Title for business cards?

An extremely smart (though pretentious and socially awkward) friend of the family had cards made with the title of “Expert”.

Seconding Principal. This is frequently used by founders / equity holders in service businesses, and conveys a high level of experience and authority without being too pretentious (or too silly).

I suppose “God-Emperor” is right out.

(Now that the question has been answered…)

I have actually seen a business card from Mr. John Carter. It said, “Warlord of Mars.”

A friend of mine has cards that read “Friend of the Elves.”

Potential Lunch Winner.

(I miss you, Mitch Hedberg!)