Tired of frequency drift when you're trying to zap your parasites?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We all hate it when that happens.

There you are, all set to administer a lethal dose of electricity to your internal parasite of choice via a handy hand-held device, when you get drift of a few critical Hz, and lo…instead of zapping your Fasciolopsis buski, you’ve given yourself a dose intended to immobilize Leishmania donovani (which you don’t happen to have at the moment). Worse yet, with more pronounced frequency drift you might wind up out of the parasite range altogether and instead raise and lower your neighbor’s garage door and set all the mutts in the neighborhood barking.

Worry no more.

The digital, programmable Zapper 3 is now available!

For the low low price of $399, you can zap all your parasites into oblivion*, plus cure all sorts of nagging medical problems from slipped discs to earwax buildup.

This is great stuff!!!
*730 kHz is reputedly effective against Jose Canseco.

2

She bears a suspicious resemblance to Dr. Ruth.

3

This device needs the Dan Aykroyd Bass-o-matic spiel. Or the “every record ever recorded” approach.

Let’s just pray that Billy Mays doesn’t get the job!

4

Dr. Ruth’s model is called “The Shocker” and does something different. :wink:

5

Kinky.

6

I … uh … wow. You know, my uncle Bertie invented one of these in 1964. Cured himself of cancer and heart disease in a single treatment. Gave his toaster a bath.

7

I dunno. For $399 I would think they could remember which labels they’re photoshopping off of their frequency generator.

I’ll admit that RS232 is usually a pricey extra, but I’m pretty sure I can get grounding straps cheaper myself.