglasses and regular prescription glasses for him.

Other than taking a dip in my friend’s pool and sucking down a few beers and vodka OJs, and hubby losing his glasses, my weekend was uneventful.

39

I’ve got a bunch of cats that had chronic ear mites. It was impossible to give all the cats ear drops daily for 2 weeks – because once you give one cat ear drops, the other cats won’t let you get near them for days.
My vet discovered a combination flea drops / ear mite monthly med called “Revolution”. It’s a tad more expensive than the monthly flea drops we’d been using, but the ear mites are gone!

I have no kids, but have 2 nieces. I took them to Disney World. They wanted to stay up late and sleep late and stay in the hotel watching Disney TV. On the morning of our last day there, it suddenly seemed to occur to them that they had wasted 5 days of precious time and they were upset and sad.
I used to be a kid, but I don’t understand them at all.

welby, The buttered popcorn flavored Jelly Bellies are my favorites.

40

When we adopted a new cat and it had ear mites our vet had us bring all the animals in the house in for a shot. They got two shots a couple of weeks apart and that killed the mites in the infected kitties and kept everyone else from getting them.

No drops required and the vet cleaned their ears each visit.