Hey, don’t forget us Jews, man.
We’ve just been sandbagging for the last 2000 years.
You guys tired out yet?
I’m just tired of assholes. And not eating cheese. Man, do I miss cheese.
Then I guess you’re REALLY angry at the Pope, since he believes in Evolution, IIRC.
:rolleyes:
I’m tired of old fuddy-duddy, pre-Vatican II Catholics who think hang on the Pope’s every word as if he were God on Earth.
There.
:rolleyes:
I’m tired of nobody sharing their chocolate easter bunnies with me.
I’m not a big chocoholic…but dammit won’t somebody cough up a bunny ear…or a bunny tail for moi?
You’ll get extra smoochies from me if you gimme the whole damn rabbit.
Aw, man, can’t we all just get along? I mean, it is EASTER, almost, and all.
And a happy non-denominational spring time season. And to all…a …uh, good night, or something.
The first time I heard that some people were questioning evolution in American I thought someone was taking me for a fool. In fact, when I tell my friends (they are not as cosmopolitan as me) that there is a thing called “creationism” they just can’t believe me. They usually say soemthing like “They are the most advanced country in the earth how could someone in there believ in that crap”.
At school evolution was never questioned I remember my biology teachers preaching it as fervently as my religion teachers taught us about the virginity of the Virgin Mary.
To this day I found it hard to believe that some people read the bible as if it were “Asimov’s new guide to science” (my favourite science introductory book).
There’s a great joke that fits this occasion.
The Pope is visiting New York one day, and this guy runs up to the Popemobile, and says “Father Father, I must speak to you.” So the Pope arranges an audience, and the guy shows up at St. Peter’s the next day.
“What can I do for you, my son?” The Pope asks.
The guy says, "Listen Pope, I’m sick and tired of this shit. I don’t use Birth control and I have thirteen kids that I can barely feed. I can’t afford the tithings. I wake up on my one day off and spend the day in your crowded church. I listen to everything you say and I’ve been a good Catholic my whole life. What has it ever gotten me? My life sucks. Nothing good has ever happened. So, I just wanted to say “Fuck you Pope. Fuck you!”
“Fuck me?” The Pope asks.
“That’s what I said. Fuck you!”
The Pope smiles and shakes his head sadly.
"Oh no, no, no, my Son. Fuck YOU!
Okay, I know this is the punch line because it is at the end, but do I have to be Catholic to get this joke? :dubious: Yer a pitchin’ but I ain’ a catchin’!
Yeah - I so don’t get this joke either.
I don’t get the joke, don’t waste time explaining it to me becuase if you don’t get ti the first time, the it sin’t funny (at least for me).
Maybe I’m just a bad Catholic… I don’t get the joke either.
It appears that the joke (lame though it is) is that the Pope’s pointing out that the dude’s the one who’s fucked, not the Pope. Estilicon’s not alone in considering the joke not funny.
And thus ended Karol Wojtyla’s stand-up career and he entered the seminary…
I’ve heard that joke before, and while I didn’t find it funny then either, I think it was told wrong this time. The Pope is supposed to have a couple extra lines in the joke, and I think the “punchline” was supposed to be the alleged absurdity of the Pope gloating a little and using the word f*ck. With our society’s present distrust of authority figures and the recent sullying of such people’s reputations, I suspect any impact the joke might have had in shock value has eroded.
I told you Rexdart tou violated the first rule in telling a joke: Never explain it, if you have to do it the joke is doomed better pretend that you have seen a friend and get the hell out, in that way you will keep some popularity. I am expert in the field.
Fuck you, you silly cunt. While I’m all for helping out my fellow humans as needed, the last thing I want to do is pay for more Medicaid and welfare with my taxes. I understand that your viewpoint would be that people should just stop fucking, but that’s about as realistic of a goal as eradicating the drug “problem” in the United States. Birth control helps keep the population under control and keeps people from having children before they are ready. You, sir get a big, hearty fuck off in your Easter basket.
- “Non sunt in celi quia fuccant uuiuys of heli.”
Personally, I do not, and will never understand or agree with the Church’s position on birth control and sexuality. Never.
It’s all about power and control-I get pissed at the idea of celibate men telling everyone what to do with their bodies-when it hurts NO ONE. I can accept that the church teaches that abortion is wrong. I don’t quite agree with it, exactly, but I can accept it.
However, sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, and especially birth control, hurt no one except possibly those involved.
Hey, I didn’t tell the joke, and it was already dead loooooooooong before I attempted to fathom an explanation. I was surprised to see the same bombing joke on SDMB that I’d just heard IRL. My friend Ken, who did tell that joke Thursday, just dug himself out by telling a funny one after it bombed. Of course, if the second joke bombs too, you’re doomed forever, so it’s a risky maneuver.
Oh, for crying out loud. Do you even have the slightest idea where New York and St. Peter’s are on a globe? The next day? Did the Pope give some dweeb on the street a ticket on the Concorde just to have him finish asking him a question? In your world, does the Pope have magic powers of teleportation?
I’m tired of poor joke tellers. That’s all. Just tired of them. Tired of their their absurd premises and their non sequitur punch lines.
Oh, and Exion, there’s over a billion Catholics. You don’t know the meaning of tired… yet. Heh heh heh…
Okay here’s a joke about the Pope that’s funny:
A devout Catholic has dreamed his whole life of meeting the Pope and scrimped and saved to make the journey to Italy and ultimately the Vatican to meet him.
The big day finally arrives and the man is stationed outside the front door to the Vatican in a brand new Armani suit waiting for the Pope to come out so he can kiss his ring. The Pope comes out but completely ignores the man and instead walks up to a bum sitting on the ground slouched against the wall of the Vatican. The Pope leans over and says something to the bum which causes the bum to spring up and head off into the city with a newfound purpose while the Pope continues on his way.
The man who had come to meet the Pope was surprised that he had been ignored but quickly came to realize that the Pope was not impressed with him, being dressed up and obviously eager to to meet his Holiness, and instead deigned to talk to the bum to teach the man a lesson. Quickly hatching a plan the man runs into the city after the bum and exchanges his new suit for the bum’s filthy clothes and then heads back to the Vatican, assumes the position that the bum was in when the Pope spoke to him and then patiently waits for his Holiness to return.
After about an hour the Pope returns, sees the man slouched against the wall, walks up to him, leans over and says “I thought I told you to fuck off.”