TMH (Too Much Hotsauce)

I am addicted to hot sauce. I buy the hottest Habanero that I can find locally which generally is at Whole Foods. It’s not painfully hot, not usually, but it’s hot enough to satisfy my cravings and can burn quite a bit if you douse it on.

Well the other night my girlfriend and I were sitting on the beanbag enjoying a bag of popcorn. Of course I have to have hot sauce on my popcorn, so I put it in a bowl, dump a bunch of hot sauce on it and eat it with my fingers. I also managed to feed her some, she said she liked this particular brand, but it was a bit hot for her. We made out for a while during the movie and she said it made her lips numb. Mine were a bit numb too. It felt funny but not bad at all. Kind of cool actually, and made for a nice kissing effect.

So this leads to that and the next thing I know we are on my bed and I am going down on her and everything is going really well. In fact everything went really well. A few minutes later we are getting ready to do this thing and she suddenly looks really nervous, and a little bit upset, and wonders if the hot sauce on my fingers made it to her… oh damn, this definitely just happened. Do you want to take a shower? Here’s my towel… I am so, so sorry.

So she takes a shower and comes back and says it basically just feels funny, burns a little bit, and tingles, and after a little while it goes away and she forgives me, in the best way humanly possible.

TMI

And now tonight I was enjoying some hot sauce on chips and the next thing I know one thing led to another and fuck, I did not just do that to myself. Are you serious? Well it’s a little bit painful but actually not that bad. I don’t think this is the kind of thing one can get addicted to. In fact one might want to wash their hands in the future. And I suppose now that I’ve done it to myself I have learned my lesson.

One hopes.

New meaning to the term “Chilihead”. :smiley:

May I suggest a new pet word for her naughty bits: Houlihan.

Moving thread from IMHO to Mucho Painful Sauces I Must Share.

Obligatory jokes:

That’s hot.

Did you yell, “Fire in the hole!”?

Tomorrow night: “Not tonight, hon. I’m feeling a little chili.”

Dat’s a spicy-a meat-a-balls!

etc.

Coulda been worse. Coulda been Hotsauce in the Dickhole.

I have no idea how I found out about this tape. I was probably Googling “dickhole” at the time.