If you please, a question to the ladies in this thread; if you count your first day of bleeding as day one, on what days is your PMS noticable?
If my PMS is indeed a pattern, it happens about four days before day one, and lasts about three days.
QtM, although I felt destructive during PMS, acting upon it is a whole other matter. The worst actual thing I’ve ever done is lock my husband out on the balcony. For ten minutes. On a warm sunny day when he had already set his comfy chair and his newspaper out there.
I usually start feeling cranky and emotional three or four days before it but the moment it starts I get an overwhelming sense of relief because I can cheer up again. It’s so instantaneous that I think it must be more mental than hormonal.
I have the advantage of being extremely regular. If I am ever feeling overwhelmed with despair, I assess whether it is in fact the week before my period. About 95% of the time, it is. Statistically one would expect 25%, right? So I make a conscious decision not to truly throw in the towel for at least 1 week. And, generally, problem solved.
If this is new for you, I hope you’re able to discuss it with your doctor.
QtM, I would agree with the “crime of passion” analogy in that PMS could be an argument for an act of violence being non-premeditated. Also, isn’t what the lawyers are generally concerned with whether the person was sane enough to know right from wrong? I would think that would vary from person to person and need to be a finding on a case by case basis. My PMS has never been so bad that I didn’t know right from wrong, but perhaps it’s possible, similar to some accounts of the Andrea Yates postpartum depression case.
My period is very regular (thanks, yasmin!) and the day before it starts up through about the 3rd day in I have PMS. My version of PMS is a little bit different from everyone else’s, though. I get extremely paranoid instead of sad or angry or whatever. Every little thing that happens feeds into that paranoia and I have found that it is easiest to fight it by asking myself why I feel that way. It generally goes something like this:
[pbbth’s paranoia]Oh my god, I am coughing! I can’t afford to get really sick! I don’t have PTO at work yet and I will get fired if I miss a day! Wait a minute, why am I coughing? Oh yeah, that lady sitting over there is wearing about a gallon of perfume. I’m not, in fact, sick at all.[/pbbth’s paranoia]
or
[pbbth’s paranoia]Oh my god, my boyfriend is going to break up with me! I just know it! I haven’t talked to him today and I haven’t seen him online and why would he be avoiding me if he wasn’t going to break up with me? Wait a minute, why do I think he is avoiding me? He had to get up early today and go to a class that doesn’t get out until 2. It isn’t even 1:00 yet. And on top of that I saw him yesterday. That is NOT avoidance.[/pbbth’s paranoia]
I would never, ever use my PMS as an excuse for anything I did. If I can’t keep myself from hurting other people or destroying property or something for 4 days a month then I need professional help whether or not my period had anything to do with it. I think the only excuse PMS would give me is that my behavior wouldn’t have been premeditated.
Well, if your doctor is any good, it might. Maybe Mirena is not a good choice for you. There are lots of alternatives, including a nonhormonal IUD. Maybe your postpartum hormones are not normal. Sometimes antidepressants can be prescribed for severe PMS. Lifelong mild mood swings are different, IMHO, from new, extreme mood swings and if it were me I’d look into it medically.
Quadgop, it depends on the severity of the case. If someone has a documented case of PMDD, it should be considered a mitigating factor like any other psychiatric disorder would be. It really does feel like I’ve always heard dissociative states described, so if someone with a dissociative disorder can claim temporary insanity or not guilty by cause of mental defect, it seems appropriate for PMDD patients to be able to do the same thing.
The Chinese say (according to my former roommate anyway) that women have eight opportunities in life to change their general health entirely, and one of them is pregnancy. Another is nursing.
For me it was all win, as when I had kids I lost my migraines altogether and also lost my very regular menstrual cycle in which I had a period twice every month of the world and therefore I was the only catholic teenager in the world who actually was on the Pill to regulate my periods.
However, you have got the combination of having recently had a baby and – I don’t remember, did you/do you nurse? – having a hormonal IUD. For one of those it is easy to find out whether it is the source of the problem by switching to a plain old copper T or even to some other method of birth control. Talking to my own huisarts about such matters is a waste of time unless I am telling him what to do (which he is most agreeable about), but this may just be him.
Some people are helped by taking a supplement of calcium and magnesium, and it can do you no harm to give it a whirl. But it doesn’t help the first day of course. In the US a the crunchy granola crowd take black cohosh; on this side of the pond the reformwinkel folks take chaste tree berry, but I would avoid herbal supplements while breastfeeding if you are.
I have struggled with the same question as the OP - although I have not suffered to the extent of calling my husband a loser, or telling him to get out of my house - I have extreme mood swings during the 7-10 days before my period starts.
These stronger than usual emotions are definitely worse since I had my baby 3 years ago. My hormones seem to be in overdrive or something. Or maybe it is my age, I am 38.
All I can do is look at the calendar when I start to feel out of control, and 9 times out of 10, it is within that 7-10 day window. During that time I try very hard not to be in the position of making any decisions or dealing with any stressful situations. I also warn my husband not to take me too seriously and to give me as much alone time as possible.
It’s a horrible feeling though - to feel so out of control - and to not be able to trust your feelings… I hate it!
