“No matter how you squirm and dance,
The last drop always stains your pants.”
Guys, you know the drill:
wizzzzz “ahhhh. Much better”
shake shake
wait
shake…dribble “aha! Gotcha ya! sneaky little lurker!”
wait
SHAKESHAKESHAKESHAKESHAKESHAKE
wring ok, all clear.
stow the hose, turn to the sink…is that something cold on my thigh? look “DAMN & BLAST IT ALL!” :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Never a problem when I’m kommando, oddly enough.
Feel free to commiserate or advance solutions.
Even worse when you are wearing khaki pants at work. You either have to wait for the drops to dry, or soak the front of your pants and make it look like the faucet sprayed you.
No commisseration or solutions for you however there is something I’ve always been curious about, why don’t men wipe? It seems to me that just one or two squares would dry things up. Can’t you spare a square?
Is it because you are all so enviromentally concerned that you don’t want to waste paper?
Is it some sort of prehistoric animalistic urge to “mark your territory” by flinging the remaining urine drops around the room?
Is it just because you like shaking your wangs?
What freaks me out is guys who will come up to the urinal, unleash a torrent of urine, and then just shove it right back in there without any shaking at all! How do they do that!? Is there some exercise I could do to learn that? Dick-ups, or something? It’s like their prostate doubles as one of those toothpaste squeezers.
It isn’t a matter of wiping. The last few drops seem to hide, waiting for you to reholster the shooting iron before slipping out.
That, and we like playing with it. 
No toilet paper at public urinals, and you wouldn’t want to put it there, because then they’d throw them in the urinal.
I suppose you could make some kinda water spray, like a bidet, but then either guys wouldn’t trust it to be clean, or else they’d never leave.
In a public restroom, there is not TP near the urinal. Hence the guy’s options are to shake out, which invariably fails to get every last drop; or else to walk, dick flopping out across a public restroom, to a bathroom stall or paper towel rack, which, needless to say, Just Isn’t Done ™.
Now, if I use a stall to pee, or I do so in the comfort of my own home, I probably will take a square or two to dab.
What is it about this board that makes me post in these vulgar threads?
I was at a club once and made the mistake of leaning against the countertop to check my teeth in the mirror. The counter was wet and my crotch soaked up about a quart of water. Got my coat (carried it in front of me) and left.
So a drop or two gets on your briefs. Doesn’t bother me.
<ahem>
::singing::
You can shake it,
you can beat it,
you can do a little dance.
No matter what you do,
the last drop hits your pants!
::bows:: Thank you!
Remember: If you shake more than three times, you’re playing with it. Put it away.
Feh. The real problem is that the penis tends to be like a bottle of Windex. And sometimes, in the middle of the night, little gnomes will come in and switch the setting from “Stream” to “Spray”. That’ll really make a mess.
There’s an invisible button behind your balls, that you press to release the last drop of pee. My husband does this. Somebody posted the instructions on here years ago.
Yeah, that button becomes available with experience–I think it’s like a low spot in the urethra (like the suspiciously named P-trap in the drain under the sink) and giving it a nudge can yield a squirt or two. Doesn’t always do the trick though.
But that does remind me of something I couldn’t help noticing once–accidentally of course. T’was a technique employed by an older fellow. Near as I can tell he had unsufficient water pressure to expell normally so…if I may be blunt…he “milked” is like a cow teat. Damnedest thing. In the privacy of my own latrine I’ve tried to duplicate this effort, but it’s always been counter productive for the primary stream, and ineffective at addressing lurkers.
And Bob, a snuggly drop or two is no big deal, it’s when the moisture migrates to a visible location that makes that sweet touch of manly “who cares” annoying. Kinda like most guys don’t mind people knowing that they have sex, but few are so proud of showing off a fresh cumstain in their jeans caused by inadequate postcoital maintenance.
I’m sorry. No way in hell would I, in a public restroom, reach down inside my pants and grab behind my balls whilst holding my willy out with the other hand. I think that’s what George Michael was arrested for.
How about getting clothing makers to put in a small square of fabric so you can deal with the excess? Then you’d always have it with you!
Even if you pee 10 times a day, by the time drop #2 gets on your shorts, drop #1 is dry. Many times you don’t get any drops at all. If it soaks enough to be visible through your pants, then that’s a lot more than a drop would do.
Stay-Free Peenie Pads! It was a SNL bit with Bill Murray and…maybe Steve Martin. At a disco with Lorraine Newman and maybe Gilda. Fucking hilarious!
I did not see the SNL skit. Perhaps they could use the tagline:
“Dad, you ever feel not-so-fresh?” 
SNL did something like that for a line of jockstrap. Father and son ahving a discussion about…confidence.
I thought this thread would be about walking naked on the beach…